Question

can someone plz help me fix this sentence
Looking at the modern day society, from outside it is easy to misread that the modern day society is similar to the society described in Jackson’s story.

Answer 1

@Koikkara

Answer 2

@Koikkara

Answer 3

okay i can't find anyother way to say the modern day society.

Answer 4

what do u mean fix? punctuation?

Answer 5

Modern society, or modernity are another terms for " the modern day society."

Answer 6

the sentence sounds weird. and if there are any punctuation error. Also, is it okay to post the paragraph I have along with this sentence here?

Answer 7

yes u need to provide all info

Answer 8

u should add the--from the outside

Answer 9

here, Fix sentece means you have to correct grammar mistakes, spelling mistakes and misused words, with unmatched accuracy. @katie00

Answer 10

@Koikkara yes, just proof read it plz. I have got tutor help to but they seem to care less.

Answer 11

that is a good paragraph just some mechanical issues commas run on sentences etc

Answer 12

okay where? help me out here. I know there are but need help with fixing it.

Answer 13

@FibonacciChick666

Answer 14

can u help me while she comes?

Answer 15

yes

Answer 16

it shows shes on here u can type it in there and it will tell you whats wrong

Answer 17

okay I am attaching the file here. @FibonacciChick666

Answer 18

hi! :)

Answer 19

theres nothing on there that shows edit it i dont want to mess it up

Answer 20

did u save the file?

Answer 21

on the top it should say enable editing.

Answer 22

no i just look at it do u want me to save it?

Answer 23

oh good shes here

Answer 24

yes, so u can edit it. or put suggestions on the one i have erros, punctuation mistake etc.

Answer 25

yes, @FibonacciChick666 plz help me out here.

Answer 26

@FibonacciChick666 can u help her with this? she seems to be a good writer with good grammar?

Answer 27

@FibonacciChick666 and thanks @narissa

Answer 28

so, here are my comments so far

Answer 29

ur welcome i like to be seeing people doing their homework and you did a good job some people on here are rude but @FibonacciChick666 she is great and makes you understand especially in math and not witrh an attitude

Answer 30

omg i am literary crying. u guys do not know how much this means to me :***( tysm for helping me i love ur suggestions will edit it. also I have another paragrpah that I payed for tutring and no one helped me.

Answer 31

thanks narissa, I appreciate that. And here, I don't really know how to tutor it, I'm just proof reading

Answer 32

There are more things I would do to that paragraph, but that is just my first like 5 minutes.

Answer 33

Oh wow! I'm sorry to hear that I try my best but when I found her and was sooo glad shes taught me things the last couple days.

Answer 34

no u did a better job than the tutor that i went to in clg they are gettign paid for tutoring us and they messued up my whole paper.

Answer 35

\(\color{blue}{\huge\tt{Nice~}}\) \(\huge\mathcal{to~meet~}\) \(\color{red}{\huge\tt{You~}}\) \(\huge\mathcal{@}\) \(\color{red}{\huge\tt{Open~Study~!}}\) @katie00

Answer 36

@FibonacciChick666 i am attaching another file.

Answer 37

Thank you sooo much @FibonacciChick666 it feels good to of helped someone eventhough i didnt its like I referred you

Answer 38

@FibonacciChick666

Answer 39

Final thoughts

Answer 40

It's not letting me open the file u just sent.

Answer 41

Ok, I'm kinda tired, so I am not going to go trough that, but if english is your first language, please read this out loud and see if it makes sense. There are a lot of grammatical errors and the flow just is not there. um, I'm not sure how to tutor this other than to just correct it, but I mean did you use word's spelling and grammar check? That will do a lot of the work for you. I do not mean to be rude. But this is very difficult to read. Can you try to clean it up and I'll look at it tomorrow?

Answer 42

try again

Answer 43

did it work that time?

Answer 44

no still not working. and english is not my first language

Answer 45

try to refresh it

Answer 46

okay thanks am able to open it now! :)

Answer 47

it did not open the first time i refreshed open study and it opened

Answer 48

wait, it's the savagery paragraph. did u recive my other file? the one with symbols and conclusion?

Answer 49

I am sorry my writing sucks i think but i try my best. I will take all the suggestion u made into consideration and edit.

Answer 50

ok, here is my suggestion. Write the paper in your first language to begin

Answer 51

that will help immensely

Answer 52

Right now, it is not coherent. (there is no flow/doesn't make sense) but if you write first in your native language, then translate, it may help.

Answer 53

and my writing in spanish sucks, but that is because it isn't my first language. It takes a while to learn

Answer 54

I will go back and add some transitional words.

Answer 55

Hey why don't you write it all in your first language then go to a translating app and translate it. When is it due?

Answer 56

don't fret. You will get there eventually.

Answer 57

though that would work for the most part, it wouldn't really help you to learn to write in english. However, if this is due tomorrow. Just do that and modify it so you can get a decent grade

Answer 58

What is your first language?

Answer 59

I will not be able to send u I have to finish all the editing today because this paper is due tmr/today here now. But this is my paper after 4-5 tutors who reviewed. I completely wasted my time with them and didn't even learn anything. Thanks for being straightforward and actully telling me what I am bad at it helps a lot.

Answer 60

my first language is punjabi/hindi

Answer 61

sorry if it seems brutal, but yea, that is what I would change it to in order to make at least the lines I changed at a college writing level.

Answer 62

oh jeez, no wonder english is hard. The grammatical structure not to mention the enunciation is so vastly different

Answer 63

no it's okay to be brutal that's how a student learns. also did u get a chance to look at my last two pargrpah because this paper is due tmr.

Answer 64

sorry, but being honest, it would probably take me two hours to edit it and I am really tired. So here is what we are going to do. We are going to take the english you wrote and translate it into hindi, then you are going to read it. See if it makes sense, if it doesn't, correct it in hindi then translate it again to english, read it, and see if it makes sense. Make any corrections you see fit, and that should drastically improve the readability

Answer 65

here is google translate https://translate.google.com/#auto/hi/The%20modern%20day%20culture%20is%20just%20as%20savage%20as%20the%20society%20described%20in%20Jackson ’s%20story.%20“How%20is%20it%20possible%20that%20humans%20killed%20in%20excess%20of%20100%20million%20fellow%20humans%20in%20the%20twentieth%20century%20alone%3F%20Humans%20inflicting%20pain%20of%20such%20magnitude%20on%20one%20another%20is%20beyond%20anything%20you%20can%20imagine”%20(Tolle).%20%20From%20looking%20at%20the%20modern%20day%20society%20from%20outside%20it%20is%20easy%20to%20misread%20that%20the%20modern%20day%20society%20is%20as%20similar%20to%20the%20society%20described%20in%20Jackson’s%20story.%20%20Character%20similar%20to%20Tessie%20Hutchinson%20are%20seen%20everywhere%20in%20the%20twenty-first%20century%20alone.%20The%20killings%20of%20animals%2C%20human%20beings%2C%20and%20the%20world%20itself%20is%20possible%20with%20the%20intellect%20that%20humans%20has%20used.%20Examples%20being%2C%20the%20rebel%20going%20on%20in%20Syria%2C%20the%20Hiroshima%20done%20by%20the%20American%20government%2C%20the%20destructive%20bombings%20such%20as%20the%20nuclear%2C%20bioterrorism%2C%20and%20so%20on%20describes%20the%20modern%20society%20more%20worsen%20compared%20to%20the%20society%20described%20in%20Jackson’s%20story.%20The%20society%20members%20described%20by%20Jackson%20are%20friendly%20with%20each%20other%20when%20the%20ritual%20is%20going%20on%20and%20someone%20from%20the%20crowd%20said%2C%20“Don’t%20be%20nervous%20Jack”%20(Jackson%2C%20142).%20The%20tall%20boy%20from%20the%20crowd%20looked%20nervous%20and%20the%20town%20people%20who%20are%20kindly%20encouraging%20the%20boy%20to%20stay%20calm.%20During%20the%20ritual%2C%20everyone%20are%20friendly%20to%20each%20other%20and%20having%20a%20fun%20time.%20Similarly%2C%20the%20modern%20society%20appears%20advanced%20and%20well%20civilized%20but%20the%20setting%20has%20murdered%20more%20than%20hundred%20million.%20It%20is%20important%20for%20the%20people%20to%20questions%20such%20savagery%20through%20symbols%20provided%20around%20people%20who%20have%20extended%20the%20killings%20at%20a%20grand%20level.

Answer 66

just copy and paste your paper

Answer 67

okay will do! :) also after how many hrs will u be online?

Answer 68

uhm, like minimum of 12 or 13. I have work tomorrow

Answer 69

well, today now

Answer 70

do u live in usa? I do! :) hmm okay.

Answer 71

mhmm, but anyways, good night, and good luck!

Answer 72

okay will see u both later will get back to the editing.

Answer 73

k bye

Answer 74

sorry couldn't be of much more help

Answer 75

@triciaal

Answer 76

I am gonna edit now. so @triciaal plz look at the last file with two para. I am editing what @FibonacciChick666 said! :)

Answer 77

ok

Answer 78

@triciaal

Answer 79

@Photon336

Answer 80

@ChantySquirrel1129**

Answer 81

I see my name.....Yesss? :3

Answer 82

lol

Answer 83

can u help her please!!!! help her

Answer 84

read the stuff she wrote and help her fix it she just edited one

Answer 85

its do tomorrow

Answer 86

ooops lol due

Answer 87

yes, I am editing what @FibonacciChick666 said but she was only able to get to one pargraph. the other two I attached are there are u able to open the file?

Answer 88

@ChantySquirrel1129** ?

Answer 89

Can you post the files? c:

Answer 90

The whole thing? :)

Answer 91

no this is just the last two pargraph of my essay

Answer 92

Now, I only need help reviewing the last tow para