Question

Here goes another one...

Death waltzes on my lawn
A delicate dance meant for two
But i'm not sure of the steps
and I don't want to look like a fool
So I watch from behind the shallow glass
Death stares at me with a blank expression
His eyes run cold, with the lifeless tone

Answer 1

i really liked this one it was really dark which was cool. I do however have some critics. i felt like i liked everything until the second to last sentence. I felt like that line didnt flow as well. Also i would make it longer i like the last line but u think it should go on i hope this helps

Answer 2

I love this. I was actually hoping for more like that's not where you should leave it omg add more lol so good! Either way its amazing love that the sentences go well with each other. The sentence before the last is a little odd I must admit but after reading it for the third time I can actually agree if fits well and I'm sure if you were to make it longer the sentence would fit in well. The last sentence was great just It would have been great if it matched sort of with the previous sentence. Either way it was amazing as it is and you should make it longer.

Answer 3

Haha will do, thanks!