Question

criticism? also if i tagged you and you dont want me to just comment. thanks guys :)

Answer 1

at night
she thinks of all the things
you ever said

the sweet things
the hateful things

all she ever wanted
was to be loved

at night
she wonders
if what you said was true

if you really cared for her
if you really loved her
she honestly thought it was truth

but shes grown
older
and stronger
and wiser

now she asks
if you really meant your words
why had you broken her into pieces

at night
she thinks of the times you spent together
wondering if you ever do too

but she cant help but question
how much of it was real

at night
she wonders if you know
just how much it haunts her

you probably thought she would forget
and she wishes she could

but some things
are just unforgettable

at night
she doubts herself

maybe he didn't mean it
maybe it was my fault
maybe I'm just crazy

do you even care
or is this what you wanted

at night
she feels your distance

and as much as she should hate you
she just wants you by her side

at night
she realizes she gave you everything
and you just kept asking for more

she sees that you never loved her
just the idea that someone would’ve done anything for you

but you took advantage of it

at night
years later
she’s doing better

or at least she’d like to be
wanting to be better without you

she still hopes
you'll realize how deeply she did love you

but she wont think of you anymore
in moments of
weakness
or triumph

and then when you realize
your biggest mistake
it’ll be too late

and she’ll be happier without you
even at night

Answer 2

@redeemed1312 @ispike @PoetryPrincess @leahhhmorgannn @k_lynn @KyoshiKitty @horsegirl27 @demonchild99 @geneticrockhopper247 @77777jeannie77777 @KyanTheDoodle @jerael123456 @DatChinookGuy @~*Ashtyn*~

Answer 3

its a very good poem and very well written i really like the way you spaced it. However, this is a very tricky subject. When ever talking about love or breaking up or anything to do with that there is a lot of competition. What i mean by this is often i find that peoples poems are all very similar to the point where the reader feels like theyve read it before. This is something i feel like I've read a thousand times. When writing about this subject you need to say what your saying and what everyone else is saying but make it unique from everyone else.

You are a very good writer and this may not be may favorite of your poems but I'm just one person and poetry is about you so if you think its perfect than its perfect

Answer 4

Very good point @ispike but @jessmitz I LOVE it! :)

Answer 5

@jessmitz I wish I could PM you lol

Answer 6

@~*Ashtyn*~ i changed it. go for it

Answer 7

This is a very nice writing style, however, a lot of poems have a similar subject to this one. It seems a bit generic by now. If it were written about something else, it would be flawless. Good poem nonetheless.

Answer 8

I agree with @ispike and @KyanTheDoodle. Relationship poems are a bit overdone. Regardless, this is a very well written one, so for the writing style, very well done. Perhaps you could branch out your content a little more? What is it that makes this story unique? No one's story or experience is exactly the same; you just need to find what makes it different.