Question

can someone tell me if they like my story?

Answer 1

the story is good if it was a book i would read it

Answer 2

ooh thank youuu :)))

Answer 3

i want to publish it soon.

Answer 4

did u read it to yourself already

Answer 5

yeah i did a couple 100 times

Answer 6

after publishing i want to make a movie but i dont have the money to do so but mybe i can raise funds in like 2018

Answer 7

the book might be in 2016-2017

Answer 8

thats is a good thing make sure when you make the book text me i want to read it first

Answer 9

ahahaha ok :)

Answer 10

lol ight

Answer 11

i havent properly made the ending right but i wanna make it like if they found area 51 and then let out that liquid into hte air as a cure, like a gas.

Answer 12

WOW cool do that

Answer 13

yeah i will soon.

Answer 14

@Nnesha what do you think?

Answer 15

;-; good!!

Answer 16

:)

Answer 17

idk why but
'then' its irritating in this sentence or maybe its just me nvm :D
Kate asked: “Why do you think they are staring at us like that? `Then `Mr. Jacks said, “Kate, look at your arms!”

Answer 18

how people can write that much... ;-; :(

Answer 19

idk lol youre right. maybe it should be like, Mr. Jack Startled screms: "Kate! LOOK AT YOUR ARMS!"

Answer 20

better :) or without caps maybe :P :D

Answer 21

yeah.

Answer 22

good luck!

Answer 23

I don't mean to be cruel, but this is far from having quality for an editorial.
There are grammatical imperfections, inconsice context descriptions and too vague as well.
This looks more like a draft rather than a finished product.

Answer 24

im not remotely done yet. this is just to see if ppl would acually read it.

Answer 25

I would suggest you take on a better introduction, if it is going to be "in media res"; try giving hints of the context in question and try giving a description about the characters a little more detailed so the reader can have a good idea and this will strengthen the quality of any character.
There's nothing wrong in being a little fancy, some strategies make the story a little more lively, this implies writing a little more loose and colourful, which means using methaphors and a change of perspective.

A second read is always good, that helps to reduce the grammatical errors and also correct the sentences to make more sense in the story.
Writing a story also involves researching your main theme, let it be alien life, sci-fi machinery or in this case "radiation".

"in media res" is an interesting way to begin a story, though it always leaves the reader questioning "why?" and "how?" which are questions you don't want to leave afloat for too long. The human attention-span is of about 45 min- 1h and you might want to at least throw a bone to keep the interest going.

Answer 26

Great story (: