Question

I know this isn't the best. And it's really long so I'm gonna put it down below. But let me know what you think

Answer 1

Since yesterday I been crying, me n my mom always fighting. Its been days since I did wrong, she ain't noticing how hard I'm trying. Sad and depressed, I always am feeling stressed. Yesterday went to the kitchen for a snack while I was there my mom said "Hey, come back" "Ok" I said bout to go back. Till she said "Just stay and do what your doing just look at me" I said "m ok" she went on a rant just telling me all the things I can't seem to be- a good daughter, a good friend, a good sister, just everything. Though it hurt I ain't cry but she ain't stopping yet sadly. Starting to feel dizzy, n things are looking blurry. But I ain't saying nun cuz then it'll just be used against me. I blink twice and two more times, she looks at me n asks if I'm lying. I tilt my head n look at her n say the worst thing I coulda said "Can you repeat that? I'm sorry I wasn't listening" she stood up n looked up and down at me. Saying "You always do this, you driving me crazy" I just keeping saying "Sorry" but she just saying "Girl you gotta stop lying to me" tryna focus my vision ain't ain't the best, was gonna tell her but instead. She starts to yell and look at me saying she missed the old me and how I used to be. She got me thinking bout all those things, the good the bad and the ugly. I look at her quietly listening tryna be brave n good. I open my mouth to say something but she cuts me off like I'm nothing and no good. She starts making fun of me for when I was depressed, saying "Babygirl stop acting like you stressed" "You ain't have my childhood things could been worse" then she go once more making sure my heart's dropped to the floor. She tells me I ain't got no reason to be suicidal. Since in the past I was, telling me "You needa stop wanting someone to love you, at this rate you ain't getting it in the way you be wanting it trust me" tears building up in my eyes trying so hard not to cry. Still standing where I am doing my best not fall to the floor. My head's hurting, my stomach's churning my eyes are burning. "imma go lay down" I say but she say "hold up, you stay" I stay where I am, she gets a bit close to me tho still far telling me "Stop tryna have a pity party, your cold and selfish. And always wanting attention, keep it up and Imma show you something that you've been missing." Got my hands in my pockets, like I do when I'm anxious n scared she noticed it n looks at me. Telling me to "stop being a b-" She sits back down on the bed, saying "Ugh my head" I turn around n get my drink holding in my tears tryna think. Close the fridge bout to head back, "Stop" she says and I look back. "Yes ma'am?" I say tryna sound good "hold up, look up" I look at her more clearly "You say you been suicidal, but your still here. So stop trying to act like your not good, it p.isses me off when you do that, I been through
hell and back and ain't been that- hold up scratch that yes I have. But the only thing that bothers me is you ain't got no reason to be. You listen to your music and lofi music time to time. Always telling yourself you'll be fine. If I was you I'd be glad cuz honey, back in the day, if you was me- you woulda been dead. Your to soft n emotional, I was too but I dealt with it. So look at me and stop acting like this n just saying sorry. you ain't know what hard is, I saved your life by protecting you, but now I'm done, showing all that love and affection, Now come sit down and drink your drink, now "Ok" I say silently" Now shush n watch tv" she said, now I sit down feeling worthless thinking "Man I really am just useless.. She gotta point, but still, am I that bad? I wish I was stronger n your words didn't kill me this bad" later on through out the day watching tv and I start feeling sleepy, turning off my screen n now I'm laying down. Million thoughts in my head, why can't it quiet down? I close my eyes n still think "maybe be she'd be happy if I was just always asleep" I get up n go upstairs grab a cord n wrap it around my neck saying my final prayers, begging God to forgive me but if he can still show me mercy. I check my phone for the last time, on my insta n see my favorite person say "I miss ya" I burst out crying, my eyes starting to sting. I text back "I love ya" n he says "I really miss ya, wish you was here then I'd be complete, you always make me so happy" making me smile feeling weirdly happy. I wanna text him how I feel but I know what he gonna say, n I don't wanna cry again and hear him say "baby, please stay" we talk a bit before I gotta go saying "I love you" cuz I know there's no tomorrow. It's after 4pm and I close my door, crying n go back to what I was gonna do, but stop and cry starting to think. "No I can't" I say bursting into tears "No matter what I gotta love me" I start thinking of the good things that make me happy. Thinking of my boo, n my best friends, my lil bro and my puppy "I gotta be strong if not for me for them" I get up n wipe my eyes take off that cord n throw it in the corner, n then go back down. I lay down in bed n think "Princesa you gotta remember your not ugly, on the inside without a doubt your so pretty. Now go to sleep and remember no matter what. Even when its tough, you gotta think of all those things that be making you happy, use them girl to make you smile, stay strong because deep down you know your worth the while"

Answer 2

its deep good job

Answer 3

Bro- i felt that, good job though literally one of the best things ive seen on here- Good job!

Answer 4

life is a b- and it sucks when ppl try and get you down like that... evan when you think your useless thats when your the most useful. IDK how you could stay so calm because IK I would flip. your an amazing person an I really hope that yk that. never give u hope. best of wish's... joseph b

Answer 5

Pretty nice, keep it up

Answer 6

This is awesome, good job bestie 💕

Answer 7

This is wonderful and made me feel. excellent job. ever considered a career in writing?