Question

someone correct my intro of my argumentative essay.

Answer 1

@undeadknight26

Answer 2

What is the word count for your essay?

Answer 3

I think your introduction sounds very good, and definitely fluently written.

Answer 4

it can be 3 to 5 pages i need help in my introduction can u please help i began with it

Answer 5

@Sepeario

Answer 6

One of the reasons that it makes us feel lonelier is that it “creates a bubble that keeps you isolated from real human contact and real human interaction”(3). Thus it reduces the quality of face-to-face communication. Whenever people ignore their feeling of loneliness it becomes more painful they decide to social network to break the pain of loneliness

Answer 7

then i don't know how to continue can u please help?

Answer 8

From my point of view, i have no idea what you are talking about if i was just to read your introduction. If i was you i would not start off with a pronoun, instead use a noun. after the word painful add a comma and the word so, decide to USE social networkING. and lastly you only have 2 subtopics you are writing about. If you could come up with one more, and since it is an argumentative essy, it should be a positive topic. If you need more help let me know!

Answer 9

in our argumentative essay we have to be on one side and im on that technology makes us feel lonley

Answer 10

which is the negative side so can u please help me writing in the intro that im on the side that technology makes us feel lonely ? @16shuston

Answer 11

@Octoknightx please help me

Answer 12

Fixed your grammar errors and changed some sentences to make some more sense.

Answer 13

One of the reasons that it makes us feel lonelier is that it “creates a bubble that keeps you isolated from real human contact and real human interaction”(3). Thus it reduces the quality of face-to-face communication. Whenever people ignore their feeling of loneliness it becomes more painful they decide social networking to break the pain of loneliness

Answer 14

@Octoknightx

Answer 15

i don't know what to write i have to add 10 more sentences can u please help me i don't know what to add

Answer 16

Do quotes count as sentences? If so, you could just add some quotes to support your claim.

Answer 17

yes they count

Answer 18

can u please help me doing that please

Answer 19

i have to add 10 more sentences not only quotes

Answer 20

Is your argument that technology is all bad or is it just that it makes us lonely. If you are allowed to compliment technology, then you could expand on how we use technology everyday. You could also expand on the counterclaim (that technology does not make us lonely). Something along the lines of:

Without a doubt, technology certainly is a marvelous thing. Technology has greatly improved our lives. (And on from there)

Then for the counterclaim you can say something like:

However, there are those that are quick to believe that technology does not cause negative effects. Certainly, technology makes it easier to communicate with each other, but we have taken this for granted. Because it is so easy to communicate with one another, we don't take the time to realize how important every second we spend together is. (There is a lot of potential for growth here)

Just some ideas

Answer 21

that technology makes us lonely

Answer 22

@Octoknightx

Answer 23

how can i add the counterclaim

Answer 24

i want to add to this : One of the reasons that it makes us feel lonelier is that it “creates a bubble that keeps you isolated from real human contact and real human interaction”(3). Thus it reduces the quality of face-to-face communication. Whenever people ignore their feeling of loneliness it becomes more painful they decide social networking to break the pain of loneliness

Answer 25

i don't want to add counterclaims here

Answer 26

Added it to the end.

Answer 27

One of the reasons that it makes us feel lonelier is that it “creates a bubble that keeps you isolated from real human contact and real human interaction”(3). Thus it reduces the quality of face-to-face communication. Whenever people ignore their feeling of loneliness it becomes more painful they decide social networking to break the pain of loneliness. there’s something intangibly real and valuable about talking with someone face to face However, there are those that are quick to believe that technology does not cause negative effects. Certainly, technology makes it easier to communicate with each other, but we have taken this for granted. Because it is so easy to communicate with one another, we don't take the time to realize how important every second we spend together is. The fact remains that it is causing ourselves to spread ourselves too thin, as well as slowly ruining the quality of social interaction that we all need as human beings.

Answer 28

can you correct that please

Answer 29

i mean the one u added it this is in the body

Answer 30

i want u to check for me this paragraph and add things please @Octoknightx

Answer 31

cause this is the beginning of the body

Answer 32

One of the reasons that it makes us feel lonelier is that it “creates a bubble that keeps you isolated from real human contact and real human interaction”(3). Thus it reduces the quality of face-to-face communication. Whenever people ignore their feeling of loneliness it becomes more painful they decide social networking to break the pain of loneliness. there’s something intangibly real and valuable about talking with someone face to face social networking sites are slowly destroying the importance and meaningfulness of conversations that we have with people, thus, making us feel more detached and isolated in today’s society. Instead of spending time with someone, we prefer calling and texting them instead because we think that it is more convenient, efficient, and only needs little effort.
However, there are those that are quick to believe that technology does not cause negative effects. Certainly, technology makes it easier to communicate with each other, but we have taken this for granted. Because it is so easy to communicate with one another, we don't take the time to realize how important every second we spend together is. The fact remains that it is causing ourselves to spread ourselves too thin, as well as slowly ruining the quality of social interaction that we all need as human beings.

Answer 33

i mean this

Answer 34

So, you just want me to remove what I added since it's for the body and correct this?

"One of the reasons that it makes us feel lonelier is that it “creates a bubble that keeps you isolated from real human contact and real human interaction”(3). Thus it reduces the quality of face-to-face communication. Whenever people ignore their feeling of loneliness it becomes more painful they decide social networking to break the pain of loneliness. there’s something intangibly real and valuable about talking with someone face to face However, there are those that are quick to believe that technology does not cause negative effects. Certainly, technology makes it easier to communicate with each other, but we have taken this for granted. Because it is so easy to communicate with one another, we don't take the time to realize how important every second we spend together is. The fact remains that it is causing ourselves to spread ourselves too thin, as well as slowly ruining the quality of social interaction that we all need as human beings"

Answer 35

ill send u the document

Answer 36

can you correct it

Answer 37

@Octoknightx

Answer 38

Sorry, Openstudy keeps freezing on me for some reason.

Answer 39

Do you need to use transitions in your paragraphs or is it fine without it?

Answer 40

what do u mean by transitions

Answer 41

Like words that you put at the beginning of a paragraph like "first", "ultimately", "consequently", etc.

Answer 42

yes i have to use them

Answer 43

@Octoknightx will u correct the essay?

Answer 44

Yes

Answer 45

Did my best to make it work.

Answer 46

omg thanks a lot for helping

Answer 47

@Octoknightx

Answer 48

can u plz rephrase this for me sorry for asking a lot

Answer 49

it does not really build real and strong relationships. We get a different view of people if we only meet them online instead of meeting them personally. For instance, if we meet people online, we get so comfortable talking to them in that manner. But when we finally get to see them in person, we often get disappointed and feel uncomfortable because we are not used to talking to them face-to-face.

Answer 50

@Octoknightx

Answer 51

Technology does not build real and strong relationships. We get a different view of people if we only meet them online instead of meeting them personally. For instance, if we meet people online, we become comfortable communicating to them in that manner. However, when we finally meet them in person, we are often disappointed and feel uncomfortable because we are not used to talking to them face-to-face.

Wasn't that much to change here.

Answer 52

oh ok thanks

Answer 53

@Octoknightx

Answer 54

can u plz fix my essay

Answer 55

@Octoknightx

Answer 56

@sanra123

Answer 57

thanks aloooottttt

Answer 58

@Octoknightx

Answer 59

@Octoknightx can u plz fix this paragraph

Answer 60

Technology is extremely addictive in this generation, especially for young adults. Since young adults are so susceptible to things that can be addictive, it’s obvious that online relationships can harm their social skills and life. They will begin to ignore everything around them including the following: family members, friends, responsibilities, and basic needs in everyday life. Families, friendships, and relationships can become a disaster due to technology overrunning the world. This addiction can develop in the young adult losing the relationships they have in front of them, making them lonelier than ever. They may not even realize the harm that technology can place upon their daily lives, teens may think that they are less lonely with the company of their new online friends. Yet, when it all comes down, the only ones left for them are the people “in real”.

Answer 61

@Octoknightx

Answer 62

can u please rephrase it and make it more understandable that tech makes us lonelier cause in this paragraph i can't feel it talks about that it makes us lonelier and i have to make it longer

Answer 63

@Octoknightx

Answer 64

Technology is extremely addictive in this generation, especially for young adults. Since young adults are so susceptible to things that can be addictive, it’s obvious that online relationships can harm their social skills in life. They will begin to ignore everything around them. This includes friends, family, responsibilities, and basic needs in everyday life. Their relationships with friends and family can become a disaster due to technology overrunning their world. This addiction can develop in the young adult causing more consequences. They can lose even more of the relationships they have. This can make them even lonelier than ever. They may not have even realized the harm that technology has placed upon their daily lives. Teens may think that they are less lonely with the company of their new online friends. Yet, in the end, the only ones left for them are the people in real life.

Did what I could to make it a bit longer. I'm not sure how long you need it to be.

Answer 65

Technology is extremely addictive in this generation, especially for young adults. Since young adults are so susceptible to things that can be addictive, it’s obvious that online relationships can harm their social skills and life. “They will begin to ignore everything around them including the following: family members, friends, responsibilities, and basic needs in everyday life”(4). Families, friendships, and relationships can become a disaster due to technology overrunning the world. That shuts us from the people around us. This addiction can develop in the young adult losing the relationships they have in front of them, making them lonelier than ever. “According to Klein 2014, people spend about 100-200 minutes per day using the Internet and 30-90 minutes per day using social networks.” (17). Thus, if they only knew how to balance their time, then they would not feel so abandoned and alone. “Balancing our time will make us feel more productive and alive, compared to people who use devices all day long, who are totally escaping the real world”(28) They may not even realize the harm that technology can place upon their daily lives. Teens may think that they are less lonely with the company of their new online friends. . Yet, when it all comes down, the only ones left for them are the people “in real”.

Answer 66

@Octoknightx i made it longer can u check my punctuation and grammer

Answer 67

and the arrangement of sentences

Answer 68

@Octoknightx

Answer 69

Yeah, lemme see what I can do.

Answer 70

OK THANK YOU

Answer 71

Technology is extremely addictive in this generation, especially for young adults. Since young adults are so susceptible to things that can be addictive, it’s obvious that online relationships can harm their social skills in life. “They will begin to ignore everything around them including the following: family members, friends, responsibilities, and basic needs in everyday life” (4). Their relationships with friends and family can become a disaster due to technology overrunning their world. It keeps us from the people around us. This addiction can develop in the young adult causing more consequences. They can lose even more of the relationships they have. This can make them even lonelier than ever. “According to Klein 2014, people spend about 100-200 minutes per day using the Internet and 30-90 minutes per day using social networks.” (17). Thus, if they only knew how to balance their time, they would not feel so abandoned and alone. “Balancing our time will make us feel more productive and alive, compared to people who use devices all day long, who are totally escaping the real world.” (28) They may not have even realized the harm that technology has placed upon their daily lives. Teens may think that they are less lonely with the company of their new online friends. Yet, in the end, the only ones left for them are the people in real life.

I think that works.

Answer 72

thanks a lot i have a small problem i can't find another thing to write about

Answer 73

i have to write another paragragh

Answer 74

1 more paragraph and a conclusion

Answer 75

You can make the last body paragraph about a solution to the problem.

Answer 76

can u help me

Answer 77

look heres my essay

Answer 78

@Octoknightx

Answer 79

Well do you want to make your last body paragraph about a solution or do you some other idea? I'm not even sure what a solution would be though. How long does the paragraph have to be?

Answer 80

it has to be about 15 lines

Answer 81

but in an argumentative essay is it a must to come up with a solution

Answer 82

Maybe you should make the solution more of a self-control thing or that the parents should take control of the time their kids spend with technology. And if you end up with not enough sentences, you can always just split most sentences in half or make a bunch of redundant sentences that don't really serve a purpose but to fill the paragraph.

So like if you say, "Teens should be able to have self-control when it comes to technology, and parents should monitor their child's habits" you could instead make it longer by saying, "Teens should have self-control. When it comes to technology, they should be able to limit their time with it. Parents are also an important part of this problem. Parents should take the time to monitor how long their children use technology. They should intervene if they see any negative effects of technology occurring within their children." That's just a small example of how to make a paragraph from just one sentence.

Answer 83

oh wow can i make it longer and correct it for me thanks alootttttt

Answer 84

@Octoknightx

Answer 85

can u correct it

Answer 86

Teens should have self-control. When it comes to technology, they should be able to limit their time with it. With time they would feel they became lonely and start to have less confidence and they would face lots of problems in life in which it will be hard for them to solve. Parents are also an important part of this problem. Parents should take the time to monitor how long their children use technology. They should intervene if they see any negative effects of technology occurring within their children. If they see this negative energy spreading in the house it all goes back to technology since the whole time the person is using it is the only reason that its spreading words such as “ I don’t have any friends” “I’m shy to talk to my friend” this is what technology causes the person to be like. In addition technology can reflect the persons personality toward life.