Question

Hi everyone! I've been trying to write a story and I don't know where I should bring it. It was supposed to be a romance/drama story, but I've only drawn up characters and a little bit of the beginning. Constructive criticism and plot progression are greatly appreciated! Thank you all!


“How did that happen?!” Yuki exclaimed, enthralled in Michiko’s story. Michiko was tempted to continue, but she wasn’t in the mood. Usually, Yuki would cheer her up, always being gullible for her stories, but something was off today, and Michiko couldn’t put her finger on it.
“Well?” Yuki asked impatiently, as she made a face to indicate that she was waiting from afar. Michiko smiled and shrugged explaining that “my memory hasn’t been the best lately”. Yuki groaned.
“It’s late anyway. I’ll see you tomorrow!” Michiko was a bit too eager to leave, not even letting Yuki get a word in. She opened her mouth but before she could say anything, Michiko closed the door behind her.
“I wonder what’s up with her?” Yuki asked the now empty classroom. She was alone with her thoughts, which to her, weren’t that interesting. Not as interesting as Michiko’s stories, at least. She always told Yuki the stories which in the beginning, made Yuki believe, but the effect wore off.
Michiko’s stories always had to do about what happened on her walk to-and-fro to school. It was practically the only time they weren’t together. They were as their peers called, “inseparable”. Yuki squirmed in her seat, excited for Michiko's next story.
“What are you up to?” Yuki jumped in her seat and quickly spun. It was Ryujin Orihara, her second-best friend, below Michiko. He was dressed in his school’s uniform, a pair of tacky plaid pants, and black dress jacket. He spiced it up with a bright t-shirt as an undershirt.
“I was just getting ready to go.” Yuki peeped, still a bit on edge for surprising her. Ryu looked around for a clock before noticing it.
“Your school’s been closed for an hour. You have a stroke or something?” He joked. She gave him a nervous smile and shrugged. “Maybe I did.”
“Right. Are we still going or are you gonna blackout some more?” He put his palm on her desk and leaned on it, causing the desk to sink a little and creak.
“We can go,” Yuki told Ryu. There was some kind of energy from him that immediately drained her. She was at least calm.
Ryu spared the desk from his weight, stood up straight, and stretched his left arm across his chest.

Answer 1

good job:)

Answer 2

I like this, keep up the good work! Remember to always check your grammar and look for errors each paragraph you write!

Answer 3

you're doing a great job on your own

Answer 4

But may i suggest a little tragedy in the story

Answer 5

gives it a sort of conflict to it

Answer 6

and creating the resolution to tragedies in romance can be so heart warming lol

Answer 7

ooooooo I like itt good job!!

Answer 8

Adorable!!

Answer 9

nicee

Answer 10

\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{Originally Posted by}}\) @SaltTheLoser
and creating the resolution to tragedies in romance can be so heart warming lol
\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{End of Quote}}\)
That's exactly what it needs! Thank you for that helpful suggestion! I'll get right on it and write up some sad stuff lol

Answer 11

Nice

Answer 12

i like it

Answer 13

Its amazing

Answer 14

Added some new stuff since the original post!

Ryu spared the desk from his weight, stood up straight and stretched his left arm across his chest. Yuki couldn’t help but wonder what exactly she planned with him. Unlike Michiko’s fake memory loss, Yuki was plagued by her memory failing her. She wanted to question him further, but Ryu had already finished his stretching and was walking out of the room, most likely assuming that Yuki was following her, in Ryu fashion. His swagger pressed Yuki to follow him. She had no idea what she was walking into.

Ch. 1

“Hey! Michiko! Look out!” Michiko was obviously not paying attention. She looked up to see oncoming traffic, and she was as good as dead. Right before she walked into the street, someone grabbed her shoulders and pulled her back into a hug, She shuddered and thanked the helper. Her boyfriend, Ren, enveloped her, more terrified than her.
“You need to pay attention more!” He scolded her while trying to keep attention away from the couple. She peeped an apology, as it was always a bit intimidating when he got protective. Ren continued to scold her until the crosswalk was adequate to walk on.
“Is something going on?” Ren asked as Michiko glanced at the cars that were waiting, paranoid.
“You’re not usually this scatterbrained.” He explained with a worried look for her. “Well, you are, but not to the point to walking into oncoming traffic.” He smiled.
“I’m fine. You’re just…” She averted her gaze from the cars to unusual shops passing by them. “And?” Ren snickered. She looked up at him pouting. “Nevermind.” He reassured her as they kept walking.
“How was your day?” He asked after a while of silence. “Fine.” Something was off. Michiko was usually an upbeat person, but today she was anything but.


Character building is hard. qwq

Answer 15

Wow good one!

Answer 16

Wow it's good so far :>>

Answer 17

holy the Next Wimpy Kid lol

Answer 18

the next best seller. im loving it. nice job

Answer 19

\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{Originally Posted by}}\) @KazGotFetee
holy the Next Wimpy Kid lol
\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{End of Quote}}\)
ill try my best take that as a compliment

Answer 20

\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{Originally Posted by}}\) @Ashtag
\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{Originally Posted by}}\) @KazGotFetee
holy the Next Wimpy Kid lol
\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{End of Quote}}\)
ill try my best take that as a compliment
\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{End of Quote}}\)
lol but frfr great work!

Answer 21

\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{Originally Posted by}}\) @KazGotFetee
\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{Originally Posted by}}\) @Ashtag
\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{Originally Posted by}}\) @KazGotFetee
holy the Next Wimpy Kid lol
\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{End of Quote}}\)
ill try my best take that as a compliment
\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{End of Quote}}\)
lol but frfr great work!
\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{End of Quote}}\)
Thanks!

Answer 22

Noice

Answer 23

nice kiddo