Question

could someone help me revise my story i wrote

Answer 1

Firstly, I'd like to ask what grade you are in so I can get an idea of what your teacher expects from you.

Answer 2

There are quite a few grammatical errors here; Could you possibly try to revise it yourself in any way you can before you put it up here?

Answer 3

10th

Answer 4

Alright. Do you have an idea of what you need to revise? If not I'll help with that.

Answer 5

For starters you need to capitalize your I's. For example, "One day i was warming up" should be "One day I was warming up" (Left out the rest of the sentence for efficiency's sake)

Answer 6

You also need to work on when you're switching from scene to scene.

Answer 7

ya i did some work to it and it helped a lot thank you

Answer 8

Do you need some help revising the work you did to it?