could someone help me revise my story i wrote

Question

anonymous · Answer

attachment

anonymous · Answer

Firstly, I'd like to ask what grade you are in so I can get an idea of what your teacher expects from you.

anonymous · Answer

There are quite a few grammatical errors here; Could you possibly try to revise it yourself in any way you can before you put it up here?

anonymous · Answer

10th

anonymous · Answer

Alright. Do you have an idea of what you need to revise? If not I'll help with that.

anonymous · Answer

For starters you need to capitalize your I's. For example, "One day i was warming up" should be "One day I was warming up" (Left out the rest of the sentence for efficiency's sake)

anonymous · Answer

You also need to work on when you're switching from scene to scene.

anonymous · Answer

ya i did some work to it and it helped a lot thank you

anonymous · Answer

Do you need some help revising the work you did to it?