Question

I have to write a introductory paragraph and it must contain the following.

1. A hook (get the readers’ attention with a question, quote, or statement)
2. Several (3-5) sentences
3. Thesis statement

Does this sound alright?

Amidst the gigantic metropolitan urban zones to the nation towns, there lies one city had with satisfaction and elation: Miami, Florida. Miami has been voted as extraordinary among other urban groups in America to movement. From its pleasant shorelines to its brilliant skyline and points of view, complaints to this megalopolis remains minimum. Additionally, the collection of resorts, exercises, and events tends to beguile tourists to this goal. As I can hypothesize, with different levels of clear insistence from suppositions and travel bits of knowledge, the place where I grew up, Miami, is a city that one should visit.

Answer 1

1. Make sure you indent
2. "in America to movement" this doesn't make sense
3. "exercises, and events tends" comma events, it's a pause
4. "hypothesize" means an initial explanation. In an essay, after a plethora of research and writing, your introduction should not be denoted as an initial explanation. It should be a solid claim made after research. Hypothesize sounds like you're running off of limited evidence, which is what scientists do when they create a hypothesis.
5. I am assuming this is your thesis: "different levels of clear insistence from suppositions and travel bits of knowledge"

Two points, thus two body paragraphs?

Supposition doesn't sound like the right word, and overall it isn't that clear. Try make it more concise and easily understandable

~

The paragraph as a whole seems filled with words not commonly seen in this level of writing. Thus, dictionary/thesaurus? Or Copy pasta? Forgive me if I am incorrect, but even if not, make your paragraph more simple. Having a sesquipedalian paragraph makes the points you are trying to make more obscure. (Fancy words make it hard to understand).

Answer 2

Okay, i thought that didn't sound right too....

How about this one?

In the midst of the huge metropolitan urban areas to the country towns, there lies one city possessed with fulfillment and euphoria: Miami, Florida. Miami has been voted as outstanding amongst other urban communities in America to travel. From its agreeable shorelines to its superb horizon and perspectives, objections to this megalopolis stays least. Also, the assortment of resorts, activities, and occasions tends to charm sightseers to this destination. As I can postulate, with various levels of clear affirmation from opinions and travel insights, my hometown, Miami, is a city that one should visit.

Answer 3

I'll indent when im done with the whole essay...

Answer 4

I would make it "voiced opinions" and not just opinions. It gives a direction as to where these "opinions" come from.

Answer 5

And that's just a simply fix, I would recommend detailing whose opinions these are from. Tourists? Fellow residents? Politicians? etc

Answer 6

huge -> vast

It's a more 'pretty' way to say it. Kind of awe inspiring.

Answer 7

Yes

Answer 8

Some of the changes you made regarding the "fancy words" are nice. Much more easy to read and understand.

Is this supposed to be a persuasive essay?

Answer 9

yes

Answer 10

Oh okay. If it wasn't then you would not likely be able to use the first person perspective, or "I." You should be fine.

Answer 11

Okay, thank you!