Question

I wrote this at 2:00am and wanted to know if it was good?

Answer 1

green furry paws
blue soft skin
everyones afraid - when they crawl in bed
these little things, are misunderstood
people should be afraid of their neighborhood
yellow glowing eyes
purple sharp teeth
nobody can even fall asleep
their too afraid
of this neighborhood
when they should be hiding for their own good
red pools of blood
come join the fun
these forced monsters are hidin' in the woods
lurking around, your neighborhood
these grey people
misunderstood

Answer 2

I love the concept of when you make the rhymes and have the sense of humor but some of the sentences don't quite make sense in my opinion though you did do good on thinking , maybe try writing about monsters coming to haunt you or ghosts saying boo , something that can the reader , to know what you mean by the paragraph , I hope this helps you! good luck!

Answer 3

Also I have noticed that you said "afraid" 3-4 times in the paragraph and want to let you know , its not too bright to repeat the same word almost every sentence in the beginning cause that can confuse and make the listener want to change the channel , try making it seem like you are afraid but how and don't repeat over and over cause that can make a bad rating in the music world , but you could actually repeat like some of these songs but rather not , songs have a life to it , a meaning , a telling a story kind of deal , where it shows how that person feels about something or someone .. good luck , if u are going to post another question under music , please tag me in if you may or if you want , hope this helps:)

Answer 4

Thanks! I was just goofing off and I never knew I could even write! I just wanted to share it with everyone and see if anyone liked it. I will try to revise it and make it better. :)

Answer 5

also, I think I was sorta thinking about how to world is now and days while writing this. Some people want to be different and they "grey people" misunderstood and thought change was bad.

Answer 6

Your so welcome , I think that would be a good paragraph for lyrics and you can maybe start out with something soft or maybe just stand out and start your biggest part , if you need any help , tag me @Frozen15 and ill get to you as soon as possible!

Answer 7

Also I did though like your paragraph @sierralmpala67 , cause it had some creativity , it may not been the best lyrics I have saw but it is still very good in my opinion , you are just a beginner , it doesn't count until you become an actual writer , I hope you get the best of luck on your writing!! please tag me anytime if you need help , I will be there soon as I can and don't forget to write that one you were talking about "grey people" but maybe change the title to something like "A different world" or "The past is in the past" or "From then to now " or "where are we at now"? < just a couple suggestions , you don't have to change the title , I'm just giving you some ideas! I also love that you made it seem like people hated the change from now then from was it was , I love your sense of humor on writing!

Answer 8

please close this and make another post if you need to .. tag me if u want

Answer 9

Please, refer to the following post:
http://openstudy.com/study#/updates/554bb631e4b08c324fbe2a0d

These are lyrics without any musical nomenclature or representation, no rythmical indication or melodic composition, which makes it but a plain draft for lyrics more fit for the writing section.

Answer 10

I don't understand what you are trying to say , this has already been answered and explained

Answer 11

Independent from wether this has been answered or not, posting lyrics without any indication of at least, tempo, time signature, musical form or at the very least the solfeggio to express more detailed representation of the imagined music, becomes but a plain draft for lyrics.
And those do not belong in the music subject but rather in the literature/writing/english sections.

Answer 12

I understand , this should have been close though a day ago cause that's when I responded to this @sierrampala67 next time just put this under writing unless the lyrics are due or related to music :)

Answer 13

They can be related to music as much as desired.
But again, it has to be notated in the correct form in order to be considered lyrics.

Music subject is a little web-coated due to most of the activity being in the other subjects, I read no explaination of the rules nor a link to them in your responses which is why I posted this.
Since Openstudy has become more strict the rules must be applied, am I clear?