Question

Writing a new song with my band, and I need some feedback on the start of the song. It is not done yet, and this is only what I have so far.

Answer 1

Nothing ever stops the talks,
or the pain and the loss,
trying to break the lock,
regardless of the cost,
but I've already lost,
traded my heat for frost,
to the bin I've been tossed,
and left slow to react,
now I know it's a fact,
it's the skills I lacked.

Answer 2

sounds good

Answer 3

Updated Verse:

Nothing ever stops the talks,
or the pain and the loss,
trying to break the lock,
regardless of the cost,
but I've already lost,
traded my heat for frost,
to the bin I've been tossed,
and left slow to react,
now I know it's a fact,
it's the skills I lacked,
my potential's been tapped,
but I'm still getting lapped,
uncharted land is mapped,
my self-control has snapped,
feeling like an outcast,
it's like my time has past.

Answer 4

Yes, it is a rap.

Answer 5

Sounds really good

Answer 6

sounds awesome!

Answer 7

@Zyi6

Answer 8

dude thats beast

Answer 9

ima rapper too and i think thats pretty good

Answer 10

its like suppa awsome

Answer 11

@javalos01 PM me for a collab bro.

Answer 12

Looks really good.

Answer 13

thats good and i would know im a song writer too that good keep it up

Answer 14

u have talent

Answer 15

Why thank you @kayli74 ...

Answer 16

your welcome