Question

Hey, so I wrote this poem, was curious to what others think of this. Anyways, critique as much as possible, and let me know what you think. :)

Answer 1

Ethereal Detachment
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She laid her fragile body across the onyx floor. Her ethereal rib cage was exposed, I had used her memories as thread to sew her misery with tears with her own fingertips within my hand, to banish her imprisoned scars.
I anchored her up on a scarlet chair and tied her ankles with her tears, to remind her of the pain she had experienced. I Arched her back upwards. She began to bellow agony, as the alignment took place. I grabbed a pair of dainty scissors. Her body started to resist even more as I neared her back.
The ethereal rib cage was attached to her spine invoking distraught. I began to clip the rustic metallic cord that was soul-bound.
Her spine started to recoil and leak anguish. Each droplet projected a scenario that captivated the anxiety that had given birth to each insecurity to which manifested throughout the years.
The scarlet chair began to change its hue. As if it became a mood chair. Its mood indifferent, so it was translucent. So if you had laid on your back under the chair, you could see each metallic thread detach and recoil at the same time.
Once I had clipped the final cord, her eyes became a movie theatre, and I had delved into her thoughts even furthered than I had hoped. I could see her wants, her goals, and each thought that occurred during each scenario. It was if I became the parchment to her cerebral typewriter. And the fabric for the parchment was my mind, to which was rendered to disparaging nostalgia.
Afterwards, the onyx floor had became a chronological canvas of misery. I had neared my finger to touch a droplet, to only be dissatisfied with a hiss. I couldn't untie her ankles anymore, because her tears evaporated.
I picked her up off of the chair, and leaned her forehead onto mine. Our eyes began to lock, but her pupils split into two and began to converse with my own. Sparing no time to be wasted. The ebony pupil had flapped horizontally and said "thank you". I then blinked and the abnormal gratitude had vanished.

Answer 2

excuse my words but DAMN

Answer 3

What do you think?

Answer 4

The picture is for the poem :)

Answer 5

i think that the characters inside this work of amazement is going to go farther than anthing thing else some one can write this open my mind into a story that i hope i can read more of . when u get time to add more if you are going to add more.