Question

can anyone help me edit my scholarship essay?
some specifics I'm wanting to focus on:
-composition of essay (I feel like some paragraphs could be swapped around, but i need an outside perspective on this, lol)
-better word choice
-feedback on any necessary/unnecessary commentary (if i do not/need more context)
-need a title!
-general criticism/comments/suggestions
-making it a bit more lengthy? I'm at 1,000 words but the requirements are 1000-1,5000, so i still have room to add a bit more if needed!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1KsufQKlLmSVkdFSlaFJOrnqaSzNRErliqPqKYFIvNhI/edit?usp=sharing

i made the doc's link able to comment, but if you would like to edit, just lmk :')

Answer 1

prompt:
Tell us about your experiences associated with your relocation into this area. Please feel free to discuss your family background, challenges encountered with the relocation, and successes achieved. We would also appreciate any advice you would give to another teenager preparing to relocate (as you did)!

Answer 2

It's very nice! Throughout the story, you gave a clear context of how your life was and what you learned. You told us about what it was like and how it was like. You showed us how you made the world a better place. This story is truly inspiring. Someday I hope you would make this a book. Anyways, I only had to edit one thing so you should be good for now.

Answer 3

hey @Astrid1, i really appreciate your feedback! thank you so much, truly!

still, i am wanting someone to pick apart that essay to find things I can improve on hehe

Answer 4

\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{Originally Posted by}}\) @lolokrat
hey @Astrid1, i really appreciate your feedback! thank you so much, truly!

still, i am wanting someone to pick apart that essay to find things I can improve on hehe
\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{End of Quote}}\)
yw, and okie.

Answer 5

your essay doesn't need to be changed, you're spelling seems to be on point and so does your grammar, the only thing i could say tho change is the common words in your essay to something else so they don't seem overused ( sorry i just sorta know how they work because i just got accepted into my college and done way to many scholarship essays) just don't overuse your words, because after a while they will be repetitive and sound like you're talking on and on yk. but i dont think you have an overly used words that need to be changed so you do really really well with the essay

Answer 6

congratulations on your admission into your college @cpl106! yeah I know they were common words, I posted that I needed to focus on word choice in my first post. I'll definitely go through and see what words I can swap! thank you!

Answer 7

\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{Originally Posted by}}\) @lolokrat
congratulations on your admission into your college @cpl106! yeah I know they were common words, I posted that I needed to focus on word choice in my first post. I'll definitely go through and see what words I can swap! thank you!
\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{End of Quote}}\)
also another tip is, just be honest and let youre hand flow with the words, sounds cliche and dumb but it works lmao

Answer 8

Do you have ideas for what you want to title this essay?

Answer 9

nope, i'm always a blank when it comes to titles lol

Answer 10

Im thinking something about 'Home'. Or 'Story"

Answer 11

yes i was also thinking somewhere in that general area

Answer 12

Maybe 'Where Home Is' or something like that

Answer 13

hmmm i need something not cheesy lol

Answer 14

lol hb 'Time A to Time B' Cus honestly its kind of a life story of your timeline but from the oldest memory you can think of till where and how you are living today?

Answer 15

err good idea but not really feeling that either haha

Answer 16

Back to all posts
What’s the right scholarship essay format and structure?
21 JANUARY 2020 KELLY LAMANO CATEGORIES: SCHOLARSHIP ESSAYS
Many scholarships require you to submit at least one essay–and maybe you’ve already got that covered. But now you’re wondering: how should your essay be formatted? Should it be double-spaced or single-spaced? Should you include a title? Should you include the prompt? What does a typical scholarship essay format look like?

Although you don’t have to worry about essay formatting at Going Merry (we’ll structure and submit your application for you, with our pre-filled forms!), maybe you’re also applying to some other scholarships too. So we’re here to help you understand how to format your scholarship essay.

Jump to:
Where do I start?
Does a scholarship essay need a title?
How should a scholarship essay be formatted? What font should I use?

Start writing!
Scholarship essay format research
Where do I start?
You’ll need to dive into a personal experience or tell your story of an accomplishment, a hobby, an interest to the scholarship provider, showing them your experience with a structured and descriptive essay. Create an outline of your essay (this can be old school, with pen and paper!), write it out, and then ensure you’re formatting it professionally and properly.
Does a scholarship essay need a title?
This depends on the essay submission format.

If there is a text box entry, you can just copy and paste the body of your essay, without a title. This is the case, for example, when applying for scholarships through Going Merry.

If you’re attaching an essay as a Word or PDF document, you can optionally include a title, but this is usually unnecessary unless there are special scholarship essay format instructions to do so. (One popular reason you might need to do this is if the prompt is to write about any topic of your choice, or to choose your own prompt. In this case, to give the reader more context before you begin your essay, a title may be helpful.)

If you are required to create a title, we recommend doing one of two things:

Think of a title early on. Write down that title, write your essay, and then circle back to the title to tweak it as needed.
-OR-
Write your essay and then come up with a title. Your creativity might be fresher once you’ve answered the prompt and included the meat and potatoes of the scholarship essay, which might help you come up with a suitable title at the end.
Also, don’t stress! While a clever title can improve your essay, it’s hardly a make-or-break. A very descriptive title that summarizes the prompt would work fine, as long as your essay is strong.

Relatedly, you don’t need to include the essay question or prompt at the top of your essay. The scholarship committee will know what the topic or prompt is!

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