Question

i need help revising a poem for my creative writing class. Please help asap

Answer 1

Around and around we go
The never ending cycle of life
From time to time you will show
The strife only one could know

Who is ever alone?

Up against a wall,
You may have been shoved
A sense of distortion
Bringing you towards
Your unforeseen downfall.

You are not alone.

Climbing to reach that which was our own
In the dimmest of light, we shall shine
Shine brighter than any other star
You bring me up from the darkest times

We are not alone.

One day, one shall appear
Who will want to spend his life,
Forever with you
Never worrying about being alone

The cycle of life is not meant for one,
But always intended for two.

Answer 2

I have to show revisions and my peer edits didn't say much ;-;

Answer 3

In the second stanza, maybe switch the first two lines?

Answer 4

It makes a little rhyme that way.

Answer 5

@Twistrose

Answer 6

my teacher kinda doesn't want it to rhyme, but if it makes it sound better I'll do it

Answer 7

i like it but maybe their instead of his because it makes it more broader audience maybe but if you want to keep it i think it sounds wonderful

Answer 8

that's what the people who gave me revisions pretty much said. My teacher grades our work on the revisons tho. She won't give good grades for small canges, I've tried that already unfortunately

Answer 9

ok im sorry next time try delebrity making mistakes and then correect them

Answer 10

it's okay. I'll keep that in mind for next time