Question

A short poem thing aha~

Answer 1

Its still in the process of being written and edited (just btw)

Answer 2

For those who think life is a breeze, their minds are at ease. But for those alone and dreading to go home, who need a shoulder to lean on, someone too depend upon. For those who haven't experienced the pain of life but soon will be the ones picking up the knife. For those who have been addicted to their own self destruction and feel an oncoming eruption. Know that one day, you will meet someone one, see an act and it could bring you back from that dark hole you were trapped in. Maybe when you you are happy once again that will end, and you will crash again. But take that chance and do this dance they call it life.
~Stay strong

Answer 3

1st poem ive ever made, and I just made it like right now, so ik it needs work so constructive criticism please <3

Answer 4

it's beautiful.

Answer 5

Thank you :)

Answer 6

No problem.

Answer 7

without even reading it my first suggestion is to break it up into lines. Very rarely you will see a poem in the form of a paragraph. Typically poems written as paragraphs are used to make a point. So there typically has to be a reason.

okay so now after reading it.

one thing you need to fix is the rhyme scheme. It needs to be more consistent. So either have some rhyming or dont. when you say "Know that you will meet someone one," you can take out the one. It doesnt really make sense to have it there. You also say you twice. idk if that was on purpose or not. If an accident just take it out. If on purpose i suggest bolding the second one (i know you cant on here), or italicizing it, maybe capitalize it. Do something that makes it stand out to show more of an emphasis on the word and show that its meant to be there.

this is a wonderful poem the meaning is often over done but thats okay. This is a great start and you have a wonderful voice.

Always remember poetry is about the author so if you think its perfect than its perfect and the world is either being rude or giving suggestions.

These are suggestions so use them if you like if not i wish the best. But i hope this helps with either this or future writings or whatever

Answer 8

Thanks, I will be revising it later and using your suggestions so thanks a lot!!!!!! @ispike