Question

Anyone? Help, please... I don't know which classes is that, but I need help... A lot of help. It's about life... I want to suicide myself... I-I don't know what to do... May be you could help me to make a list about the positive and negative? Thank you very much.

Answer 1

Can you help me?

Answer 2

A list of what is the good of suicide myself and the bad side of it

Answer 3

Suicide is not worth it.

Answer 4

Have the maturity to face the problem/tough situation and emerge victorious.

Answer 5

Well firdt there is no good of suicide... suicide allows you to escape your problems but in a way thats very selfish because you are making everyone who cares and loves you terribly upset.. there is no good about suicide..

Answer 6

You're lacking motivation.
You need some REAL motivation.

Answer 7

You should not give up. There is a better way to get rid of whatever you are going through

Answer 8

People who I loved very much had been lying to me since I was 6 years old, and now I know the truth...

Answer 9

Look,we all feel that.
Suicide is not a solution.

Answer 10

The truth is so ugly... I just can't belive it!

Answer 11

That must be very hard but it is no reason to end your life so soon. Things change over time

Answer 12

Change is the only constant.

Answer 13

This is very crucial in life.
We all have ups and downs no need to KILL YOURSELF.

Answer 14

The more you think ,the more it hurts.

Answer 15

If I am telling you I never knew my father, then my mom had a car accident, well I though, but she almost suicide herself by being hitting by a car, then there had been another time accident she could had died the second time ans actually it was her fault... Then I've been adopted...

Answer 16

AH!
Who wanna be an adopted child?No one.
Now that you know you're adopted you can do NOTHING to change it but you can be strong enough to accept it and move on.
Life HAS TO go on no matter what.

Answer 17

My grand-father died this october... And now I now that He loved me sooo much he had been protecting me and now he is died and I didn't make him feeled that I loved him...

Answer 18

My adopted parents told me they might going to send me to military school...

Answer 19

Thats not a problem.
Negotiate with them.
Tell them YOURE NOT WORTHLESS ,accept that.
Your an unique creation of god himself.
In the end, military school is a school,you'll learn new things and make new friends.
Learn to look at the positive side of life.

Answer 20

No, it is not making friends... And I know that...

Answer 21

Have a POSITIVE outlook of life.

Answer 22

I don't want friends...

Answer 23

Then what do you want?

Answer 24

I am not so sure, but I wish it could all stop for at least a moment... Or come back in time...

Answer 25

Things can be done.
You HAVE TO stay STRONG in this matter.

Answer 26

They even told me that at was worthless...

Answer 27

Im sure we all go through something similar.. you definitly are not alone... but you cant just give up on yourself or your life like aaron said you have to stay strong. dont listen to words that will bring you down like that.

Answer 28

I just don't fill no more support, nothing just a infinity dark hole that never stopped...

Answer 29

Or a circle for example, it goes away but come back...

Answer 30

Pull yourself out.
Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you reaction.

Answer 31

I know that life isn't a game, you cannot restarted..

Answer 32

But you can RETRY

Answer 33

I just need a support or someone that can be there... I do have friends but I am to far away from them

Answer 34

If life knocks you down 7 times,get up 8.

Answer 35

If you need support I'm here,the whole site is here for you :)

Answer 36

:) Yeah, but I need someone there, like there.... A person who can tell me something, like hug me or something like that...

Answer 37

A person who can understand me...

Answer 38

My mother's sister have a baby and his hunsband is so bad... I don't know what to do..

Answer 39

Spend time alone.
Be the person YOU WANT TO BE/WANT TO HAVE.

Answer 40

I'm in a similar situation tbh but you just have to stay strong and keep fighting. you will have people in your life who will be there for you and you will have people who will not.. its just how the world works. But you can do it, make things that usually make you feel happy, watch funny videos or whatever your hobby are do what makes you happy

Answer 41

Sorry my mom came, and I don't want her to know all of that...

Answer 42

Life has sets of challenges lined up for you.
So you better start working!

Answer 43

She want's to talk to me got to go...

Answer 44

Alright.
Stay strong and fight hustling for your goal!
All the best.

Answer 45

Maybe express some of your feelings.. get some help if you need it because suicide is not the answer, stay strong you can message us anytime you need or want (:

Answer 46

She said that I would need to come with her, it might going to take a while it seems...

Answer 47

But I will come back :)

Answer 48

(This was what I posted on Wattpad and this was written in a span of a few months.)

Since my b-day last year I have been getting really anxious and stressed out. Mostly because of my dad and my dad's grandma getting sick. Anyway at first I started picking at scabs and scars just to distract myself. But then the day after my b-day started scratching my hand really bad and I started doing it every couple of days.Now almost a year later and no one knows what I'm going through. My mom noticed my scabs from scratching a few days ago and I tried brushing her off. After my dad left later that night, I tried explaining what was happening but I almost started to cry and chickened out. (Never let myself cry and find it embarrassing to cry even in front of my cat.) As my dad's grandma gets sicker, he takes his anger and frustration and anything else out on me. He's even started calling me fat and hinting at it every time it gets close to dinner. And I've tried skipping meals but my mom always asks why I am not eating and she gets upset. I've started to get self conscious and afraid of going in to public. Since I am home schooled, I don't go out much anyways.
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On valentine's day I posted 'on a more depressing note' and so far its only gotten worse. My dad has been acting so much worse to me. He took away my tablet for two months , one of the only ways I can get on to wattpad, because a missed one of the trash cans in my house. The way I get on to wattpad now is though my school computer, and could possibly get into serious trouble with the school and my parents.*I'm homeschooled and they give me the computer to use only for school*

The only reason I take the chance, is because of how supportive everyone here is. I need to talk to someone, even if were just talking about favorite books or movies. Outside of the internet I don't know how to make friends. Just reading stories on here make me feel better and I can olny do that online and when my dad takes the internet way I feel boxed in. And I can't tell my parents what I tell my followers and people reading my work because they are part of the reason I need the support.
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Today I was very close to cutting for the first time... The only reason I didn't was because I was in the car with my parents.
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So I was really close to cutting last night.

My mom was going to a vegan salad party thing... I don't know what they were doing or anything. Anyways, my dad takes her to the party and I started doing my chores.

I get done with my chores, since I don't have my tablet, I decided to write because I need to get stuff done. I wrote a page, maybe page and a half before my dad gets home. (My mom is still at the vegan salad thing) My dad asks " Are your chores done?" "Yes." "Did you get your laundry done?" "No." (It was 6:48 p.m.) "Well get it done." I put away my writing stuff and get started.


I start my laundry and my dad starts checking my chores. He comes to me and says "Cats need food, trash in the kitchen wasn't done, and there are two boxes in the kitchen that need to go to outside. Make sure you get your laundry done tonight." (I literally just started my laundry, it was 7, I had 4 loads, each load takes 50 minutes, and I just start panicking) It might not seem like a lot but to me it was really bad because my dad could be really unpredictable. (I will explain later in the story)


So I get every thing done except my laundry. My dad is watching a car show like he usually does, and I've seen the episode a few times before so I sit on the couch with nothing to do. I was okay for awhile because I just imagine being part of TFW and them talking to me. Thinking about Sam, Dean, Cas, and the other character help when I get stressed out.

Then my dad pauses his program, which is never a good thing, and he starts talking. He basically says that if I don't have my tablet, I can't write, I can't draw, I can't listen to music, I can't watch what I like watching on TV. (He HATES fandoms because I keep talking about them. Plus mom and I have inside jokes involving fandoms. He literally talked about making a video of my favorite characters being dead... multiple times.)

Taking away my writing and my drawings is like saying that can't I talk. I don't have I way to express myself. He said that he would rip up anything that I was working on. Once he took a book away, that wasn't even mine, because he thought I was reading it. So he starts going on and on about what I can't do. I start feeling trapped, cut off, caged in, and so I start scratching. The scratching wasn't working, it wasn't distracting my like it usually does.


My mom texts him so he can pick her up. It was about 8 and he said he would be back in 15 minutes. I run to my room and I had been scratching for the last 10 minutes. I had cut my nails so it wasn't doing much. Then I realize... cutting. I though about it, I had a really old knife but it was so dull it couldn't cut into butter.


I've never tried to get razors out of a razor. I was nervous, overwhelmed, and running out of time. Because I had never done it before it took me, around 5 minutes to get the razors out. I knew I would need a box to keep them in so I looked around my room for one. It was a coffin box that I was going to paint and keep in my room all year.
I was thinking about all the stuff my dad has said and done. The times that that he has told me that I'm fat or useless or that I should use my brain, the time he had me on my knees crying because he kicked me, and the times he showed me he truly doesn't care about me. Just as I was about to start cutting, my parents came back.

I was quiet and didn't eat anything last night. I could tell my mom was worried because I wasn't talking to her.

So skipping to this morning, My dad starts his morning speech of chores I need to do in their bedroom. My mom sitting right there as my dad 'tells' me what I hear everyday. Because my mom rarely hears the speech, she starts getting upset. Instead of saying anything, she puts her earphones in and pretends nothing is happening.
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Nobody knew this but on 3/17 my dad started yelling (daily thing but it doesn't usually get overwhelming) about something stupid. It was probably something like a trash can not done or dog food wasn't full enough. I don't know.

Anyways, I almost cut five times in two hours. But I remembered all the people on here. I was going to put a chapter up but figured why make a big deal out of it.

On 3/21, today, I was doing my schoolwork while dad took my mom to collage. When he gets back, he asks me a few questions about my chores and just leaves me alone. (Which is a blessing. I don't like talking to him, I don't like when he is around, he is always angry.) So he comes back and was talking about how the trash wasn't completely done. I get up and take the headphones I had on, off. Then he asks why I have headphones on, so I told him the truth. I was listening to music on Pandora. (I didn't think it would be a big deal but by his reaction....kill me now so I don't have to tell you the rest of the story.........................)

He was so angry he started shaking and was trying to open the gate. (We have baby gates to keep the dogs out of certain rooms) When he got the gate open, he was rushing over to my desk and yelling in my face. (I had cowered close to my desk and was literary waiting to be hit. I was shaking and crying a lot because I was scared.) And he took away my tablet....again....

So he stops yelling and I am doing my chores. He corners me and starts yelling again. (This happens several times. By then then, I am completely anxious, scared, and I couldn't take it.) He said if I wasn't a girl, I would have had a broken nose or broken jaw.

I just wish I could disappear or go somewhere else.

I could go to my grandma's house but


#1. that would be the first place they look

#2. I don't know how to get there. (That is really sad because I go there every week... this just gets more depressing with every sentence.)

#3. What the hell am I supposed to say when I get there. 'Oh hi, I was just wondering if I could hide from my dad here. Why? Oh he just threatens me with violence and yells at me every time I don't do something right. By the way, you should hide all the sharp objects in the house. Thanks for being understanding!" Wow that was a lot of sarcasm or is it sass. I don't care right now.

I don't know what to do any more. I can't take the stress, the yelling, the anger.




'Your misery and hate will kill us all.'

That is going to happen to me................................................................ (I might, somehow, get the courage to show these chapters to my mom. But lets face it, I probably won't, this is going to happen again, it will get worse, I'll cut, and it will be my secret... Forever. Then I will live alone somewhere, I won't talk to people outside of my job or the internet, and I will probably stay like that. Without friends or love, I'll die in a sad little house. Filled with fandom merch and cats who will eat me.)




Wow, that was dark........... bye lovelies. (Isn't it weird lovelies can by broken up to love lies.......)

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(I was thinking about suicide too only a few days ago. I was really close. I tried to post basically a good bye on here and one of the mods took it down. My advise: Life freaking sucks and there is nothing you can do to change that but that doesn't mean you should kill yourself.)


Message for any mods that are thinking about taking this down:
This is helping me (and other people) express my (or their) feelings. Why take that away for a stupid CoC? If someone was trying to find reason to live on here, would you take that away? If that person didn't get help and killed themselves, how would you feel? That was almost me. My life for a CoC because I couldn't get the help.