Question

ok so here is the first verse to my song "HeartAche." I need some help on the second verse. Feel free to be honest with me I am open to any ideas tell me what you guys think thanks

You said you loved me
he swore he cared
said you were faithful
promised you'd be there
I gave you all my love
Gave you my heart
But you just to go and tear me apart
you gave me joy,then gave me pain.
Now that you are gone all I have is Heart ache
Chorus
Heart ache so much heartache
That's what you gave me when you went away
Heart ache ohhh Heart ache That's all I feel since you went away.

Answer 1

Heyo my dear!
In line two I would consider changing the "he"'s to "you" because that's how you have it in the rest of your song :) Just for consistency. Unless you want to go for the more pointed, that is, directed at someone, feel. Then I would switch ALL the "you"'s to "he"'s

Answer 2

thanks for the advice