I need some back-up please! I will fan! :)

(first verse)
I shouldn't be upset,
I shouldn't let it get to me,
I shouldn't feel this regret,
Burning in my soul------------

(chorus)
Oh! I shouldn't want to be with you,
Cuz then none of my dreams would come true,
I would be in a place of hell,
sitting there crying in my shell,
wishing there was a way out,
a way out....

I'm still working on verse two, but let me know what you think! And be honest!! :)

Question

I need some back-up please! I will fan! :)

(first verse)
I shouldn't be upset,
I shouldn't let it get to me,
I shouldn't feel this regret,
Burning in my soul------------>

(chorus)
Oh! I shouldn't want to be with you, 
Cuz then none of my dreams would come true,
I would be in a place of hell, 
sitting there crying in my shell,
wishing there was a way out,
a way out....

I'm still working on verse two, but let me know what you think! And be honest!! :)

anonymous · Answer

You need to show  why you cant be with whom and what makes you want to...
other than that the emotion seems to be doing fine .

anonymous · Answer

thanks

anonymous · Answer

I think that what you have so far is good but like @Kreayhea_  said give us some more details. Also put as much emotion as possible into it. Is it a slower song or a faster song?

anonymous · Answer

the begining is slow and the chorus is faster