hey guys, i wrote a poem and i would like for some feedback...positive or negative idc... just be honest..ty in advance
i got shot in the heart with a dart
that makes my heart fall apart
where my blood leaks away through a ruptured blood vessle
but yes im okay
i just wanna pray
and say
thank you god for this horrible day
thank you god for this endless pain
now i have no choice but to hide my feelings
hide my feelings with a smile everyday
but i hate how no one notices my pain
i hate how no one stops and asks if im okay
i hate how no one stops to help me carry on instead of letting me fade away
it hurts
it wont go away
will it ever go away, or is it forever pain
maybe when i pass away
the pain will finally go on and fade away
the pain will be gone
and i will breathe no longer
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Sidney64:
I LOVE ITTTTT!! Bestieeee its sad but its good<33 i hope ur doing ok but zoom w meeee
DaRealestVic:
@sidney64 wrote:
I LOVE ITTTTT!! Bestieeee its sad but its good<33 i hope ur doing ok but zoom w meeee
okayy..ty for the feedback
Sidney64:
@darealestvic wrote:
@sidney64 wrote:
I LOVE ITTTTT!! Bestieeee its sad but its good<33 i hope ur doing ok but zoom w meeee
okayy..ty for the feedback
ya ofc
745967:
i like it almost made me cry, but that's me sometimes
DaRealestVic:
@745967 wrote:
i like it almost made me cry, but that's me sometimes
ty for the feedback...and dont cry
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745967:
@darealestvic wrote:
@745967 wrote:
i like it almost made me cry, but that's me sometimes
ty for the feedback...and dont cry
trying
imabadguy:
its amazing like u
DaRealestVic:
@imabadguy wrote:
its amazing like u
ty for the feedback
imabadguy:
gotchu can i get a medal
DaRealestVic:
tyg
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imabadguy:
ty
DaRealestVic:
@imabadguy wrote:
ty
ofc
ImHotterThanUGirl:
its nice
DaRealestVic:
@imhotterthanugirl wrote:
its nice
ty
Princessgrace998:
I like it
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DaRealestVic:
@princessgrace998 wrote:
I like it
ty
Zeke:
You should stop writing/typing poems and start getting on the treadmill more
imabadguy:
@zeke wrote:
You should stop writing/typing poems and start getting on the treadmill more
dont be rude
DaRealestVic:
@zeke wrote:
You should stop writing/typing poems and start getting on the treadmill more
u got jokes now?
DaRealestVic:
@imabadguy wrote:
@zeke wrote:
You should stop writing/typing poems and start getting on the treadmill more
dont be rude
its fine
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ANgelsBACK:
Sad but good and kinda relatable.
Sidney64:
@zeke wrote:
You should stop writing/typing poems and start getting on the treadmill more
dont be jealous that she writes poems better than u, vic actually has the guts to put her face on qc, ppl like u are the reason i hate ppl so put ur face as ur pfp before body shamming other ppl or making fun of ppl bc its not like u have the guts to put ur face as ur pfp
ShoaibChaudhry:
Bro imagine trying to roast someone by calling them fat :< Buh ur poeom is accualty relateable :>
Beef:
@zeke wrote:
You should stop writing/typing poems and start getting on the treadmill more
Get off this question. Delete your response. I wouldn't wanna flame you. I can diss you 6 different times in one sentence. Shut up, stay away from negative comments. At least she feels confident enough to make her pfp herself. What is yours? You look like a white guy tryna pose with a permed short cut and you have male breasts hanging out, not to mention your rolls are over lapping your jacket. Also your drip is disgusting, you remind me of the roach aliens from men in black "AYYYY JAYYY WADDUPPPPPP... WANNA PLAY A GAME OF TwIsTerrrr?!" Nah bruh yur cam quality is trash, ur pose is gross. Wha you on qc for? You look like one of those guys here who will press girls for ykw pics and rub ur willy to it. Get your nasty bugs life the parody verison head self on somewhere. Guys like you, are the reason we are called dogs. Dont get pressed. Be better. Make yo girl feel welcome and confident enough to post a pic of her real face. You are horrible my guy. She is gorgeous, look at the eyes bruh. Who cares if she not super skinny? At least she has everything ur girl will never have. *an amazing personality and a gorgeous face.* you wouldnt kno that comments like that, are whats causing her to stop eating and drinking more energy drinks.. cuz ppl like u drain her and make her feel like she is a mess. She is beautiful inside and out. You seem like one of those guys who force ur girl to be someone you want her to be, and not who she wants to be. Stop sayin things like this, you are a pest to the society. If you would like to take this to dm's, i will gladly press you into blocking me.... mostly cuz you a lil cat. Have a nice day
Beef:
@zeke wrote:
She's gorgeous? Bro your profile girl fat as hell too tell her to get on treadmill with her 😭😭😭
Lmao okay. You have sd energy Lmao
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Kaimii:
I personally love this its kinda like a sad poem but like at the same time its like SO GOOD!!!
DaRealestVic:
Ty everyone for defending me against this person....Sidney...I'll tell u who it is in a few days....and sun stuff might go down...and thank you to everyone for the feedback on my poem I rlly appreciate it
SatanBunneh:
Very nicely written. I like it.
@.ting someone who likes poetry/writes it. @toocoolnot
TooCoolNot:
Ouuuu I do love it! It reminds me of sum1 though but other than that, it's really good. Good job! Also don't listen to people like 'Zeke', he's just mad he isn't as cool as you.
5lim3Ty:
It's pretty good
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AspenIsBest:
It is really good and it hits hard with everything going on. I appreciate your confidence with being able to post your feelings
DaRealestVic:
@aspenisbest wrote:
It is really good and it hits hard with everything going on. I appreciate your confidence with being able to post your feelings
Ty
DaRealestVic:
@aspenisbest wrote:
It is really good and it hits hard with everything going on. I appreciate your confidence with being able to post your feelings
Ty
DaRealestVic:
@5lim3ty wrote:
It's pretty good
Thx
DaRealestVic:
@toocoolnot wrote:
Ouuuu I do love it! It reminds me of sum1 though but other than that, it's really good. Good job! Also don't listen to people like 'Zeke', he's just mad he isn't as cool as you.
Thx
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DaRealestVic:
@satanbunneh wrote:
Very nicely written. I like it.
@.ting someone who likes poetry/writes it. @toocoolnot
Ty
keiraa:
I like the poem even tho it's sad.
DaRealestVic:
@keiraa wrote:
I like the poem even tho it's sad.
Ty
PuppyBoy932:
Your poem is amazing I’ll share all positive feedback to anyone’s work including yours KEEP IT UP and you write amazing poems in the future
DaRealestVic:
@puppyboy932 wrote:
Your poem is amazing I’ll share all positive feedback to anyone’s work including yours KEEP IT UP and you write amazing poems in the future
Will do..ty for the feedback
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Pandora:
As a literary poem, it would need a few tweaks.
As a rap song I could definitely see this going somewhere.
Either way, I think it's great, I can feel the emotion within.
Keep going! ❤️
jayden07:
this is a good poem
5lim3Ty:
It's very moving
200082741:
i realy like it
rose12345:
nice love it
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200082741:
@zeke wrote:
You should stop writing/typing poems and start getting on the treadmill more
dunno who dis is brodie but the fact that u said this w u as ur pfp is crazy. My Pickle you look like a greased up kneecap bro dont come for other s whe n u havent looked in the mirror
DaRealestVic:
@200082741 wrote:
@zeke wrote:
You should stop writing/typing poems and start getting on the treadmill more
dunno who dis is brodie but the fact that u said this w u as ur pfp is crazy. My Pickle you look like a greased up kneecap bro dont come for other s whe n u havent looked in the mirror
Ty 🤣💀
DaRealestVic:
@rose12345 wrote:
nice love it
Ty
Zeke:
@200082741 wrote:
@zeke wrote:
You should stop writing/typing poems and start getting on the treadmill more
dunno who dis is brodie but the fact that u said this w u as ur pfp is crazy. My Pickle you look like a greased up kneecap bro dont come for other s whe n u havent looked in the mirror
Oh no, fatso 2 comes to defend the fatso 1
How scared should be of you female dogs.
SatanicDevil:
Very, very well played poem sir. I love it good job!
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Swirxy:
W
LillPerson:
The poem really includes everything, emotion, words, and rhythm of some sort. Poems like this deserve a 10 out of 10
Arieonna:
i love it so much awsome job
Arieonna:
can´t wait to hear more
Questionguy:
Seems like it's to far out, to distinctive with rhythmical words, try adding words that rhyme, but to a certain standard.
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DaRealestVic:
@questionguy wrote:
Seems like it's to far out, to distinctive with rhythmical words, try adding words that rhyme, but to a certain standard.
DaRealestVic:
Sidney64:
745967:
imabadguy:
ImHotterThanUGirl:
Princessgrace998:
Zeke:
ANgelsBACK:
ShoaibChaudhry:
Beef:
Kaimii:
SatanBunneh:
TooCoolNot:
5lim3Ty:
AspenIsBest:
keiraa:
PuppyBoy932:
Pandora:
jayden07:
200082741:
rose12345:
SatanicDevil:
Swirxy:
LillPerson:
Arieonna:
Bounty:
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