Question

Hey Guys! I am really bad at English and I need help with a few things!
I wrote a sort of [intro] paragraph and I need a thesis statement from it.

Answer 1

In the modern day, teens are targeted more than any other age group. Marketing companies tend to believe that teens are uneducated about their purchases, so they advertise in a way that may not always seem right. Sure, some teens may be a little naïve or impulse-driven when it comes to spending, but that doesn’t mean all teens are like that. When advertising to teens, advertisers tend to be more elusive; they want you to want to know more so you bait for the product and then you think you’re too far in and you can’t get out. The Tech industry has targeted teens for those very reasons. They want all of the latest technology. “I’m want to get the new iPhone!” or “Look at these Beats headphones! I want them!” “Oh look- I have money…” BAM! $200 spent on new headphones. The advertisements that I have seen show people buying their kids new video games… and they kids are overweight. And very pale. These kids look happy. Kids may be happy playing video games. Video games aren’t good for you, so advertising for them is really good either.

Answer 2

Well you're paragraph is kind of spread out. It's hard to get what main thing you want the reader to take away. What are you trying to say/prove with this paragraph?

Answer 3

@Natasha18
I was trying to prove whether advertising towards teens is ethical or not. I will try to fix your suggestion. Thanks.

Answer 4

Sure :)