Question

Just something I wrote thinking

Answer 1

The moon rise and falls with each day that past,
But he doesn’t seem to notice,
That life is still moving on,
But in the bright lit room and awful smells,
Life has stopped moving forward,
He sits by her bed waiting for something,
A moment or flicker of her eyes,
He thinks back to when he saw her,
Sitting on the edge of her roof,
He didn’t know what she was doing,
Until he saw her jump,
He raced time to save her,
He was too close to losing,
Now he sits waiting for her to move,
To wake,
So he could take back,
What he had said,
To her that made her,
Want to hurt herself . . .

Answer 2

I know there's some (or a lot) of mistakes in the poem please don't point them out

Answer 3

It's good i LOVE it!

Answer 4

and as far as i can see there's no mistakes.. good job :)

Answer 5

Thanks @NyeMc

Answer 6

It's a feels poem *gets a bit sad*..I like it though. Well written.

Answer 7

Thank you @AlexaTiger

Answer 8

You're welcome! Btw, I think your profile and stuff is totally BOSS! like, you're one of the most interesting people I've seen or heard of so far XD

Answer 9

Thank you

Answer 10

Good poem, Scar

Answer 11

Thank you @FortyTheRapper this is part two of three

Answer 12

Is part 3 written?

Answer 13

yea

Answer 14

Weeks turn to months,
Months turn to years,
He continued to sit with her,
Until the day she woke,
Her pale blue eyes blinked open,
He sits up in his chair,
She looks around the room before her eyes fall on him,
He could tell in her eyes that she didn’t remember,
Slowly, so slowly the memories come back,
The fight, the feelings,
The jump that almost killed her,
Being saved by the one that hurt her the most,
She could feel tears in her eyes,
As she looked at him,
She could feel in her heart that she still loved him,
He doesn’t move or say anything,
How could he when he was the one who put her here?
She wanted to move or say something,
But the words were stuck,
He didn’t know what she was doing or if she was still mad,

Answer 15

Oh wow, I thought she had passed away
You're a good writer, keep it up =]

Answer 16

Thank you

Answer 17

Is it in relation to anything, or just something you just brainstormed

Answer 18

It was after a book I read on suicide I was just kind feeling like the character and the words poured out.

Answer 19

Oooh, ok. Good poem again, hoping to read more in the future!

Answer 20

Okay

Answer 21

Best writing I have read in a while, awesome! :]

Answer 22

Thank you @tiniloisx means a lot

Answer 23

I don't think many people like these two poems as much as they liked the first one @Atrineas

Answer 24

Hang on I'm teared up your poems always make me cry, smile (Rainbow)

Answer 25

I guess when I write it's not just with words it's more with my heart that's why some of the things I write are so powerful

Answer 26

Agreed I love it @ScarlettFarra2000 your poems always turn out wonderful

Answer 27

Thanks I've always been the most with words then my voice