Question

Hello! I'm writing a story! It's about....

A girl named Ellie Nova Aspen, and she is a Wolf-Human kind of species! Well, she had a childhood best friend, his name was Ashton Apollo Woods...then she had to move away to an all Human village...then when she reaches High School, she meets Ashton, but they don't know yet that they knew each other when they were younger! THEN, they start liking each other, and then he says he likes her, the same way he siad it, as he was younger, then she asked if it was him, and that's how she found out! Please comment some more ideas, or also comment for improvements! THANK YOU!

Answer 1

ypu should deffinetly add more details rather than just pilling it like this: ¨once a girl likd a boy and then in 6 grad ethey started dating¨ yeaah u need to add more details and make the readers wait for the exitement.

Answer 2

like well teh story is good its just so short bc u cramed everything in there, you need to like pause and stuff yknow?

Answer 3

1st: " she is a Wolf-Human kind of species!" Do you mean a Wear-Wolf?
2nd: "then she had to move away to an all Human village..." That makes it sound like there all Wear-Wolves, are they?
3rd: "then when she reaches High School, she meets Ashton, but they don't know yet that they knew each other when they were younger! " So it went into the future? Because if she had just moved that means they moved at the same time, try elaborating on that one more.
4th: "THEN, they start liking each other, and then he says he likes her" So, in your story, I would hope you explain their relationship more and tell how they started to like each other.
5th: "the same way he said it, as he was younger, then she asked if it was him, and that's how she found out!" So, because he said the same words, that is automatically assumed that he was the same one. Instead of inferring that his name was the same and she could have asked if he was the same one? I personally think that you could try to make the last part a little more realistic. Depending on the type of story you are making.

Answer 4

There's a lot of things that need to be addressed. You say that the girl is a werewolf from her own village yet she attends a high school? Is the time period set in the Middle Ages or present day?? Is this boy she likes a werewolf as well or is he human? She didn't recognize her childhood friend but when he says that he loves her (in a probably much deeper and mature voice than when he was a little kid) and she recognizes him based off of that??

Where's the main plot? Surely you have more in mind than just a teen romance? We need to have bigger plots involved. Perhaps the werewolf is being hunted by humans and she has to keep her powers secret? Maybe there's a monster in town that the main character has to fight? Where is the bigger plot? People need to see more than just a mere romance. Perhaps check out MTV's Teen Wolf. I thought that handed out the werewolf plot pretty well.

Basically, choose a time period for your story, create additional plot points, and add some personality to this story. Does the werewolf secretly use her powers to assist her with sports? Is there any additional love interests for her or her lover?? You need to give people a legitimate reason to care about your story and identify with your characters.

Answer 5

Pretty good so far, however I agree with everyone else, needs some fixes.

Answer 6

Hello there, Cherry. Your story appears to be in need of more detail. There is a lot of work to be done. More details should be included, as well as some emotion and dialogue. To me, it reads like a long run-on sentence. Organize your thoughts into paragraphs with more information. Explain how they seem, be as specific as possible, but don't leave the reader in the dark.

Answer 7

I love your story so far very thorough and grasping, can use a little bit more but I love the detailing thus far! Keep it up!!

Answer 8

I feel like you could word it better

Answer 9

There's a lot of things that need to be addressed. You say that the girl is a werewolf from her own village yet she attends a high school? Is the time period set in the Middle Ages or present day?? Is this boy she likes a werewolf as well or is he human? She didn't recognize her childhood friend but when he says that he loves her (in a probably much deeper and mature voice than when he was a little kid) and she recognizes him based off of that??

Where's the main plot? Surely you have more in mind than just a teen romance? We need to have bigger plots involved. Perhaps the werewolf is being hunted by humans and she has to keep her powers secret? Maybe there's a monster in town that the main character has to fight? Where is the bigger plot? People need to see more than just a mere romance. Perhaps check out MTV's Teen Wolf. I thought that handed out the werewolf plot pretty well.

Basically, choose a time period for your story, create additional plot points, and add some personality to this story. Does the werewolf secretly use her powers to assist her with sports? Is there any additional love interests for her or her lover?? You need to give people a legitimate reason to care about your story and identify with your characters.

lol

Answer 10

There is so much contrast in your story and a lot of it is too Gacha Life Mini Movie that flops type of stuff. The plot can work but there NEEDS to be a lot of work added on to it

Answer 11

myths like Were wolf men, could add in Frankenstein and stuff if you want.

Answer 12

I can't wait to read this when you are done, writing it. < 3

Answer 13

cool!

Answer 14

Well I love it so far keep up the good work 👍👍