Here's a short story I'm trying to write, please give me your rating, and if there's anything needed to fix.

The Visit - 0mega

Herald walks into the aged room of his boss's office. Mr. Calvin was looking out the window, down at the many passing people, who like Calvin, were minding their business. Herald didn’t know why Calvin had summoned him to his office at this time of hour; It could’ve been for anything. Calvin turns at the creak of the door to his office opening. “Ah, Mr. Oswald, it seems you were able to make it here on time. Would you like a cup of tea?”
“No thank you. If I may ask,” Herald started, “why did you summon me to your office?”
Mr. Calvin chuckled at this. “Oh, no reason, I’ve just thought we could chat for a bit.” Calvin shows Herald a vibrant velvet chair. Calvin sits down at his own chair - a chair for a king. Herald sits at his own chair, and sternly watches Calvin.
“I wanted to speak to you about your thoughts on this world.” asked Calvin.
“My thoughts on this world?” Herald copies.
Calvin, looks at Herald with serious concern, “Yes Oswald” Calvin confirms.

Herald looks around the room, old, dusty books about war and business lined the shelves, pictures of deceased boss’s tilted in their frames. And then here was Calvin, a man with an old age, his head holding scars from past mistakes. Herald didn’t belong here. Herald was like every other person out there on the streets.
“Oswald are you alright?” Calvin breaks the silence.
Herald looks back up at Calvin, after seemingly staring at the floor for an unwanted amount of time. “Oh, u-um yes” stuttered Herald. “My views on the world? I really don’t know sir.” Herald manages to say before Calvin spoke again.
“You don’t know? Then why did I call you here Oswald? Did I call you here to make jokes and gossip about the higher-ups in this world?” Calvin asked.

Question

Here's a short story I'm trying to write, please give me your rating, and if there's anything needed to fix.

The Visit - 0mega

Herald walks into the aged room of his boss's office. Mr. Calvin was looking out the window, down at the many passing people, who like Calvin, were minding their business. Herald didn’t know why Calvin had summoned him to his office at this time of hour; It could’ve been for anything. Calvin turns at the creak of the door to his office opening. “Ah, Mr. Oswald, it seems you were able to make it here on time. Would you like a cup of tea?”
“No thank you. If I may ask,” Herald started, “why did you summon me to your office?”
Mr. Calvin chuckled at this. “Oh, no reason, I’ve just thought we could chat for a bit.” Calvin shows Herald a vibrant velvet chair. Calvin sits down at his own chair - a chair for a king. Herald sits at his own chair, and sternly watches Calvin. 
“I wanted to speak to you about your thoughts on this world.” asked Calvin. 
“My thoughts on this world?” Herald copies.
	Calvin, looks at Herald with serious concern, “Yes Oswald” Calvin confirms.
	
	Herald looks around the room, old, dusty books about war and business lined the shelves, pictures of deceased boss’s tilted in their frames. And then here was Calvin, a man with an old age, his head holding scars from past mistakes. Herald didn’t belong here. Herald was like every other person out there on the streets. 
	“Oswald are you alright?” Calvin breaks the silence.
	Herald looks back up at Calvin, after seemingly staring at the floor for an unwanted amount of time. “Oh, u-um yes” stuttered Herald. “My views on the world? I really don’t know sir.” Herald manages to say before Calvin spoke again.
	“You don’t know? Then why did I call you here Oswald? Did I call you here to make jokes and gossip about the higher-ups in this world?” Calvin asked.

Itzjxdn14 · Answer

nah thats good bro

AddyM · Answer

I love it !

0mega · Answer

@addym wrote:

I love it !

Thank you :)

Jocelynn · Answer

oml nice job!!

xxemilianaxx · Answer

That's pretty nice broski

0mega · Answer

@xxemilianaxx wrote:

That's pretty nice broski

Thanks

xxemilianaxx · Answer

You gonna write more to it?

0mega · Answer

@xxemilianaxx wrote:

You gonna write more to it?

I will, just wanted to show some users my story writing capabilities ig

xxemilianaxx · Answer

Lmao dude your good at this if people say otherwise it's their loss🤷‍♀️

@0mega wrote:

@xxemilianaxx wrote:

You gonna write more to it?

I will, just wanted to show some users my story writing capabilities ig

200082741 · Answer

It's really good

0mega · Answer

@200082741 wrote:

It's really good

Thank you

carmelle · Answer

I like this story. great job :D

0mega · Answer

@carmelle wrote:

I like this story. great job :D

Thank you

carmelle · Answer

np :>

EmilyHerron · Answer

Super good!! great job

0mega · Answer

@emilyherron wrote:

Super good!! great job

Thank you very much

EmilyHerron · Answer

@0mega wrote:

@emilyherron wrote:

Super good!! great job

Thank you very much

Yw:)

Sofia123 · Answer

love it

0mega · Answer

@sofia123 wrote:

love it

Thank you

Gorillaz1002 · Answer

*chef's kiss* its  perfect

Pugsncoffee · Answer

Please write more oh my god--

0mega · Answer

I'll try writing more tomorrow, thanks for the feed back lol

EmilyHerron · Answer

@pugsncoffee wrote:

Please write more oh my god--

IKRRR it's sooo good

Pugsncoffee · Answer

@0mega wrote:

I'll try writing more tomorrow, thanks for the feed back lol

It was super good.. I really enjoyed it.. The writing was extremely descriptive..

0mega · Answer

@pugsncoffee wrote:

@0mega wrote:

I'll try writing more tomorrow, thanks for the feed back lol

It was super good.. I really enjoyed it.. The writing was extremely descriptive..

Thank you :)

Shawnte · Answer

I think this wouldve been better in 1st person instead of 3rd.....seeing the setting and scenario is...

0mega · Answer

@shawnte wrote:

I think this wouldve been better in 1st person instead of 3rd.....seeing the setting and scenario is...

is?

Shawnte · Answer

@0mega wrote:

@shawnte wrote:

I think this wouldve been better in 1st person instead of 3rd.....seeing the setting and scenario is...

is?

i meant to say *that is* but I didn't feel like making another post

0mega · Answer

ah I see

Lynix · Answer

love it

0mega · Answer

@lynix wrote:

love it

Thank you

karissafrazier · Answer

i love it as well

karissafrazier · Answer

even if it isn't a wolf story

0mega · Answer

@karissafrazier wrote:

i love it as well

Thank you

Ashely · Answer

Really nice, good work

wolfiegirl · Answer

Good job!

snowflake0531 · Answer

I think that you could add a bit more detail on what the characters are thinking throughout this entire course of conversation

0mega · Answer

@snowflake0531 wrote:

I think that you could add a bit more detail on what the characters are thinking throughout this entire course of conversation

Thank you for the feedback I'll try to implement that when I work on it again

poopoopeepee · Answer

Herald walks into the aged room of his boss's office. Mr. Calvin was looking out the window, down at the many passing people, who like Calvin, were minding their business. Herald didn’t know why Calvin had summoned him to his office at this time of hour; It could’ve been for anything. Calvin turns at the creak of the door to his office opening. “Ah, Mr. Oswald, it seems you were able to make it here on time. Would you like a cup of tea?”

You're mixing past and present tense here. Try to stay consistent. Words after semicolons don't need capitalization as they're part of the same sentence.

Mr. Calvin chuckled at this. “Oh, no reason, I’ve just thought we could chat for a bit.” Calvin shows Herald a vibrant velvet chair. Calvin sits down at his own chair - a chair for a king. Herald sits at his own chair, and sternly watches Calvin. 
“I wanted to speak to you about your thoughts on this world.” asked Calvin. 
“My thoughts on this world?” Herald copies.

"Shows" is probably not the word you're looking for here - maybe beckons or gestures towards. "Sternly" has connotations of displeasure towards inferiors that I don't think you're trying to imply.

Herald looks around the room, old, dusty books about war and business lined the shelves, pictures of deceased boss’s tilted in their frames. And then here was Calvin, a man with an old age, his head holding scars from past mistakes. Herald didn’t belong here. Herald was like every other person out there on the streets. 
	“Oswald are you alright?” Calvin breaks the silence.

Might want to work on your copy editing. Lots of grammatical errors throughout the excerpt. "Boss's" is possessive; you want to use "bosses" here.

Overall it's not a bad introduction to a work but I think that the grammatical errors and misuse of words detract from the reading.

0mega · Answer

Thanks for the feedback, I tried to implement "bosses" in the second paragraph but received an error on how it was wrong.

poopoopeepee · Answer

From who? I think it should be obvious that you mean the plural usage and not the possessive usage. There aren't any apostrophes in the plural form of that word.

0mega · Answer

No, it was an underlined error on google docs

poopoopeepee · Answer

It's probably because of issues in your earlier clause in that sentence: "Herald looks around the room, old, dusty books about war and business lined the shelves, pictures of deceased boss’s tilted in their frames."

You added a bunch of random commas that probably confused the grammar parser.

0mega · Answer

the comma in between old and dusty was supposed to be there, hmm

poopoopeepee · Answer

The comma between old and dusty is option because you're only listing two things. The commas between room and old should not be there: you aren't separating the two independent clauses correctly.

poopoopeepee · Answer

*optional

0mega · Answer

I see the error now, imma fix it in the doc lol

Honda · Answer

So i ran a grammar check cuz I'm horrid at it and found a few things.
" world.” " should change to " world,”"
"And then here was Calvin" should change to "And then there was Calvin"
" a man with an old age" should change to " a man with old age"

that's all i found for now

0mega · Answer

@honda wrote:

So i ran a grammar check cuz I'm horrid at it and found a few things. " world.” " should change to " world,”" "And then here was Calvin" should change to "And then there was Calvin" " a man with an old age" should change to " a man with old age" that's all i found for now

let me implement these, thanks!

XxDeadxXOnAz · Answer

yo thats actully teally good

imbadkidjenna · Answer

perfect

0mega · Answer

@imbadkidjenna wrote:

perfect

Thank you

0mega · Answer

@xxdeadxxonaz wrote:

yo thats actully teally good

Thanks

Pugsncoffee · Answer

@0mega wrote:

@pugsncoffee wrote:

@0mega wrote:

I'll try writing more tomorrow, thanks for the feed back lol

It was super good.. I really enjoyed it.. The writing was extremely descriptive..

Thank you :)

Youre very welcome!!

noneofyourbusiness · Answer

8/10 :)

M00n123 · Answer

11/10❤️

0mega · Answer

@m00n123 wrote:

11/10❤️

Thanks :)

M00n123 · Answer

Yes npp(:

fentyf4iry · Answer

the detail and story telling is so good! infinity/10. would recommend

0mega · Answer

@fentyf4iry wrote:

the detail and story telling is so good! infinity/10. would recommend

Thank you!

fentyf4iry · Answer

ofccc

0mega · Answer

Attention all. I will be closing this post soon to post the part two to my story soon.

RomMosher · Answer

It's good make sure all the grammar and spelling is right.