Question

MEDAL and FAN. I need help ASAP!
I need to turn the following sentence into a hook for a fantasy flash fiction story:
"As drugged as he was, the blonde haired adolesant heard what was going to happen to his dear family."

Answer 1

@KamiBug

Answer 2

I'm not really good at making 'hooks' and flash fiction. I usually just start in on the story. Here are some of the ideas I've had:
*Describing his appearance in the hook
*Describe the situation he is in
Here is what I have so far in the story:
As drugged as he was, the blonde adolescent heard what was going to happen to his dear family. Regardless of the boy’s condition, he managed to get out of the building keeping him captive. Through his fuzzy sight, he could make out some of the captors chasing after him. Using his pale hands to feel for his surroundings, he gradually began to make his way home. They told me if I cooperated that they would leave my family alone, he thought as the War Hounds approached.

Answer 3

@KamiBug Should I just use the word teenager instead of adolescent?

Answer 4

I just need to make the first sentence into a hook. Or add a sentence for the hook before the first sentence.

Answer 5

Okay. The reason I was asking the question is because of the edits I got in class today

Answer 6

@4everaddicted2anime I like that you're using adolescent. It shows that you have a large vocabulary and that will continue to show if you continue using large words throughout your story. As for your hook, the edits in the picture say not to add a new sentence, but to change the existing one.

Answer 7

@CuriousQuestions That edit was made by me. I wanted to try to change it without having to add another sentence

Answer 8

@4everaddicted2anime oh, ok.

Answer 9

Personally, I would add a sentence describing the situation after the first sentence.

Answer 10

What do you think?

Answer 11

This is the sentence after the first one:
Regardless of the boy’s condition, he managed to get out of the building keeping him captive.

Answer 12

Although that is the 1st draft. What I have now is:
The teens sun kissed hair stretched its way past his drearily slouched shoulders. Drugs. Forced to take them to ensure his family's safety. Or so he was told. He took the punishment for his mess of a family is what he believed.

Answer 13

Nice. Remeber to do "teen's sun-kissed hair", not just "teens sun kissed hair". :)