Question

ESSAY HELP!! need to revise and complete by Monday morning

Answer 1

@ThisGirlPretty

Answer 2

May you post your essay? :o

Answer 3

While being near the top of my class throughout high school, my school smarts did not outweigh my social inadequacy. That, of course, is aided by my online schooling. You could say that college has made me insane. Having to deal with such a strenuous amount of people, workload, etc., consequently leading to massive amounts of social anxiety and stress. Even ending up with having a panic attack over misplacing a pencil, vomiting on someone I just met, and, furthermore, attempting to replace sleep with the excessive cramming of knowledge. They say you are your worst critic; you have the highest standards for yourself. However, trying to hold these standards makes my mind bring forth all these problems to the very front. So, let the stumble begin.
The brain can function on an eccentric package of sleep. Those limits continue to be tested nightly, as I cannot seem to learn that my studies are not as important as my mental health. “Please get yourself some sleep, take a nap now and then”, as I tell myself. Furthermore, someone recently told me that sleep is more important than the excessive cramming of knowledge. It is impossible to remember material with the lack of sleep! Challenge accepted! Going to class exhausted is better than going to class unprepared; although, my first math quiz disagrees. Surviving on caffeine and hungry, only leads to failure and struggle. Late nights only equal anxiety overload.

Answer 4

I need a purpose and where to go with this

Answer 5

What's the prompt? What is the rubric/what are the rules?

Answer 6

When you talk about the paint attack and vomiting I wouldn't put forthermore, since it's all repeated later also. And on the second to last sentence I would edit to: "surviving on caffeine and being hungry only leads to failure and struggle."

Answer 7

some of it will get deleted
I'm only on paragraph 2 and I have no idea where to take this

Answer 8

or "and hunger"

Answer 9

I need flow and things to write about. I know what I want to say sort of but I don't know how to say it.

Answer 10

@hellodarlings

Answer 11

What lesson did you learn @kaylak

Answer 12

slowing I'm starting to learn to not be a perfectionist

Answer 13

maybe I need to brainstorm and you can give me ideas of paragraphs?

Answer 14

the intro is great.. I just need the rest to flow

Answer 15

I guess more or less stop overstudying because it causes stress

Answer 16

I just read your introduction and I'll be honest, it paints quite the dreading tale.

Answer 17

Have you chosen an audience that you're speaking to? If I'm honest, it sounds like you're speaking to yourself.

Answer 18

The rubric you posted mentioned family and friends as a possibility.

Answer 19

I don't really have anything interesting though. Most of my past is kind of depressing. Writing about my mother's death made me cry.

Answer 20

First and foremost, think about what the rubric suggested. Who is someone in your life that if you had a time machine, you could go back and impart to them this one story. You know that this particular story will be beneficial to them in some way. If not for some reason that you are already aware, it'll help them eventually in life. Who is that person?

Answer 21

By the way, there's no shame in choosing yourself. I would.

Answer 22

see I didn't get to socialize due to virtual school so I have no experiences really

Answer 23

this essay is supposed to be about learning how to not overstress etc. That's all I know how to do. I want to perfect everything.

Answer 24

At this point, I may have to make up a fake story. I'm a terrible liar though.

Answer 25

You have experiences to share. They are valuable and you ought to choose not to disagree with me on that one because trust me I know my stuff (:

Who do you want to help, could be anyone. Family, friends, yourself, a homeless person. Choose the person that first comes to mind, the one that you know will be truly meaningful. That will get you through this essay easily.

Answer 26

well I want to be a teacher

Answer 27

That's good, but who do you want this essay to be directed to? It needs an audience.

Answer 28

well the stress story was for teens

Answer 29

For example, if I wasn't to write to myself, an equally apt person would be my nephew, since we're similar in a lot of ways.

Answer 30

Okay then, so you are speaking to teenagers in general?

Answer 31

that was the idea but I have to mention the audience without being too direct

Answer 32

Yeah, that's part and parcel with dealing with a group as an audience. It might be better to choose an individual.

Answer 33

what else should I write about?

Answer 34

others didn't have a specific audience per se

Answer 35

I could write to myself

Answer 36

I think you'd have the greatest success with that one.

Answer 37

Do I need a new intro?

Answer 38

what should I write about?

Answer 39

Well, what lesson would you want to impart to your younger self, if you did in fact, have that time machine?

Answer 40

Honestly, I have more to learn now than I did in the past. I guess that it is okay to not be okay

Answer 41

It has to be interesting though

Answer 42

It can be any point in time though, a year ago, five years, etc

Answer 43

Well most of my time was spent caring for others due to illnesses and then, they passed away.

Answer 44

I like to say that I'm fine but in reality, I am not that strong.

Answer 45

I don't ask for help and I still need to learn that I can't be perfect.

Answer 46

I am basically still the same. I discovered that through finding myself, I haven't changed a bit.

Answer 47

I wanted to know everything and have my entire life planned. Turns out, I know absolutely nothing.

Answer 48

You have an idea of what you want out of life, that is more than most.

Answer 49

He wants a conflict though

Answer 50

He told us that in class. No conflict, bad story

Answer 51

He's referring to the archetypal story, essentially it requires something for the hero to overcome.

Answer 52

but what did I overcome and I can't be the victim

Answer 53

Well, did you always know that you cannot be perfect, and instead strived endlessly for that state?

Answer 54

I liked to think that I could be perfect. I take too long on assignments to make sure I get a great, if not perfect grade. Even on multiple-choice, I decipher the material. I feel failure.

Answer 55

fear

Answer 56

*

Answer 57

I know where you're coming from. It's a combination of high conscientiousness (Big Five personality trait oriented into two smaller traits, orderliness and industriousness), and intelligence which you obviously have. I can tell you from experience that the journey of a perfectionist is a short one, yet the journey of a person seeking to be the most that their potential will allow them to be is an eternity worth living.

Answer 58

It is an eternity because you can never be the most that you can be, that's just an element of life that you accept. It's all about seeing how much that you can do, a challenge of sorts.

Answer 59

I need an essay topic though

Answer 60

I have this weekend

Answer 61

The reason you can't be the most that you can be, is because as you said, "I wanted to know everything," and that's simply nothing that no human can achieve. It's why I like @Gdeinward 's profile, he says: "I know a lot about a little, and a little about a lot."

Answer 62

thanks bruh.

Answer 63

I wanted to make others happen so I chose paths of life that would impress them.

Answer 64

Personally, I think you're still on that particular journey. There are a couple of themes you could run with...

Perfectionist is a good one that will go well. I could also talk to you a bit about social anxiety, and see how you think about that as a theme.

Answer 65

I'm honestly still learning a lot of things.

Answer 66

While being near the top of my class throughout high school, my school smarts did not outweigh my social inadequacy. That, of course, is aided by my online schooling. You could say that college has made me insane. Having to deal with such a strenuous amount of people, workload, etc., consequently leading to massive amounts of social anxiety and stress. Even ending up with having a panic attack over misplacing a pencil, vomiting on someone I just met, and attempting to replace sleep with the excessive cramming of knowledge. They say you are your worst critic; you have the highest standards for yourself. However, trying to hold these standards makes my mind bring forth all these problems to the very front. So, let the stumble begin.
does this paragraph work or do I need to start over?

Answer 67

You know, the Oracle of Delphi declared Socrates the smartest man in the world, because 'he knew that he knew nothing.'

Answer 68

I could write about graduation and how I changed majors by the speech

Answer 69

by sensory details

Answer 70

As you said earlier, your goal is: "this essay is supposed to be about learning how to not overstress etc. That's all I know how to do. I want to perfect everything."

After the section you just posted, you mentioned sleep almost as a possible solution, but then disregarded it. As I said earlier, this introduction paints quite a bleak picture, which is why I was wondering where you were transitioning to. There's nothing wrong with a bleak picture at the genesis, but the landscape has to gradually change.

Answer 71

What major did you have, then switch to, and why?

Answer 72

My peers said that it captured my insanity quite well.

Answer 73

It did and it didn't. It captured your idea of insanity, your peers didn't vocalize it but they considered you a decent offshoot of normal. I am sure they have their own versions of insanity which they know they portray.

Answer 74

This is my argument for: everyone is insane.

Answer 75

Bio pre-med to English education, although I may not be meant for HS. The guy asked, " What annoys you? Go and change it.". I always mention education in every essay, argument, etc. I love English and writing. I want students to be prepared for the future. Develop life skills etc.

Answer 76

Now that's a story

Answer 77

So how do I start it?

Answer 78

Talk about your struggles with your previous major

Answer 79

But before that, foreshadow the theme of life purpose

Answer 80

I am terrible at math and calculus was a pain

Answer 81

Then speech

Answer 82

Then English major change

Answer 83

Talk about that a bit, and its an essay wrapped up in a bun.

Answer 84

I'll see what I can write and upload here

Answer 85

Sure thing

Answer 86

I need an audience though

Answer 87

and conflict

Answer 88

maybe I don't need an intro per se. Maybe start off with the exhausting valedictorian and salutatorian speeches

Answer 89

Sitting through the exhausting valedictorian and salutatorian speeches, was an utter

Answer 90

like maybe this

Answer 91

Wait so, did your professor say that you need to mention the audience?

Answer 92

Cause the rubric doesn't.

Answer 93

yes and no
you have to figure out who the audience is

Answer 94

Yeah I think that's just his creative way of ensuring that you personalize your essays. Good on him.

Answer 95

Sitting through the exhausting valedictorian and salutatorian speeches, was an utter disappointment.

Answer 96

where should I go from here so I can get to the great speech

Answer 97

I don't think the speeches that didn't speak to you should be the focus. It doesn't present a strong conflict, it's more a minor annoyance.

Answer 98

I think you should address your struggle with life purpose and why you chose Biology Pre-Med, then you can say "After a series of lackluster speeches, a young man strode onto the platform with a confidence that bespoke a message worth listening to."

Answer 99

Do you see what I mean?

Answer 100

yes give me a sec. I almost have an intro

Answer 101

Everyone has a calling in life. It may not always be recognized but, when it does you ask yourself, why didn’t I think of this sooner? For years, I thought that I was meant for the science department. From veterinary medicine to pathology, I was determined to work in laboratory research for the rest of my life. However, that changed after graduation.
needs better word choice but an idea

Answer 102

Move the but after the comma - second sentence.

Answer 103

It is also for a younger audience so I guess not too wordy

Answer 104

It is but it isn't. Your professor is reading it and if he asks, this is for college students in their first semester. Technically, younger than you. And a valuable lesson to share.

Answer 105

I am a college student, first semester lol

Answer 106

Damn, you ruined the whole plan.

Answer 107

lol

Answer 108

Lol you don't sound like a freshman.

Answer 109

HS seniors thinking about college and major life.

Answer 110

Boom

Answer 111

well thanks, I guess

Answer 112

lol

Answer 113

We can reasonably assume they have some understanding of Engrish, and you can therefore use whatever vocabulary at your whim.

Answer 114

yay. I'm going to write this first and then perfect it so I'm not having a panic attack over here lol

Answer 115

I'll be online, shoot me a message if you want me to take a look. I can also help you on Google Docs if that's the platform you use. Also, remember, it's not about perfection, it's about making it the most that you can make it.

Answer 116

true

Answer 117

The most important question he asked was “what annoys you?’ I contemplated for a while on my decided major. I could not conclude a response. I was amused by the idea of studying horrific biopsies and I loved research; however, it was not enough to become my career.