Question

Yo.. so I finished my essay... can I get some helpful feedback?

Answer 1

I already have 2 things and I'm not done the intro...First I think the thesis/Attention grabber needs a bit more and I think it should be "Industrialization has occurred all over the world"

Answer 2

Ok.

Answer 3

The last line of your intro also makes no sense at all. No offense

Answer 4

Instead of saying "This is basically saying" maybe say "In this document it suggest..."blah, blah, blah"

Answer 5

Also instead of saying "Some pretty obvious reasons" you should maybe say "Some crucial factors that contributes to rising sea levels.

Answer 6

Ok thank you!

Answer 7

Maybe also say "Not only can they be a problem on their own, they can cause many issues relating to the rising sea levels"

Answer 8

I can't think of what to say for that one

Answer 9

drip ice ring lellel on mr clean

Answer 10

Third paragraph is also missing a citing to the author of that quote

Answer 11

Also it's not "Rising sea levels is a problem" I would suggest saying " The levels of sea rising is a problem" sounds more formal and makes the grammar work

Answer 12

Sorry for all that criticism now to say some goof things about it :)

Answer 13

I have to convert everything to apa formatting now e.e

Answer 14

Sounds good!!

Answer 15

Thing is, APA formatting is the most confusing thing ever.

Answer 16

I like the way you introduced new topics, I also liked the way you used proper grammar and things like that. Overall small errors but nothing major is missing. I like it a lot. Keep it up!

Answer 17

thanks :p