i need some opinions for my rising action for my narrative . it is based off the song mansion by NF

After my mother died, I built another room in my mind. This room is full of regrets and it just keeps getting fuller it seems. He moment I walk in is the moment I want to leave. I get sick to my stomach every time I look at these things. One of the worst things I wrote on this wall was the moment I realized I lost my mom. One of the first things I wrote was ‘’I wish I would’ve called. But I didn’t and know I’ve lost my mom.

Physically abused, that’s a room that I don’t want to be in. I’ve got to thank this fake family for this anger that I carry around. I’ve taken a match to this room but for some treason these memories just won’t burn down. You used to put me in the corner so you can see the fear in my eyes then took my downstairs and beat me till I’m screamed, and I cried. Congratulation you will now always have a room in my mind but I’m going to keep the doors locked so no one is able to hurt me anymore

Question

i need some opinions for my rising action for my narrative . it is based off the song mansion by NF

After my mother died, I built another room in my mind. This room is full of regrets and it just keeps getting fuller it seems. He moment I walk in is the moment I want to leave. I get sick to my stomach every time I look at these things. One of the worst things I wrote on this wall was the moment I realized I lost my mom. One of the first things I wrote was ‘’I wish I would’ve called. But I didn’t and know I’ve lost my mom.

Physically abused, that’s a room that I don’t want to be in. I’ve got to thank this fake family for this anger that I carry around. I’ve taken a match to this room but for some treason these memories just won’t burn down. You used to put me in the corner so you can see the fear in my eyes then took my downstairs and beat me till I’m screamed, and I cried. Congratulation you will now always have a room in my mind but I’m going to keep the doors locked so no one is able to hurt me anymore

byakuyatogami1234 · Answer

i love it still. so beutiful. (gimme badge plz)

bbynadie · Answer

It's amazing , i am proud of you for all the work an effort you put in to this your amazing in your skills i always wanted to do things like this and this inspires me to do something like this! i hope you have a great day and keep using your amazing skills!

lea0728 · Answer

first before i answer what grade are you i

NoodlesAndRiceYT · Answer

ok but i was actually thinking of nf before i saw this question post, woa

ThatWeirdo · Answer

@lea0728 wrote:

first before i answer what grade are you i

9th

lea0728 · Answer

@thatweirdo wrote:

@lea0728 wrote:

first before i answer what grade are you i

9th

ok first the room thing where you are trapped in a room in your mind or you create a room it is very coming or peps to use that a lot try using something more unique like a maze with all my memory jumbled up of my mom in there very corner and turn there is like there no end type of thing or a boot that never ends the room is so used and from experiences cuz I have lost my mom its nothing like a room its like a haunted house instead

ThatWeirdo · Answer

@lea0728 wrote:

@thatweirdo wrote:

@lea0728 wrote:

first before i answer what grade are you i

9th

ok first the room thing where you are trapped in a room in your mind or you create a room it is very coming or peps to use that a lot try using something more unique like a maze with all my memory jumbled up of my mom in there very corner and turn there is like there no end type of thing or a boot that never ends the room is so used and from experiences cuz I have lost my mom its nothing like a room its like a haunted house instead

omg thank you that is so much better. i really suck at writing. thank youuuu