Question

I wrote a story how does it look?

Answer 1

Adam wakes up to a phone call and when he answers the phone, he starts getting yelled at by Nicole, his girlfriend. She yells at him, asking him who’s on the phone. They are both on the bed in their room, so he gets up and walks to the living room and goes out the front door. Adam looks at his car and decides to get in and drive away from the house. When he leaves, he starts to talk to his friend Eli. His friend Eli wanted to go over to his house to chill, relax, and play games with him. Adam ends up being distracted by the phone call he got, and when he looked up, there was another car in front of him that ran a red light. Then he went to swerve, and the car flipped over and landed on top of the other person’s hood.    The person in the other car got out slowly and was lucky to be alive. “Her name was Jamie.” Jamie was so scared of what just happened that she fell over and passed out from Adams’ car colliding into her car. When that happened, she got a concussion from hitting her head. Jamie’s head was bleeding from being split open when she hit it.    Adam was awake and still looking fine, other than the cut and broken nose he got. His leg was fractured and he had a mild concussion, so he was taken to the hospital with Jamie. When they both arrived at the hospital, they were across the room from one another, so when they both woke up, they could see the other person. Their concussions made them not remember anything, but they could remember what the other person looked like.   Then, when they did wake up, they saw each other and thought they knew one another because they couldn’t remember anything but what the other person looked like. When they looked across the room, they started to remember little details of the accident, “(like how Adam was on his phone when driving and how Jamie was running a red light.” Jamie remembered running the red light, but she didn’t tell them that because she was afraid of getting arrested and being put in jail. Adam remembered being on his phone when driving, and he also didn’t want to tell them that for the same reason. They lied to each other, and the hospital asked if they wanted to press charges against the other person. They both said no, and then they both went home after 2 weeks of recovery, never to see the other person again.

Answer 2

its bad but heres a medal

Answer 3

Lol

Answer 4

The end may be a little wacky but i was in a hurry.

Answer 5

I think it's interesting I liked it good job : D

Answer 6

Thank you @emiwolf 🙏

Answer 7

your welcome : D

Answer 8

its goood!

Answer 9

its good but it ong needs a little bit of work

Answer 10

it looks good but im not reading it cause im tired

Answer 11

Too long bruh I just give medal too awesome lol

Answer 12

awesome

Answer 13

jeck jeck jecque jecke @jeck

Answer 14

Thats amazing. You did great. I see that you took your time on it, and it turned out really well. I think you should write more, this is far from amazing. Keep up the good work homie.

Answer 15

But here is a medal. Cus you deserve one

Answer 16

Ay remember you only fail, when you give up or quit. So keep goin. Follow your heart. You don't need a new day to start over, you only need a new mindset

Answer 17

bad

Answer 18

I like it. i mean im not a writer or anything so ion know the difference between a good and a bad story. So its a good story in my eyes :)

Answer 19

VERY niceu

Answer 20

could use some work but you did good, keep it up :)

Answer 21

I think you did a very well job, I don't know why @doubleencrustedtoe said it was bad. I could tell it was a little rushed near the end but it was pretty good.

Answer 22

to be critical here, it is definitely bad.

the sentence structures were repetitive and stayed the same.
_subject_ _verb_

also, show instead of tell; in the entire story, all you're doing is telling us what happened. we want detail and description, as well as a more unique plotline

Answer 23

its bad not even gonna lie

Answer 24

I think you should scrap this story, and try writing a different story using the advice people have given you. try practicing and your writing should be a little bit better.

Answer 25

Good Job! People say it's bad but I think it's good and interesting. I can think of this as a creative process and I really like it personally.

Answer 26

I think you did so good, I look forward to reading more

Answer 27

I think you should revise it and publish it or something

Answer 28

I believe that was a very good story thank you for sharing. =D

Answer 29

awesome you will be a good aurthor

Answer 30

skipped through sounds good but im too lazy to read it all lmao

Answer 31

Stories are really nice to write, just remember that if you are a writer try to keep a pencil or pen with you at all time just in case a story hits you in the face. (Metaphorically speaking)

Answer 32

amazing

Answer 33

WOW! I really like this, amazing job. Keep it up. I'm looking forward to reading more stories from you.

Answer 34

that's really good like fr fr

Answer 35

Its a little rushed. You didn't explain the characters feelings well. I didnt read much, I just skimmed through it. There was a few errors in your spelling. Considering there is only 4 paragraphs, it's obvious it was very rushed. Try making pages, after pages of it. Add detail, feelings and all that nice stuff :) I read 2 paragraphs, and a little more but its fine besides all this.

Answer 36

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┃┃╱┃┃╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱┃┃╱╱╱┃┃
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┃╭━╮┣┫┃╭╮┃┃━┫╭╮┃╭╮┃┃┃┃━╋╯
┃┃╱┃┃┃┃╰╯┃┃━┫╰╯┃╰╯┃╰┫┃━╋╮
╰╯╱╰┻╯┃╭━┻━━┻━━┫╭━┻━┻━━┻╯
╱╱╱╱╱╱┃┃╱╱╱╱╱╱╱┃┃
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Answer 37

Its good overall, but could use some work on the vocabulary.

Answer 38

And story line

Answer 39

oh my god you write storys so do i and your is amazing!!!

Answer 40

*yours

Answer 41

I think it was really nice

Answer 42

Depressing

Answer 43

It’s not depressing by the way it is or was a story on my English project it was actually a small essay i had to do.

Answer 44

get blue

Answer 45

Ok ok

Answer 46

Imma tryin

Answer 47

If you guys say its rushed its because i was timed.

Answer 48

I thought it was a love story

Answer 49

5-10 minutes

Answer 50

Thank u! :)

Answer 51

how do you do a story that well in such time-

Answer 52

I just type fast and think faster

Answer 53

I have a ton of creativity

Answer 54

i wanna try >:)

Answer 55

wait no i dont

Answer 56

never mind bc i dont know what it should be about

Answer 57

I could help you think of a topic.

Answer 58

i did spinny wheely tingy ill do that for characters as well then set a 10 min timer

Answer 59

Ok

Answer 60

its good but long lol

Answer 61

When you are ready just (DM) me so we can use a docs to write what story you want.

Answer 62

ok

Answer 63

I think you did really good

Answer 64

its good but i feel like it needs a lil editing (like rephrasing some of the sentences to make it look more professional ) but its alr.

Answer 65

Yes ill do that i was just in a rush, took me 5-10 minutes to do this.

Answer 66

It looks like a story

Answer 67

it's cool, but there are quotations mars, and such but no end to them.

Answer 68

Ik that’s because i was in a rush. It took me 5-10 minutes to do this.

Answer 69

@letsgoooo

Answer 70

yuh?

Answer 71

sigh, why do ppl always one-up me?

Answer 72

Lol

Answer 73

@!#$@#$ Y'all i cant, u all cant write story in 5 mins and I can only write a decent one in 2 days two 24 hours

Answer 74

can*

Answer 75

What grade are you in?

Answer 76

7'th pfffffffff

Answer 77

im too short for my age

Answer 78

why...???????????????????????

Answer 79

Take this into the all subjects chat please

Answer 80

YOU ask me-

Answer 81

its good not go lie

Answer 82

good

Answer 83

Amazing!

Answer 84

Stories are really nice to write, just remember that if you are a writer try to keep a pencil or pen with you at all time just in case a story hits you in the face. (Metaphorically speaking)

Answer 85

Of the many things I have read, this is quite lousy in comparison to nearly all of them. The grammatical errors make me shudder, no offence intended. That being said, at least you gave it a shot.

Answer 86

skipped through cus im lazy seems good tho

Answer 87

its great not gonna lie