Question

I need help making my intro paragraph a lot better, its about taking the SAT.... needs to be like a college paper

Answer 1

Is the SAT an effective measure of intelligence or student learning? Cambridge Dictionaries Online defines the SAT as “Scholastic Aptitude Test: a test taken in the US to measure students' abilities before they go to college.” Most high school students in the United States have had to take the SAT. Since the SAT was introduced in the early twentieth century, it has been a huge obstacle for high school students. There are many aspects of the SAT, and each aspect causes problems. In this paper, I will argue that the SAT is bad for high school students.

Answer 2

This is a good start. A couple of notes:
1. You mention that "there are many aspects," but it is not clear what you mean by "aspects." Do you mean subjects? Issues? Problems? Using a different word and giving brief examples would be helpful.
2. You call the SAT a huge obstacle, but why? Do you have any proof?
3. You say that "most high school students ... had to take the SAT," but again, how do you know this, and why is this important? Most high school students have also gone to prom, but so what?
4. The word "bad" is not descriptive. Specifically, what is "bad" about the SAT? Do you mean "unhealthy," "emotionally distressing," etc.?
5. It is not clear what your essay will be about. You start the paragraph by asking one question about the SAT's effectiveness, but then you end by saying that you will argue that the SAT is bad for students. These are two separate essay topics.

Hope this helps get you going.