Question

song called alone thoughts ideas to change it


I'm all alone in this house alone
No one by my side it worries me
All the time i'm going insane im
In so much pain sometimes
I just wanna look the other way

Looking down feel like i'm drowning
There's no one around there I was dropped
Down to the ground i'm all in my head
Wondering what I did to be sleeping alone
In the bed

Sometimes I lay my head at night
Feeling all this pain and I wonder
(oh I wonder) what I would do
If I still had you

You were by my side all the time
Now all you left was my life on the
Line All I have left is another dime
I wish sometimes this was all a lie


I tried so hard to make the pain go away
But all you ever see is the hurt on my face
You think it's fine you think i'm alright
But i'm out of breath trying to end this fight

Answer 1

@CrackedNuts

Answer 2

Love it:)

Answer 3

dang its gud great job keep up the gud work!!!

Answer 4

@nettym

Answer 5

can you sing this id love to hear it

Answer 6

its pretty good i would suggest changing the opening line tho to somthing first off that rhymes and secound off that will lead the listenears to the meaning, also im assuming its a rap song, because if not just mabye write a corus to add to it,and also it kinda sounds like your telling a story and stories should have endings and your song ending is what we call a cliffhanger it leaves us with a question because you could very well just continue singing from there instead of ending it because it dosent really make sense what happened to his feelings, did he end the fight, is he still fighting you have to find a way to deciper that by contuiening the song, but thats just like general song writing tough love other than that its really good