Question

Hey can ya'll read this and tell me what yo think it is my 900 word rough draft.

The Deathwish
As the sun was peeking through the curtains, Rainsford awoke from his prolonged nap. What a fantastic morning! Today the General is to be a fine meal for the dogs, for I have beat him, Rainsford thought gleefully.
“Good Morning,” General Zaroff boomed. “Shall we have some breakfast?”
Why is he acting in such ways when he is to be gone by supper? He couldn't have forgotten… Rainsford pondered on the possibilities. The General strolled out of the room before Rainsford answered as if it were obvious. Rainsford wondered if he should trust him or not as he got dressed.
As Rainsford walked down the winding staircase he noticed a beautiful purple flower in all of the vases along the halls. Hmm, I will have to look for this flower in the library… Rainsford thought as he descended the stairs.
“I will be up in a minute!”, Rainsford heard Zaroff yell from the basement.
“Fool,”Rainsford muttered under his breath. Rainsford looked around the kitchen thinking of where he should feed the dogs.
“Now, how about some breakfast?”, the General asked as he sat at the elegant table.
“How about you get ready for breakfast? I bet your hounds are ready for their meal. Unless they have a certain time to eat?”Rainsford spoke with a tone as if he were fed-up . Zaroff looked shocked and then smiled. “Well, Rainsford actually I ha-”
“SHUT IT ZAROFF! YOU ARE TO BE FED TO THE HOUNDS AT 9 O’CLOCK!”, Rainsford spoke with a thunderous voice as if he was the devil himself. This time Zaroff was truly speechless.
“Where are your students, General?” he paused, lost in thought, “I wish to teach them my ways.”
“I do not understand, why do you wish to teach them if you do not like what I am teaching?”, Zarroff asked, quite confused.
“Ah, you see, I said my ways, not yours.”, Rainsford said knowingly. “You should start getting ready before your departure.”
“Their classes are in the basement…”, Zaroff muttered as he walked up the stairs. Rainsford walked down the stairs.
The stairs were uncleaned, the wallpaper peeling. Rather than modern lights as there were in the rest of the house. In the basement hallway there were torches on hooks. Rainsford heard whispering around the corner and saw what appeared to be a prison. There were cots with ragged blankets; if any at all. No pillows, a couple buckets and what looked to be broken cups scattered around. The people were all ages...

Answer 1

...Rainsford noticed a little girl that looked to be about 5. They were whispering among themselves until they noticed Rainsford. A woman quickly hid the little girl behind her. The rest of them, mostly men, lined up briskly. Rainsford noticed another thing in the corner wiggling about.
“What is that over in the corner?”, Rainsford asked. A large dark man stepped forward.
“My son.”, the man boomed, “He is my son Amos.”
“Well, I hope I will soon get to meet Amos. My name is Rainsford. I have been stranded here and in my time have beat General Zaroff.” Rainsford spoke softly. Not like the General spoke to these poor beings.
“Hello… I am Adam, this is my sister Horia and this little one is not yet named. She was found on ship alone a… while ago.”, He couldn’t seem to think of how long ago it was.
“I am not here to harm you, I have come to free you from here.”, Rainsford said soothingly. A young girl stepped forward.
“Now, how are we supposed to know you aren’t a replacement for Zaroff, huh?”, she spoke with an accent Rainsford couldn’t quite place.
“I am to feed Zaroff to the dogs at 9 tonight. Now, if you come out you will be fed good food, have exceptional lodging, and be provided with real schooling. Not whatever hockeycock he’s been teaching you.”, Rainsford said as he opened the door.
Slowly a slender man walked out. Followed by Adam and the rest of them.
“Please make your way to the dining room and have a seat!”Rainsford cheerfully said, realizing there were not enough chairs. Rushing to the halls to find a closet. Coming back empty handed, Rainsford saw they had already found chairs.
“I am not sure who makes the food…” Rainsford said quizzically.
“I do.” Horia hurried to the kitchen. Rainsford talked with the people as lunch was being served.
“I would like to raise a toast to the world and that despite what has happened to us we are together now!”, Rainsford yelled to the crowd, raising his glass. Everyone raised their glasses and with a cheer, Horia came out with lunch. In the evening after dinner, they were to play a game. Whoever could find Zaroff got to throw him in a pit with his dogs. Everyone was against Horia, The little girl and Rainsford.“Quite an uneven ma-”, Rainsford stopped as he heard a twig snap behind him,
“Well General, I didn’t expect all of us to find you.”,Raisford remakred as the general was coming up behind them pistol in hand. Dropping it, he stumbled backwards.
Rainsford motioned at the big clock at the window, “8:55. General, I bid you adieu.” And with that Zaroff was swepped into the crowd awaiting his fate.

Answer 2

i feel like the point of view changes a lot and it could be a bit confusing for other readers

Answer 3

you did great

Answer 4

you did great utwayyy tomany words

Answer 5

its great! you worked hard on it! keep up the great work!

Answer 6

Good Job

Answer 7

Sweet!