Question

So basically I had to write this creative narrative essay about how something came to be in the world and uh...
I need some advice. If there's anything that should be changed then could someone point it out? I was told to write four paragraphs so I couldn't really go all out like I wanted... ;3;
Ill post it in the comments :l

Answer 1

Before the clouds drifted freely through the sky, the sky was empty and blue. The spirits of the good willed people roamed the land, watching those who still possessed the breath of life. The village, hardworking in the day and joyous in the night, was located near a forest full of spirits. They referred to the forest as the Forest of Spirits.

One day, a little boy in a patched, frayed fur skin encountered one of these spirits as he was adventuring through the dimly lit forest. The spirit, a girl in a dark brown furskin adorned with bright jewels, was skipping around. She hummed a song quietly as she smelled the various assortment of flowers that naturally grew around a birch tree’s roots. The boy looked at the spirit curiously. “What are you doing?” he asked, mesmerized by the song the spirit was humming. The spirit took notice of the boy for the first time, and her face lit up. “Why I’m just smelling the flowers!”, she exclaimed, picking up a light purple flower. “The smell of these flowers in particular remind me of my mother. Although she’s still alive I barely remember her.” The boy then flopped onto the damp earth, still looking at the girl. “Do you have a name?”, the boy asked kindly. “My name is Liliana, what’s yours?”She looked at the boy excitedly. “My name is Alo. Nice to meet you, Liliana!”Alo said happily. Just then, Alo’s mother ran into the forest’s clearing. “Alo, there you are! I’ve told you not to run off into the forest talking to spirits! When is it going to get through that thick skull of yours?!” She pulled Alo up, ushering him out of the clearing. As she did this, she took one look at Liliana and hastily followed after Alo.

That night, whilst the village was sleeping soundly, Alo’s mother slinked through the village quickly and quietly. She ascended the highest mountain near the village, and dropped to her knees, looking up to the sky. “I thank you for the beautiful sunrises and the prepossessing sunsets, but I desperately need your help. I fear that my son might soon become entangled between our world and the spirit world.” The mother paused, taking a breath. “Surely,”, She continued on. “Surely there’s a way to prevent this preposterous event from happening.” The sky, although pitch black with a few occasional twinkles of the stars, contemplated the mother’s words patiently. “Very well then.”, the Sky spoke finally, breaking the timid silence. As he spoke, some of the stars would flash. “I shall make floating cities of white where the spirits can reside. That way, they can still watch over their loved ones, but the citizens of the humble village shan’t have any unwanted encounters with the spirits.” The Sky fell silent, and the mother descended back down to the mountain.

The next day, Alo ran to the forest, looking for Liliana again. He frantically peeked around each tree, looked around every flower patch, and even climbed trees to look for Liliana. As he soon began to lose hope, he heard a voice. “Up here! I’m up here!” Alo looked up to see Liliana laying on a small cloud, looking down at him. “I have to stay up here so the worlds of spirits and humans don’t get mixed up, but I’ll be watching from the clouds!” Alo nodded, then carried on with life. From that moment forward, the clouds would float in the sky, shapeless and white, but there would be hidden cities in and on these clouds harboring the spirits of the dead.

Answer 2

The title of it is "The City of Clouds"

Answer 3

My god. This is amazing. Here I present you a gift from the gods.

Answer 4

This is beautiful sailz it all made sense in the end amazing how you made this well done keep it up

Answer 5

lovely

Answer 6

Thank you both