I wrote something for my teacher (My answers) it is an essay, but not too long. 1 Intro, 2 body paragraphs, and 1 conclusion. It is about the amendments but also a zombie apocalypse. Tell me if I need to add anything to my essay or anything I could fix.

Question

Rylee88 · Answer

INSTRUCTIONS:
 The world has been ravaged by a devastating Zombie apocalypse! The good news… you have not been eaten by Zombies, or worst yet bitten and become Zombie-fied! The bad news… the world as you knew it has been forever changed. There is now a new government forming and this government has asked YOU to help lead it through a post-apocalyptic world. Your task is to write a multi-paragraph essay addressing the following questions: Now that the apocalypse has ended, which of the Bill of Rights amendments would you retain and why? If you were to make new amendments for your Bill of Rights, what would they be and why? Be sure to explain what your post- apocalyptic world looks like. Be sure to use proper grammar and punctuation. Be creative!!! You will be graded on a 4- point rubric (same as your ELA class) Your essay must have an Introduction, Body paragraphs, and a Conclusion. his assignment is graded out of 40 points Ex: a 4 for “Purpose, Focus and Organization” a 4 for “Evidence and Elaboration” a 2 for “Conventions of English” Equals 10/10 = 40/40

Rylee88 · Answer

My work:

MidniteSunny · Answer

1. oki first of all CHU LUCKY DUCK I WOULD KILL FOR DAT KIND OF FUN ASSIGNMENT 
2. second of all "What my post apocalypse would look like-" perhaps change dat "-" to a ":"
3. bit of a sentence suggestion/change "A lot of buildings are run down, as if they've been sitting, being dark, creepy, decaying there for 80 years."

MidniteSunny · Answer

imma like edit as i read dis and send chu a doc of ze revisions, if das oki

Rylee88 · Answer

Oh, you already did haha my bad.

Rylee88 · Answer

@midnitesunny wrote:

1. oki first of all CHU LUCKY DUCK I WOULD KILL FOR DAT KIND OF FUN ASSIGNMENT 2. second of all "What my post apocalypse would look like-" perhaps change dat "-" to a ":" 3. bit of a sentence suggestion/change "A lot of buildings are run down, as if they've been sitting, being dark, creepy, decaying there for 80 years."

2- Change what to "a" 3- Very nice, I love that!

MidniteSunny · Answer

SOWWY ISH TAKIN SO LONG BTW AM ALSO LIKE IN ZE MIDDLE OF RETAKING A TEST 
i meant change ze hyphen to a colon btw

Rylee88 · Answer

Oh, very sorry. Take your time! Not due until December 3rd haha. But thank you I love that word decaying I never thought of that! You're brilliant.

kaleighh533 · Answer

Your essay looks really good the punctuation's an everything look good as well. The only thing I see wrong in my opinion is your 2nd body paragraph and conclusion, they kind of sound the same if you look at them, your basically explaining the same thing over. In my opinion I would try an change one of them up a bit to make it were their less comparative to each other. Other than that i think your essay is great!

MidniteSunny · Answer

@rylee88 https://docs.google.com/document/d/1y-ZkMouPv_CmuD5No7G2cGmWvNeSyinL7MOjfq-Y4Gs/edit?usp=sharing

Rylee88 · Answer

@kaleighh533 wrote:

Your essay looks really good the punctuation's an everything look good as well. The only thing I see wrong in my opinion is your 2nd body paragraph and conclusion, they kind of sound the same if you look at them, your basically explaining the same thing over. In my opinion I would try an change one of them up a bit to make it were their less comparative to each other. Other than that i think your essay is great!

I'll take a re-read. 1st Paragraph is about the 2nd amendment and the 2nd is about not having to have permits, conclusion: You have to summarize the two paragraphs so it is supposed to sound the same.

Rylee88 · Answer

@midnitesunny wrote:

@rylee88 https://docs.google.com/document/d/1y-ZkMouPv_CmuD5No7G2cGmWvNeSyinL7MOjfq-Y4Gs/edit?usp=sharing

That is amazing, thank you!

MidniteSunny · Answer

nu problem !

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