Question

HELP ASAP!! DUE TOMORROW!! WILL MEDAL!!
Need help on redoing my introduction paragraph

This is what I have
http://assets.openstudy.com/updates/attachments/57e7f710e4b0dc03c9750f62-ilovemath14-1474855451399-image.jpeg

Answer 1

@SapphireMoon @TheSmartOne @zepdrix @pooja195 @Nnesha @welshfella @thomaster @sammixboo @.Sam.

Answer 2

@ilovemath14 I already gave you my two cents on this one, didn't help?

Answer 3

No @SapphireMoon

Answer 4

Since I have all of my information on the paper can you revise it for me please? I am super behind on my work and I can't receive another F @SapphireMoon

Answer 5

Well, at this stage, if I revise it for you, I'd be writing half of it. I'd have to make your position and state it. How about I help you figure out what you really want to say? Answer this question for me: Do you believe animal testing is ethical or unethical? A yes or no answer. @ilovemath14

Answer 6

Ethical @SapphireMoon

Answer 7

All right. Now we have a position. In the form of a sentence, we have a thesis statement: "I believe animal testing is ethical because 1, 2, and 3" or however many points you have. That clears up one of the points your teacher made. Give me your thesis statement with the 1, 2, and 3 replaced with the three (or however many) points your body paragraphs make.

Answer 8

1. Testing animals with different medicines and chemicals makes sure that it is not dangerous for humans.

2. Testing animals can also save peoples lives.

3. Idk what to put

@SapphireMoon

Answer 9

I am conducting a survey for a class assignment and i need some of you to answer a few questions. Thx

Height?

Number of siblings?

Times you go to the movies a month?

Age?

Average hours of sleep?

Weight?

Phone bill?

Without researching or using a piece of paper (plz i need honest answers I will not put name on survey)

How many rows of stars are on the american flag?


please help!!!!!

Answer 10

It allows new medicines and treatments, as well as medical diagnostic equipment to be tested without endangering human.

The testing often finds cures for animal issues too.

Answer 11

So we have no third paragraph? That's fine. Our thesis statement is now "Testing on animals is ethical because it allows new treatments and medicines to be tested without endangering humans, it saves people's lives, and sometimes cures are found for animal issues, too." Do you see how this is a strong position now? It's declaring your point of view in a strong manner, not just repeating others' opinions in a way that leaves your own position unclear. I usually put this as my last sentence, because it lays out the road map to my body paragraphs. Now let's work on your opening. You need a hook, which is something that makes readers interested in your topic and want to continue reading, that also makes them sympathetic to your position. I usually start with a story, sometimes sounding like a news reporter or a crime show. Do you have any ideas? @ilovemath14

Answer 12

No I don't @SapphireMoon

Answer 13

Found some websites that might inspire you (trying not to write this for you, don't think your teacher would appreciate that...)

https://www.kibin.com/essay-writing-blog/good-hook-sentences/
http://hooksforessays.com/persuasive-essay-hooks/
http://marvelessay.com/good-hooks-for-essays/

Just google "hook ideas for persuasive essays" if you need more.

Answer 14

Can it be a question? @SapphireMoon

Answer 15

Don't ask me, it's not my essay, lol. Whatever you feel comfortable writing, and I'll tell you if it's interesting enough, I suppose. @ilovemath14

Answer 16

Can you please just revise what I have on that link? My teacher actually told us today to have someone revise and fix whatever we did wrong. But no one wanted to revise mine. @SapphireMoon I'm not lying

Answer 17

All right. Never heard of a teacher who did that, but I'll see what I can do. @ilovemath14

Answer 18

My Creative Writing teacher is super cool and nice. She lets us use our phones in class, eat in class, and when we have 5 minutes of class left she put on music and the whole class starts dancing. @SapphireMoon

Answer 19

Nice. Wish I had a teacher like that, then again, I'm homeschooled so my teacher is my mom. XD

Answer 20

Ok, my added sentences are *like this* and my edits aere (like this).

*There's a little boy in a hospital with a rare brain disorder. The doctors think they have found a procedure that will save the little boy's life, but they are uncertain as to whether he will sustain brain damage. The only way they could test this new procedure on living tissue is to test it on animals. Whose life is more important, the animal's or the little boy's?* {Comment: There's my story mixed with your question, you can adapt it or toss it at your discretion.} (Removed first, second, third, and fourth sentences. First sentence is a weak opening, second sentence doesn't support your thesis. Third and fourth sentences contain information which should be in your body paragraphs.) *Animals are useful for testing because their body systems can work and respond a lot like ours.* (They) could also experience pain and suffering the way we do. However, there are some negative aspects. Many people complain that it is not fair to treat animals the way scientists do through these experiments. (They) state that it is animal abuse and (animals) don't deserve to be treated this way. {Comment: There's something off about that, feel free to poke at it.} (They) argue that animals also have rights and should not be harmed just for the benefit of human lives. *Would they still say so if they knew that little boy? I believe that animal testing is ethical because it allows new treatments and medicines to be tested without endangering humans, it saves people's lives, and sometimes cures are found for animal issues, too.*

How is that, @ilovemath14? This introduction hooks the reader, gives some background, then states the position. All persuasive introductions should do those three things.