Question

okay here's a short story

Answer 1

this is longer than my usual writings and i wrote this a while ago but here it is. please critic let me know what u think

Answer 2

@geneticrockhopper247 @fallenangelorchid @cupcakerain @MakaylaTracy @Baby_Bear69 @kittycat123 @1DISAMAZING2345 @aayushi.somani @amistre64 @bohotness @britanyashton @butterflydreamer @chainedecho @chmvijay @Crissy15 @demonchild99 @emmilinev @Heypips @horsegirl27 @HWBUSTER00 @jagatuba @k12andstudyislandhelp @kittycat123 @koolkat13 @lillymbug @Mr4speed @nothingwasthesame @PoetryPrincess @puppypower49 @Ravenn @serenacox @Sheraz12345 @southmini @xXToxicGummywormsXx @YanaSidlinskiy

Answer 3

It's funny how you wake up one day and there be that single moment of nothingness. Day by day, there's always that singular moment of nothing. It's not a moment of hope or a moment of loss, it's simply nothing. It's the only time where that maze inside your head is a straight line of abyss, but then walls are quickly pushed together; creating boundaries and deformity. That's when life kicks in. You're either living or you're empty and society is not made for an empty man. However, that one moment of silence, of emptiness, of bliss is nice; but like I said before, it never lasts.

I woke up the other day with a smile on my face. It was the first time in ages that I had slept well. Of course I still woke up in the middle of the night with a stomach ache and I still had the usual nightmare, but I woke up feeling awake. October 18th was the date. Then the day only got better as I soon realized my parents weren't home. It was nice to go down the stair case feeling, free. I know my parents are decent people and good parents, but I can't truly be me in front of them or anyone for that matter. I'm simply too imaginative for society, but there has always been someone I could be myself around. That would be my dogs.

I remember when I was little I would pretend that I was in the jungle and my dogs were giant lions and leopards. They were so terrifying that with one look you were petrified! I would run around the yard trying to be some kind of ninja, but they would always turn to look at me. They wanted to make sure that I was okay. I loved my dogs and still do. I would even say that I love them more then people and I say this strongly. I mean, people are great and all but they're also selfish and have so many desires. Dogs just want to be loved.

Theres been times in my life when I've had nobody. You may think that I'm exaggerating but I can promise you that I'm not. It's sad but it was true. However I always had my dogs. They were they existence that never left my side and always cared for me. When I was sad they would let cry across there chest. I guess you could say it was pay back for all the times they slobbered all over me. Nevertheless, they were there and they may have been uncomfortable but they always had there ways of making me feel better.

I grew up with a dog named Daisy. She was my best friend! Daisy was a sweetheart and she was a mutt. She was a lab/pit bull mix and she was gorgeous. She was bright red; the kind of red you could see miles away as if it were in plain sight. Then there was her eyes that were the darkest of brown and carried black around them as if someone had drawn eyeliner around her eye. Her fur wasn't soft but it wasn't wiry either. It was just her. She had strong muscly arms for most of her life that is and white fur had been graced upon her chest. There was another white spot on her front left paw but the rest of her color was as red as the prettiest of roses. I had Daisy since she was a pup and she had me since I was a child.

I was 17 when she died and she was 14. All but three years of my life were lived and spent together. Now I'm expected to live a lifetime in her absence. Sure, she was a dog, but if you're a person whose saying she's just a dog then you have no idea. She was there for me; she was there for me when no one else was and she is the reason why I stayed strong. She was the only creature in this world that knew everything about me and never judged me for a second. She never ever hurt me like people do. Except for the time she ate my bunny or the time she ate my cat. Even though she was a hunter she never meant any harm to me and she always had a look in her eyes that made you say it was okay. They were the same eyes that calmed me down. Those same eyes that aren't here and can't stop me from crying.

Now I'm stuck here grieving. Grieving, I've always hated that word. I don't know why. I guess it's because I hate it when I do grieve. I also hate it when people say RIP. I feel like they don't have enough respect to spell it out. She was worth so much more. More then me or more then any person for that matter. So now I just want to grieve in peace but peace has always been an obstacle for me.

I had known for about a year that her end was coming soon. She had cancer covering her body. There was tutors sticking on the outside and if you felt beneath her skin you could feel the aching tumors that laid beneath the surface. It was hard to watch her in so much pain. Watching the grey hairs perch upon her bright reds, watching her muscle decrease slowly and effortlessly, and watching her moving in such pain. Eventually procrastination becomes long overdue and it's just time to say goodbye.

The day she died I had an idea that it would be that day but being in denial or not thinking about it seemed like a better option. It wasn't until the moment that my mom called that I realized this was real. She said it was time to say goodbye and that my twin brothers would come pick me up. So during this waiting time I tried to distract myself until my brothers arrived at our new house.

You see we had just moved and my dogs were being cared for at the old house. We visited everyday and played with them but her energy could only progress for moments. Some days she was in to much pain to even come to us. She would get up and run to her spot, barking at us until we said hello.

On that particular day, there last day, they had visited me. My brothers had brought Daisy and our other dog Socks over. Socks was 13 and it was her last day, hence why I said there earlier. Socks could barley walk due to injuring herself on several occasions. By this point in her life she was just shaking. Socks and I were never close but she was part of the family. Socks was a pit bull mix with lab, the same breed as Daisy, but Socks was black. She also had a white cover chest. Socks was always happy. She was the dog who you would push to the side and she thought that meant you loved her and wanted her closer.

When the two walked into my house they went to adventure, as they smelled all the furniture. I remember Daisy trying to go upstairs and me having to help her down the three steps she barely made it across, but I smirked as I remembered how she is the same dog that use to jump over the couch while we were sitting on it and never grassed a head. We left fairly soon and rode my brothers brand new truck. The day was perfect, only casting 80 degrees outside and the clouds covering speck by speck and leaving room for brightness. I felt like a rainy day would seem more fitting but a perfect day was better because at least they got a perfect day.

The windows were rolled down and I could smell barbecue running through the town reminding me of home, family, and my childhood. Of course memories started to fill through my mind in an endless time warps. There were good times and there were bad times but at the end of the day there was always me and Daisy.

We took some family pictures and then it was time. We took the two to the shelter so that they could be put to sleep and out of there misery. I went in the car that Daisy was in and I stayed with her until they made me leave. When it was time to say our last goodbyes, I just left. I knew that if I looked at her one more time or if I had hugged her that I wouldn't have let go. I knew there would be a fight or at least a big ordeal. I would have just broken and the truth is I didn't want to cry in front of her because I knew she would know something was up. It was a day about her not me. So I left with hardly any tears but that doesn't change the fact that I had to let go of my bestest and truest friend and now I will never see her again...

Answer 4

Wow... all I can say is wow. This is amazing

Answer 5

@horsegirl27 Omg thanks really?! i would think that its devoured by mistakes lol but thank you

Answer 6

lol don't be hard on yourself. It's really well written and unless I read and think really hard, i can only find things that people MIGHT say are mistakes. I give this a 500% out of 100

Answer 7

lol thanks and yea well like im major dyslexic along with some other things and no one else has edited this but me so i just assume theres a lot wrong lol haha @horsegirl27

Answer 8

Oh that sucks to be a writer and dyslexic. Well, don't assume. Because it's fine. It's better than that, it's great!!

Answer 9

And I love the description of Daisy. Sounds like a great dog. I'm sorry she's gone

Answer 10

ok so here are a few mistakes: tutors should be tumors, and actually I think that's it XD

Answer 11

@horsegirl27 lol thanks and not really. You see all most learning disabilities and processing disorders such as dyslexic are, are different ways of using your brain. The problem is that society is designed a certain way that is inefficient for people with learning disabilities. But because we think differently we are using certain parts of our brains more than most people while using other parts less. People with dyslexia tend to be more creative than the average person because they use that side of there brain more. So its both a blessing and a curse

Answer 12

The only "mistakes" I see grammatically is a lack of commas where a couple of commas should be and the mistake that @horsegirl27 pointed out above, and that is simply me nitpicking. Considering that my best friends are a horse named Shortcut and a cat named Cocoa, I feel the connection between you and Daisy.

Answer 13

@horsegirl27 alright i will fix that do u know what paragraph its in?

Answer 14

paragraph 7

Answer 15

@horsegirl27 also im glad u liked it

thanks

Answer 16

And I have had a few horses that I have loved more than anything and they died :(

Answer 17

@geneticrockhopper247 okay cool i will be sure to look for those things when i edit it and im glad u made the connection

Answer 18

@horsegirl27 thats sad. Known of my horses ever died but i did have to sell them so i can understand. I also had many friends who had to put down there horses

Answer 19

Yes, it's so sad. And the one went from colic, which is so sad. Others went from broken legs. one was just 1, the other 3. Others from old age.

Answer 20

that is so sad i had a horse that colliced one time it was scarry but she was okay after a while and yea ive known a couple who have had the same problems @horsegirl27

Answer 21

oh good. Yeah colic is so scary, at least it's often treatable

Answer 22

*good she was ok lol

Answer 23

yea i had one horse that when we got him he was nothing but skin and bones. He had been over feed and his stall was never cleaned so he was stand in three feet of poop. He foundered and they almost put him down. Then with in the same year he started doing better but had to be sold these next people didnt feed him at all. He went from obese to skin in bones with in a year. Some one rescued him again and we got him two weeks later

Answer 24

okay is it me or is this a really good

Answer 25

@MakaylaTracy the story!!!!????

Answer 26

yes sorry i was crying

Answer 27

omg wow thanks @MakaylaTracy

Answer 28

no prob

Answer 29

@rubyredgirl20

Answer 30

@Blopez02 @Anna1448

Answer 31

this is amazing o_o like wow omg

Answer 32

@Anna1448 thank you im glad you liked it

Answer 33

no omg thank you

Answer 34

i loved reading it

Answer 35

@Anna1448 you made my day lol

Answer 36

I love this, just like most of your works!!!

Answer 37

@Heypips thank you

Answer 38

I loved it.

Answer 39

@k12andstudyislandhelp thank you

Answer 40

why was i tagged in this??

Answer 41

@rubyredgirl20 Because when @ispike was writing this, they thought it would be appropriate to tag people who might enjoy reading it...

Answer 42

@rubyredgirl20 i just looked and i never tagged u and if i did and im mistaken than its like what @heypips said.
Sorry if u didnt like it

Answer 43

Actually no im really not sorry if u didnt like it or if anyone didnt like it because i put it on here so i could be critiqued thus becoming a better writer

Answer 44

^

Answer 45

@nothingwasthesame

Answer 46

that was beautiful

Answer 47

@nothingwasthesame thank you

Answer 48

@mattrobakk heres the one that i meant to tag u in because this one is a short story not a poem lol