Question

essay help!

Answer 1

@harman.singh

Answer 2

What is your writing about?

Answer 3

The Dolls House

Answer 4

its pretty much a crtical response

Answer 5

I have not read the text though so not exactly sure what you are writing about :/

Answer 6

Its a short story... basically here

Answer 7

https://www.enotes.com/topics/dolls-house-katherine-mansfield

Answer 8

scroll down to summary

Answer 9

Hey, how do you ask questions?

Answer 10

easy

Answer 11

Alright so I read the 'Summary' up to the part where it asks to sign up. What exactly do you need my help with?

Answer 12

this is a critical responds on how the kids are abused etc

Answer 13

Yes, I understand that but what do you need my help with?

Answer 14

does it look detailed enough

Answer 15

im mean so far at least

Answer 16

I am guessing what you have written so far is the introduction of the essay. Looking at it, it seems detailed enough to me. I would just fix the grammatical errors to make it more fluent.

Answer 17

alright

Answer 18

@harman.singh

Answer 19

http://www.bachelorandmaster.com/shortfiction/the-dolls-house-summary.html#.WC0XhuYrLIU

Answer 20

this is a complete summary please read it ... it would make this easier and here is the revised document with 1st paragraph

Answer 21

I had a read of the paragraph but its a bit difficult to understand what you are trying to say in the first couple of sentences. I would suggest re-wording it so its clear to understand and straight to the point.

Answer 22

@harman.singh okay i revised it but did i cite the source correctly ?

Answer 23

Are you referring to the quote in the paragraph?

Answer 24

Btw, great improvement in the paragraph compared to the previous one :)

Answer 25

Yes sorry i was late.... watching suits ... but um yes that was a quote... did i put it in proper form? @harman.singh

Answer 26

I wouldn't recommend putting the quote as one sentence. You should only include a part of the quote in your sentence with explanation. Have a look at the first dot point in this link for example - https://siwordsmiths.wordpress.com/2012/04/22/essay-writing-series-embedding-quotes/

Answer 27

@harman.singh changed up the quote

Answer 28

What did you change in the quote? looks pretty similar to me

Answer 29

well i shortened it @harman.singh
“The fact is that school the Burnell children went to, wasn’t what their parents intended.”

Answer 30

Did you read the example in the link I posted? You need to add an explanation to your quote and relate it back to the text.

Answer 31

I did

Answer 32

how doesn't it relate to the story tho

Answer 33

“The fact is that the school the Burnell children went to, wasn’t what their parents intended because they had no other choices, it was the closest near home”

Answer 34

revised quote

Answer 35

See how they have inserted the quote into a sentence without having the quote as one single sentence? I recommend doing the same. Also, have a look the way they have interpreted it. It makes it more fluent.

Source: Wordssmith

Answer 36

i cant come up with anything on shortening the quote ....

Answer 37

"The parents sent them off to a school of differences, their was no choice."

Answer 38

Alright, just use that quote as your sentence but make sure you explain what you mean by the quote in the next sentence.

Answer 39

so i made revise a little but i think i made it super good, tell me what you think ...@harman.singh

Answer 40

@harman.singh

Answer 41

Yes, it looks pretty good now :)

Answer 42

Most of the paragraph looks good. I like how you have given specific examples from the story and referred to them in the text. The vocabulary and grammar is also quite good. Just one thing, you should not include the word "quote" in their. Instead, just write the quote without saying its a quote.

Answer 43

oh okay I thought it would be cool that i added that lol

Answer 44

We usually only say the word "quote" when speaking. When writing, we only need to use the quotation marks. Just for future reference :)