Question

If you write a poem in free verse, it is not wrong to have any style right?

Answer 1

no free verse can be whatever you want it to

Answer 2

@RhondaSommer hope to see this new creation of yours

Answer 3

"Judgement"


By: Rhonda Sommer

He calls a girl 'fat'
But doesn’t know that her mom recently died
And cooking was something special she did with her mom

She calls him 'stupid'
But doesn’t know that his father beats him
And he cant get help to understand the work

He calls her 'worthless'
But doesn’t know that she has nothing
Because she has no family and has no one to love.

Why do we do this?
Why do we ignore the fact that people have problems?
Why do we choose to ignore it?
When did we become so oblivious to other peoples problems?

I don’t understand
Why we choose to judge others
And we ignore the problems in our own lives
And somehow pointing out other peoples problems

Has become a type of therapy
And so we go round and round and round
Calling each other names
Forgetting the reason we started arguing in the first place.

She is not 'fat'
He is not 'stupid'
And she is not 'worthless'

They are people!
They have feelings
And whether we like it or not
What we do is wrong.

Answer 4

@RhondaSommer I like it

Answer 5

"Afraid"


By: Rhonda Sommer
Looking over the edge I wonder
Should I jump?
Is it worth it?

Atop a 500 foot building I consider death
This is what I have become
A monster to myself

Looking in the mirror
Feels Painful

Seeing people laugh
Fills me with envy

How are you all so happy?
Is everything perfect in your life?
Does nothing ever go wrong?

A crowd of people has gathered.
Everyone is now looking at me
I have been spotted.

My life's decisions go through my mind
What I have I done?

Have I just become such a mess?
Have I pushed everyone away?

Feeling alone and afraid
I close my eyes
And jump.

And that is when I wake up
And realize
That I want to live


I am not alone.
I am just afraid.

Answer 6

is it bad i love a lot of what you write lol also can i get your opinion on a piece

Answer 7

sure

Answer 8

I look outside through the rain hitting my window pane
All i see is a world of pain
I turn to look inside myself and see a reflection staring me in the face

Then it hits me square on the chin
Why am i outside always looking in;
when the things that i need are outside staring me in the face

Have i just wasted my life away or am i too scared;
Too scared to turn and look them in the face
this world scares me for it is one
one i truly do not understand

the struggles..the hurt..the pain
why are they so constant why why
is life not hard enough without these struggles

Do i just scream in vain sometimes i wonder
what is really in my veins and
how can i prove this shell of a man
is not who i truly am

Answer 9

1, 3, and 6 lines are run on sentences

Answer 10

lol true

Answer 11

any thing else to add

Answer 12

I look outside through the rain hitting my window
All i see is a world of pain
I turn to look inside myself and see a reflection;
staring me in the face

Then it hits me square on the chin
Why am i outside always looking in;
when the things that i need are outside
staring me in the face

Have i just wasted my life away or am i too scared;
Too scared to turn and look them in the face
this world scares me for it is one
one i truly do not understand

the struggles..the hurt..the pain
why are they so constant why why
is life not hard enough without these struggles

Do i just scream in vain sometimes i wonder
what is really in my veins and
how can i prove this shell of a man
is not who i truly am

Answer 13

@RhondaSommer better? i hope

Answer 14

@4everaddicted2anime

Answer 15

For the line:
'I turn to look inside myself and see a reflection;'
You could take the 'and' out and replace it with a comma

Answer 16

ok any thing else to add

Answer 17

"turn to" coule be taken out as well

Answer 18

could*

Answer 19

I wouldd't take out the "and" that she pointed out.

Answer 20

wouldn't*

Answer 21

lol clash of the writing titans

Answer 22

ha :P ive been writing poetry for a while

Answer 23

In stanza 2 the use of the word 'outside' is a little too much. You could replace one of the 'outside's with 'outdoors'

Answer 24

well about that its not talking about literally oustide its like outside the mind of the speaker

Answer 25

Okay, then you can say exterior

Answer 26

also @4everaddicted2anime has also written quite a few poems as well @RhondaSommer

Answer 27

For the line:
'one i truly do not understand'
You can replace 'one' with 'that'

Answer 28

Or just take the first word out

Answer 29

the entire 2nd stanza is choppy as well :/

Answer 30

tbh the whole poem is a bit choppy

Answer 31

Drafts are almost always choppy. That's why it is good to get feedback on it from others

Answer 32

*claps* true true

Answer 33

and everyone has a different style of writing. Just because one author thinks one thing and another author thinks another does not mean that one of them is wrong. :)

Answer 34

Very true

Answer 35

never said that lol its good to have different opinions and i take the ones i like and apply them lol

Answer 36

honestly i could remove the second stanza and it would still make sense

Answer 37

For the line:
'Then it hits me square on the chin'
It is confusing: There isn't much imagery in the line. I'm not sure if you if you wanted it to rhyme with the next line, but if you changed 'chin' to 'skin' and changed that line to fit that ending word it would be great

Answer 38

lol thanks i sat ther for awhile trying to find a word so i said hey why not chin i was gonna put square in the face lol

Answer 39

lol. I was thinking that you could put face and then realized that that line and the next one rhymed, so i looked up stuff that rhymes with 'in'

Answer 40

lol

Answer 41

it doesnt have to rhyme tho lol

Answer 42

okay

Answer 43

For the line:
'how can i prove this shell of a man'
This would sound much better if 'of a man' was taken out

Answer 44

ugh. put this in a new question lol

Answer 45

i like dem :) good job !