Question

Poem please critic i dont think this is my best poem so anything helps

Answer 1

@Crissy15 @ilovewolf @ilovefood @Makaylatracy

Answer 2

@shelbydancer

Answer 3

@Ashleyrh1999

Answer 4

Nice

Answer 5

@Ashleyrh1999 okay thanks

Answer 6

@~*Ashtyn*~

Answer 7

I like it! and I LOVE the way you use your words :)

Answer 8

For once in my life, honesty is a new heart. love that line

Answer 9

lol @~*Ashtyn*~ thanks

Answer 10

You could probably mention that the mud in the swamp was holding you back.

Answer 11

@Crissy15 thanks

Answer 12

@GreenCat omg i like that a lot.

Answer 13

I could have run a long time ago,
And you know I think I should have.
But I didn’t...
And now I'm glad that I never did!
Because I'm finally out of the swamp!
I'm free.
No longer the mud storing me deep inside
As if I was some sort of captive.
Because I was.

For once in my life, honesty is a new heart.
Breathing is the new collection
Talking is the words without screaming...

Rock bottom is a volcano ready to erupt
Sometimes for the worst
And you end up further down.
But every now and then you
Find it giving you a tiny fire
Big enough to shot you to the top.
Rather than just drop.

Answer 14

@GreenCat there i changed it a little

Answer 15

to get rid f the ?diamonds, just refresh the page

Answer 16

i think i may also make it a little longer

Answer 17

Huh good to know thanks @GreenCat

Answer 18

@NathanHill1089 @KissMyAxe @hugsnotughs @vanessaperezxo @fallenangelorchid @demonchild99

Answer 19

@chainedecho

Answer 20

Great poem keep on writing them you have a gift

Answer 21

@chainedecho haha thanks

Answer 22

I believe its "ran"
"and you know how i feel" sounds better (personally to me, but you dont have to change them)

I like the metaphores you used. They're sifistocated, and well developed. Maybe bring in the same metaphor to add more effect in communicating what you're saying. It may be more effective. But remember, just because someone says something doesn't mean you should do it. It's still yours and what you think of it matters the most.

Answer 23

sophisticated*

Answer 24

@ispike Welcome ^^

Answer 25

@Rosalina_Rose

Answer 26

@britanyashton thank u and i love it and appreciate it when i find people like u who r respectful and also help out and try to make me a better writer by critiquing me. So thank you. And youre write it should be ran so i will change that. Thanks for the advice!!!