my essay topic is
Imagine that you are in a grocery store with only you and your best
friend. The store is suddenly held up by robbers and you and your
friend are caught. The police make a deal with the robbers to let one
of you go. Who should it be? Write and essay about how you would
persuade the police to let you or your friend go

and i need to know is this what i have so far is good

Question

my essay topic is 
Imagine that you are in a grocery store with only you and your best
friend.  The store is suddenly held up by robbers and you and your
friend are caught.  The police make a deal with the robbers to let one
of you go.  Who should it be?  Write and essay about how you would
persuade the police to let you or your friend go

and i need to know is this what i have so far is good

anonymous · Answer

To Begin, If me and my friend was held hostage in a robbery and one of us could leave but it has to be me or my friend i would persuade the police to let me go so i can tell my best friend parents what's going on and also most of important if it was my choice i would let us both go like i don't want to leave my friend behind that would mean i'm not loyal and when you have a best friend that's always there for you you don't turn your back on them thats crazy this is one of the ways i would persuaded the police to let us both go.

Most of all, if i had left and forgot about my best friend what would had happen to him anything could had he might had probably been kidnaped or anything and i would not want that to happen at all and i bet my friend would had said the samething no friend left behind because that's what friends are for though good times and bad times and that's the way i would persuade the police to let us both go

anonymous · Answer

its good

anonymous · Answer

It's good but you need to phrase it properly. Arrange your thoughts. First make a list of all the choices you would make and then put them in the form of an essay describing them each. Also do not use the phrase most of all. Instead you can say and the most important reason is... 

Good luck!

anonymous · Answer

And try to start with an interesting sentence.. for example.. just the thought of being caught in a robbery taking place in a grocery store with my best friend sends chills down my spine and horrifies me but what if it actually happened. 

I would definitely not leave my friend behind and then .... (continue your essay)

anonymous · Answer

The point is great. However, I would change your diction just a tad to fit proper essay etiquette. Maybe be a bit more descriptive. Other than that, it looks great!