Question

Can someone plz help me with my essay

Answer 1

I am writing essay on should smoking cigarettes be made illegal in canada

Answer 2

Introduction
Smoking tobacco cigarettes be made illegal in Canada and  around 5 million people die a year from smoking in the world 22.3 percent of them are male, 17.4 percent of them are female and 23 percent of them are teenagers. Everyone knows that smoking cigarettes bad and also knows that smoking cigarettes increases our chance of lung cancer and other fatal illnesses but they never stop smoking.
 The fact that smoking has not been made illegal yet is mind blowing. Smoking is a main cause of many deaths across Canada. The simple ban of smoking in public places is not a good enough solution to the problem. Making smoking illegal is the right choice because, it causes lots of pollution, cigarettes are a waste of money and also it would help protect Canada’s youth from being affected by smoking.
 

Answer 3

This is my introduction paragraph

Answer 4

@AbdullahM

Answer 5

@aryandecoolest

Answer 6

@bestbruno

Answer 7

@CloverRacer

Answer 8

@jkm7and3

Answer 9

@Jhannybean

Answer 10

@Loser66

Answer 11

@AaliyahThacker3

Answer 12

@toxicsugar22

Answer 13

@HelloKitty17

Answer 14

@Shalante

Answer 15

@Jhannybean is it a good introduction paragraph or what

Answer 16

Its a little too long, and I would say its preferable to keep your introduction 1 paragraph long.

Answer 17

You have `smoking` in every single sentence almost, it sounds redundant.

Answer 18

oh ok so what can i do to make it better

Answer 19

@nudeoua

Answer 20

@Jhannybean i am looking for you advice

Answer 21

huh??

Answer 22

are you guys still there or fell in sleep

Answer 23

I would also get rid of mind blowing, it sounds very informal compared to the rest of the essay