Question

can anyone help me editing and correcting my grammar and punctuation in my story please

Answer 1

@Octoknightx can u please help me ?

Answer 2

Yeah, I'm checking this out.

Answer 3

ok thanks

Answer 4

can u please edit it on the same document

Answer 5

Ok, but this second sentence is bothering me. Maybe it's fine, but I'll ask you. "I was astonished at the white fluffy snowflakes that were falling from the sky and around me because I wasn’t expecting it to snow since the last countries I visited during my tour had summer." Somewhere around "from the sky and around me" is where I feel it got messed up. Maybe it would be better to split it up into two sentences?

Answer 6

yes it bothered me too i really didn't know how to fix it

Answer 7

What about, " "I was astonished at the white fluffy snowflakes that were falling from the sky and ALL around me because I wasn’t expecting it to snow since the last countries I visited during my tour had summer."

Answer 8

there is no difference except all right?

Answer 9

Or, " I was really amazed that there were snowflakes falling from the sky. I wasn't excepting it to snow since the last countries I visited were hot and sweaty. ( for summer). The snow flakes danced around me before falling to the ground"

Answer 10

^_^

Answer 11

I just don't want to add anything not in the story already.

Answer 12

Well I mean adding words like "all" and anything else is fine, but adding details that affect the story...

Answer 13

oh...what do u think of @RainbowBrony555 sentence that he wrote now

Answer 14

I'm a girl.. ^_^

Answer 15

I think it's fine, if you are willing to change the flow of your story. I rather just fix the grammar and keep it mostly the same.

Answer 16

oh sorry

Answer 17

that's okay :) @sanra123 lol

Answer 18

ok how will i fix it?

Answer 19

Lol. ik @Octoknightx

Answer 20

Well I'm just going through this story and editing as I go.

Answer 21

ok thanks

Answer 22

I think that "I was astonished at the white fluffy snowflakes that were falling from the sky and ALL around me because I wasn’t expecting it to snow since the last countries I visited during my tour had summer." Is TOO long

Answer 23

Yeah, well I split it.

Answer 24

cause i have to describe the country that i landed in thats why it has to be too long.

Answer 25

Right now, I'm having a problem with the end of the sentence. It says, "...the last countries I visited during my tour had summer." Now it just doesn't sound right to say "had summer", but I don't know what else to say...

Answer 26

thats the only thing i can say!

Answer 27

@RainbowBrony555 changed it "the last countries i visited were hot and sweaty" what do u think?

Answer 28

How about, "I was astonished at the white, fluffy snowflakes that were falling from the sky and all around me. I wasn’t expecting it to snow since it was summer in the last countries I visited during my tour."

Answer 29

yes now its easy to read

Answer 30

I was really amazed that there were snowflakes falling from the sky. I wasn’t expecting it to snow since the last countries I visited were hot and sweaty. Snowflakes danced around me before falling to the ground.

Answer 31

what do u think?

Answer 32

I think it works perfectly.

Answer 33

ok

Answer 34

are u correcting on the same document ? @Octoknightx

Answer 35

Yes I am.

Answer 36

ok thanks

Answer 37

So you want "I was really amazed that there were snowflakes falling from the sky. I wasn���������������������������t expecting it to snow since the last countries I visited were hot and sweaty. Snowflakes danced around me before falling to the ground."

Answer 38

wow...

Answer 39

yes thats really nice :)

Answer 40

The question marks though...

Answer 41

we will add question marks or no?

Answer 42

I meant these: ���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������

Answer 43

Those are annoying c:

Answer 44

Oh, I feel like it should be this: It was 12 A.M. when I stepped out of the airplane. I was really amazed that there were snowflakes falling from the sky. Snowflakes danced around me before falling to the ground. I wasn't expecting it to snow since the last countries I visited were hot and sweaty.

Answer 45

Because having the last sentence being about how the snow fell doesn't match with the last countries being hot.

Answer 46

oh right !

Answer 47

Now, the second paragraph is a bit messy. "Walking in Seoul's main shopping and tourism districts Myeongdong Street there I discovered how Korean people look like I was surprised that all of them looked the same."

Answer 48

really why?

Answer 49

You have a fragment at the beginning, then Myeongdong Street, and then two more sentences all in one. Perhaps you meant, "Walking in Seoul's main shopping and tourism district, Myeongdong Street, I discovered how Korean people look like. I was surprised that all of them looked the same."

Answer 50

oh ok... I'm not really good in sentence fluency

Answer 51

@Octoknightx did u finish? where are u now?

Answer 52

@Octoknightx

Answer 53

I'm at "The taxi guy started to mumble in Korean."

Answer 54

oh ok

Answer 55

thanks for your help :)

Answer 56

No problem

Answer 57

tell me when u finish ok @Octoknightx

Answer 58

I will. I'm almost there.

Answer 59

yay! im so happy to read it again!

Answer 60

Last two paragraphs.

Answer 61

are there lots of errors and grammar mistakes?

Answer 62

Yes, many. There are issues I'm having with the Korean portions since I can't judge the grammar of it.

Answer 63

I have an issue with this sentence in the second to last paragraph: As he was driving I started to ask him “you what do in weekends” . Does this quote have bad grammar on purpose?

Answer 64

yes it has bad grammar on purpose since the korean guy doesn't know how to talk english

Answer 65

But, it's supposed to be you talking to him. So is it that you are talking like that so he can understand?

Answer 66

yes im talking to him in a forced english accent so he can understand.

Answer 67

Oh, ok.

Answer 68

yup :)

Answer 69

Last paragraph...the amount of corrections is crazy. Good thing you asked for help :D

Answer 70

omg i don't know how to thank you if you didn't help me i could've failed :( really thanks a lot thanks alotttttttttttt

Answer 71

It's no problem. Glad to help.

Answer 72

Is this story real or from your mind?

Answer 73

from my mind :) overall how was the story ?

Answer 74

It's good for something that comes from your mind. I couldn't have written something this good. I don't really have an imagination when it comes to writing :c

Answer 75

hahaha you know why it wasn't that creative because i only had 4 days to write it tmw i have to submit it :0

Answer 76

:c

Answer 77

:(

Answer 78

did u finish ?

Answer 79

Yeah, I just did. There may be minor issues with the Korean parts, but everything else should be good.

Answer 80

do i need to fix them?

Answer 81

I don't think so.

Answer 82

Well, here it is.

Answer 83

thanks alotttttttt i just read it its much better than before thanks again for spending you time working on my story.

Answer 84

:D Good luck! Hope you get an A :D!

Answer 85

@Octoknightx can u help me edit my introduction of my argumentative essay