Question

Everybody was calling their parents and friends to come pick them up. Some people had cars so they could just drive off the parking lot. I called my mom so she could pick me up, but she never answered. I kept calling her tho. She finally picked up the phone.

“What do you want bella you know i'm at work,” she said

I rolled my eyes because who answers the phone like that.

“ My school caught on fire and I need a ride home.”

“I can't pick you up Bella, I'm at work so youre gonna have to find a different way to get there. Get an uber or something, I’ll give you the money back.”

She never pays me back so that wasn't going to happen and I don't even know why I called her because I can never count on her.

“Okay, I’ll just see if somebody else can take me home. And I might call off work because this is a lot.”

I work at The Build-A-Bear Workshop in the mall every day after school. I started working there because of Lemar. His big brother worked there and they needed more staff. Lemar told him I was good with kids, since they get a lot of kids that come in there.

“Ok so that means you shouldnt be late getting home. And when you get home you need to do your homework”

“Yes ma’am”

Click. I hung up the phone and stood on the sidewalk thinking about what I should do. But before I can even look up the location for the uber, Lemar is walking my way. He was over there talking to his friends and stuff.

“Hey, Bella,” he says.

“Hey, Lemar. What do you want?”

“Damn, why I always gotta want something. I was coming to see if you needed a ride.”

Answer 1

Good start. Just fix some of your grammatical spelling errors such as "tho." And make the meaning of the story more representative of itself and clear. Me, as a reader, am wondering: "What is this about?"

Answer 2

I posted the first part before this, i can post it here if you want to read it

Answer 3

'hey lamar what do you want' lmao

Answer 4

Thats chapter 2

Answer 5

“Bella! Bella!” I heard a familiar voice say as I awakened from my deep sleep. It's just something about those brick solid school desks that put me to sleep so fast. I heard the fire alarm ringing. Briiing! Briiing! Briiing! I was guessing it was another fire drill or somebody pulled the alarm again. I mean it has happened 6 times in the last month.

Where I live, we always have to do fire drills. It's literally mandatory. I go to California Preparatory academy(Cali Prep for short), but the famous nickname for our school is The Fire Hazard because it's the driest area around here. I live in Ranchos Palos Verdes, California where fires are an everyday thing. Just last week, a gas station blew up on Maple street because the ground was so dry. But that's another story for another time.

“Bella wake up, it's a fire!” I look up to see the love of my life, Lamar. I mean yea our relationship was toxic, and yea he broke my heart several times, but i loved him and i still do. And I just know that he still loves me too. We were each other's first love.

Lamar and I met on the first day of school at California College Preparatory School. It was my first day of junior high and Lamar had showed me around. Man when I tell you I was so lost. He showed me to all of my classes and introduced me to his friends. We had the same lunch period, so I sat with him. We’re in our junior year now.

“Did somebody pull the alarm again?” I ask as I get up.

“Bruh, No it's for real this time. Bella wake up,” Lamar says.

“I'm up! I'm up! Jeez,” I say.

I get up and walk towards the door but as I reach for the knob I can feel the heat coming off of it. So I tried the other door but that door was hot too.

“Bella, it's not going to work. Now we’re both stuck because I came back to save your Pizza.”

“You didn’t have to.”

“But i did”

“Why,” I say as I try to open the window from the second floor.

“Because I love you Bella and I don't want anything bad to happen to you. But this is what I get for letting my emotions get the best of me. Now I'm gonna die. No, we’re gonna die.”

I manage to open the window enough to fit my body through.

“Lemar! Shut up ranting and raving and listen to me. We’re gonna have to jump.”

“Aw hell nah now I'm really gonna die. What you think im white? Black people don't just go jumping out of windows,” he says pacing back and forth like he actually has a choice.
“Okay then die.”

I get ready to jump out of the window but I feel Lemar grab my arm. I look up at him.

“Bella, wait let me go first,” he says.
See here he goes again being a selfish stuck up prick like he’s always been. He just wants to save his own life and the real reason he came back for me is not because loves me, It's because he loves being loved by me. I'm the only one in this entire school that will put up with his sorry behind.

“Bruh really? In a time like this you’re putting yourself first? People never really change do they?” I say not really asking a question, it's more like a statement but of course knowing him he’ll answer a question that's not meant to be answered.

“Bella people do change and I’m not putting myself first…. Well not really. I Just wanna go first so when you jump I’ll be there to break your fall.”

“What's the catch Lemar?”

“There is no catch. Like I said `mi amor I really care about you.”

I rolled my eyes but I let him go first. As I watch him jump out of the window I can see a bunch of kids crowding around underneath the window. I hear sirens and see flashing lights. The news channels are here. That's new because that never really happens. I jump out of the window and I kind of do a roll so I won't break every muscle in my body by trying to land on my feet. Lemar helped me up as I dusted myself off.

And all of this was just the beginning.

Answer 6

What is the subject of the story?

Answer 7

Tbh idek yet i just started writing. Its gonna be like a teen romance/drama type stuff

Answer 8

Good luck.

Answer 9

It sounds good just there r some errors and miss spelled things that need fixed

Answer 10

cried