Question

*~* Soooo I decided NOT to post the entire essay, because it's super long, and I think it's monotonous <.< But I'm going to post the counterargument paragraph. ANY feedback is appreciated! Thank you so much! :3

Answer 1

Many might argue that smoking and drinking provides the escape, distraction, and relaxation for which they are searching, after or throughout a long stressful day. They might also add that many others smoke and/or drink regularly, so why shouldn't they? And by outlawing smoking and drinking, they believe that they would not be able to loosen up and liberate themselves from the tensions generated by daily life. Sadly, people do not realize that they are being influenced by others around them into making those negative choices. In response to such objections, I would suggest that people consider the numerous beneficial alternatives for "escaping". Wake up at 5 a.m. and go out for a run before you start your day. Keep yourself motivated throughout your day by keeping your spirits high and your goals for the day in perspective. After coming home from work or school, take a few deep breaths and jump into any meditation or yoga exercises. Find one positive thing that interests you and focus on just that, or try discovering something new everyday, about yourself or about the world around you. But these are only some of the many options for relieving yourself of your everyday stresses with positive, long-term effects.

Answer 2

I would suggest adding 'easy escape' in particular
because people tend to smoke and drink because these are 2 fast and easy done options

you can also add the fact that they are harming themselves by thinking these choices help them loosen up (as you said) while in reality these choices actually make these people more addicted to smoking/drinking and furthermore increasing the desire/dosage of these - because with each round the satisfying dosage requirement keeps increasing.
thats like a medical reasoning if you need it lol

actually you can just leave it like that
it sounds pretty good
just giving some suggestions if you wish to change it a bit :)

Answer 3

Thanks for the suggestion! :D
and I did not include such facts in this paragraph because I have 4 other paragraphs before this one full of stats and facts about drinking and smoking lol ~I got carried away /.^
And I like that - "easy escape" - Thanks again! :3

Answer 4

you are welcome :))

Answer 5

ooh! Well written paragraph :D

Answer 6

See anjything i mughty need to edit?

Answer 7

wow
x.x
the typs
soz
tired
heh

Answer 8

lol

Answer 9

Well your paragraphs look perfect to me (like squids). Or I'm to sleepy and I can't find any small mistake afterall I am the Grammar Police :P

Answer 10

ahaha you? ur not hte onle cop in town buddeh
nyce try
thanks annyhow x'D