Question

Would someone please proof read my paper? It's on The State of the Union Address. I'm not very confident in my grammar and punctuation.

Answer 1

Hope and Not So Much Change


Recently our Nation (and people with access to YouTube) had the opportunity to listen to President Barrack Obama speak. I personally have always admired his ability to publicly speak in a way that seems so effortless and confident. I have always enjoyed listening to political speeches and debates because I've studied the use of rhetoric for a few years and have done a bit of public speaking myself. As I watched our president speak, I found myself paying more attention to his speaking style and strategy than his expressed concern for the future of our nation (oops). I also found myself wondering if I accidentally zapped myself back in time due to the use of Obama's recycled rhetoric. But Barracks silver fox swagger reminded me that I (sadly) did not experience time travel.

Personally, I felt as if I was watching a compilation of President Obama's previous speeches. All of Obama's speeches seem to follow the same general guideline, which I have mapped out: "First, (blah blah blah)... Second, and I want to make this very clear (insert 3 sentences to appeal to the patriotic spirit). We need reduced/no cost education and affordable Healthcare for all. Finally, I have created more jobs, and I personally signed ___ bills into law (no need to give me a pat on the back, I will do that myself). America is the sing best and most powerful country in the world without a question! (and close with a few pie in the sky aspirations)" We've heard many of the same things from Obama in all of his speeches. With the exception of the statement "I'll be spending the remainder of my term traveling to thank you personally for your support as I finish arranging my list of the greatest golf courses in America." which closed The State of the Union Address. (I may have paraphrased just a touch.)



All (okay, most) sarcasm aside, there were quite a few things I had learned from Obama's speech that don't have to be only applied to politics, but can be of use to a far from politically involved college student like myself. The two (unpolitical) things I took away from Obama's speech was that a little flattery makes a difference, and the past doesn't necessarily define the present. As most of us know, Obama and Congress have had a rocky road throughout his time as president. However, despite the well known disagreements it seemed as if our president decided to leave those disagreements in the past. Obama sang praise to House Speaker John Boehner."Here in America, our success should not depend on an accident of birth, but the strength of our work ethic and the scope of our dreams," Obama said. "That's what drew our forebears here, that's how the son of a barkeep is speaker of the House."Obama described Boehner as an example of the American Dream. This impressed me to try harder to drop my ego and be more humble. because we don't always have to agree with people (or even like them) but we do have to respect everyone (and it wouldn't hurt to butt kiss a little more either).



President Obama's State of the Union Address didn't blow my socks off. His statements have simply been stated before (with the addition of the song of his own praises). Although the redundancy of our presidents speech cued an eye roll or two, I respect his apparent effort to not grind (as many) gears with congress. As a result Preseident Obama's term, there has absolutely been change, and I am hopeful that America will continue to change favorably in a positive direction.

Answer 2

What's up with the (blah blah blah ...) and, (No need to give me a pat on the back, I will do that myself?) Are you writing this here or is this your final document?

Answer 3

1. Is this a formal or informal paper?
2. Is the stuff in parentheses actually going to be put into the paper?
If so, I would actually recommend taking it out, especially if it is a formal paper.
With the exception of the statement "I'll be spending the remainder of my term traveling to thank you personally for your support as I finish arranging my list of the greatest golf courses in America." which closed The State of the Union Address.
^ If the parentheses are not going to be in the final paper, I would definitely reword that and use a direct quote from his speech.
America is the sing\(\bf{le}\) best
*Barack
Also, when referring to him, I would either use Obama or President Obama instead of switching between Obama, President Obama and Barrack.
president\(\bf ; \;however\), despite
humble\(\bf , \;\)because we don't always have to agree with people\(\bf , \;\)but we do have to respect everyone\(\bf .\)
As a result \(\bf of\; President\) Obama's term,
continue to change favorably in a positive direction.
^ I would take out either favorably or positive direction, that sounds redundant when using both.
The better option would probably be
will continue to go in a positive direction.

Answer 4

Also, when referring to him, I would either use Obama or President Obama \(\bf consistently\) instead of switching between Obama, President Obama and Barrack.