Question

I wrote a poem, ignore the darkness I promise I'm not depressed lol, just bored and needed to write one for class sooo, thoughts?

Nobody noticed I was broken
Shattered
Never spoken
A heart of pure gold
Maybe that is why I'm sold
A mind that's greater than the ocean
Lost in every motion
A soul that's lighter than most
Sometimes I forget that I'm the host
Trying to keep it in control
But maybe
I should just let go...

Answer 1

Coming from a musical artist, I think this is well thought of and I like the way you ended it.
I will give this a 6 out of 10
6 for the theme and how its dark but letting people know how you would feel if u were fr depressed.
I think you can work on your flow tho, this could be considered a free verse poem tho. You have to consider the fact that even though you make it rhyme, it has to have a decent flow. Imagine it like this- you write it and read it out loud and it just feels right saying off the tongue.
Great work @JazzWill
keep going and never give up no matter what
-sincerely MoE

Answer 2

i like it i am deppressded

Answer 3

This is great!!!

Answer 4

omg you so good

Answer 5

good jod

Answer 6

Gives me NF vibes, I like it!

Answer 7

I like it! Keep up the good work!