Question

i finished writing my argumentative essay but then the paragraph before the last the paragraph its solutions to my problem and the teacher didn't like the fact but she was like i can add the solutions in between my body paragraphs and the before the last paragraph i have to do another main point can u help me

Answer 1

@SamsungFanBoy

Answer 2

@Here_to_Help15

Answer 3

can u please help me

Answer 4

@Octoknightx

Answer 5

@saifoo.khan

Answer 6

Could you just switch the solution paragraph with some other paragraph that would be better at the end, or does your teacher want a completely new paragraph?

Answer 7

she wants a completely new paragraph @Octoknightx

Answer 8

omg yay your here

Answer 9

@Octoknightx can u help me now writing a new paragraph with a new idea

Answer 10

and she told me to restate my thesis in my conclution

Answer 11

and in the conclution i have to write a strong belief in the end

Answer 12

@Octoknightx

Answer 13

i need it in 15 minutes

Answer 14

can we do it in 15 minutes

Answer 15

@Octoknightx

Answer 16

I came up with no ideas for a new paragraph. A conclusion is easy to fix, but writing a new paragraph...

Answer 17

ok can u fix my conclution

Answer 18

What do you think your thesis is? Do you think it is that we should be able to balance technology or is it that technology is harmful?

Answer 19

no my whole essay is about that technology makes us feel lonelier

Answer 20

and i think my intro doesn't show that i will be talking about this

Answer 21

cause i think i have to talk straight into the main point that its caucuses to feel lonely

Answer 22

Yeah, it does look like the introduction needs a clear thesis.

Answer 23

yes i know can u help me with that

Answer 24

Does the introduction need to be as long as it is? I mean your introduction contains a lot of supporting evidence that could be used to make another paragraph and you could just make your introduction a simple one.

Answer 25

it has to be a little long but then she told me to contain the main points of what u will talk in each paragraph

Answer 26

So could it be like this:
An interesting start to bring the reader in. It could be a question like, "Do you know what it means to truly be lonely?" or something like that. Then you explain what you mean by that question and branch off into stating your main points (technology makes us feel lonely, it destroys relationships, and it's addictive). Then you state your thesis. It could be something like "Technology has not increased the quality of communication as many people are quick to believe; rather, it has caused it to decline." (something fancy).

Would that be long enough? I could make an example of what I mean if you want.

Answer 27

yes but we ant allowed to write questions

Answer 28

are not

Answer 29

we have to begin with technology or anything ...

Answer 30

Well if you can't use questions then some surprising statement would work. I just can't think of one. It would have to be one that would shock someone; it has to make them think. Like if you said, "Technology sucks!" then that would work...except we don't want to say that in this essay.

Answer 31

i know... i just want to show that im talking about technology makings feel lonelier

Answer 32

ill only change the beginning showing that ill be talking about technolgy and how it makes us feel lonelier

Answer 33

we won't change all the intro

Answer 34

So, right now the only thing I have in my head for a good statement is something like, "Only you can stop virtual lonesome disorder." I guess it works. Might be able to branch out from there.

Answer 35

ok how can i make it as an intro

Answer 36

i just want help in telling the audience that ill be talking about this topic

Answer 37

@Octoknightx what do i think i can do

Answer 38

Well, I'm trying to see what happens when I add the statement. It seems to work. I just have a problem with finding a place to add the main points and thesis.

Answer 39

at the beginning

Answer 40

maybe after it made global communication...

Answer 41

Wouldn't the thesis statement need to be at the end? That's where it's usually supposed to go.

Answer 42

no thesis has to be in the beginning of the intro

Answer 43

Ok but now I have a problem. I stated the main points like this: "Technology makes us feel lonely, it destroys relationships, and it’s addictive." Now that actually looks like a thesis statement as well. Would you consider that a thesis?

Answer 44

no a thesis statement sums up what u are going to talk about ...such as nowadays technology has been so addictive that made us feel lonlier

Answer 45

the main point are in-between the introduction

Answer 46

and the first thing we write in this essay is thee thesis statement then explain it then the main ideas of the paragraph

Answer 47

Ok, well let me show you what I have so far.

Answer 48

the conclusion?

Answer 49

Oh, that's just the intro. I needed a thesis to do the conclusion so the intro has to be first. Still need to come up with a good thesis.

Answer 50

its a really good thesis

Answer 51

what do u think ? i think its better than before

Answer 52

it made it clearer than before

Answer 53

I just realized that I already came up with a thesis before. "Technology has not increased the quality of communication as many people are quick to believe; rather, it has caused it to decline."

Answer 54

ohhh rightttt u can add it if u want

Answer 55

Where do you think it best fits?

Answer 56

maybe after global communication..

Answer 57

yes very nice thank you now can we work on the conclusion

Answer 58

@Octoknightx

Answer 59

Yeah

Answer 60

Conclude by restating the claim and summarizing your supporting evidence, and commenting on the rebuttals.

Answer 61

for conclusion

Answer 62

Ok....that should be easy. Give me a minute and I'll send an example.

Answer 63

ok

Answer 64

Very basic conclusion. I didn't really do much other than restate the same thing in the beginning, but it looks alright.

Answer 65

commenting on the rebuttals.

Answer 66

"Technology has not increased the quality of communication as others are quick to believe, but has caused the quality of communication to decline." The "as others are quick to believe".

Answer 67

oh ok thanks a lot for your help but i thought the teacher told me not to copy paste what wrote in the into but to rephrase it

Answer 68

intro

Answer 69

Ok...how about "In conclusion, many others are quick to believe that technology has improved the quality of communication; however, it is clear that technology has not improved the quality of communication but has caused it to decline."

Answer 70

ok thanks for helping me :)

Answer 71

@Octoknightx

Answer 72

@Octoknightx i need help they gave me lots of feedbacks i have to fix

Answer 73

they told me i have to define vld cause they first have to know what is it ?

Answer 74

and they told me to add my thesis at the beginning of the paragraph

Answer 75

Ok...well for the VLD just replace it with Virtual Lonesome Disorder.

Answer 76

@Octoknightx they told me to add a strong belief at the end of my conclusion

Answer 77

Something like "The fact is, technology has caused us to feel lonelier than we ever were" would work?