Question

Okay so this is a poem i wrote for school (my first poem) to my future self after high school. Do you have any suggestions for improvements?

Answer 1

Remember about the hard work you put in
To your life and the goals to succeed in life
To the accomplishments that you ought to win
To what nature always says, “Always chase after your dreams”
What could be better than living the life you’ve always dreamed of?

What could be better than never giving up on what you love?
Remember this: Always go after your dreams
You’ve come this far, shining like a car’s high beams

Also, remember your family, the people who have helped you come this far.
You’ll so surely say sorry should you not remember them.
Remember your school life, which passed by like a rocket going to outer space
Always appreciate what your family and teachers have done for you, you’ll be in the right place

Remember the goal to make the world a better place?
That can call and count continuously toward a quality goal.
Remember to discover more information about the universe, the world around you
Remember to always live the dream you’ve been dreaming of.
It is pivotal to always do your best in life and never give up like a cup.

Answer 2

Beautiful layout, and great reminder Keys! Really thought this one out.

Answer 3

hmmmmmmmmm

Answer 4

wow that is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo amazing

Answer 5

thank you everyone

Answer 6

I like this poem. It sends a good message and when you read this after school. You are going to remember all the good and some bad things, but hopefully just the good things. You deliver the message that school may be tough but it can help you get the life you want in the future. This was also really good for your first poem and I hope you continue to write more because you have a skill for writing poems. Great Job and Have a wonderful day. < 3

Answer 7

thank you, I'm just not sure because I'm not too hot on writing sometimes

Answer 8

it is really really good

Answer 9

Wow! That is really good, it has lot's of great details. I think that this is great just the way it is! Like this is (really x10) goooood! Amazing job, keep up your amazing work! :D

Answer 10

I think this is really good! I dont really think there's a need for improvement.

Answer 11

thank you. you all have been kind here

Answer 12

I like.

Answer 13

This is absolutely beautiful. Keep up the great work, I mean it!!

Answer 14

Congratulations on writing your first poem! Here are a few suggestions for improvements:

1. Consider using more concrete and specific imagery to help bring your ideas to life. For example, instead of saying "shining like a car's high beams," you could describe a specific moment or experience that made you feel proud or accomplished.

2. Work on the rhythm and flow of the poem. You have some great ideas and sentiments, but the uneven meter and rhyme scheme can make it feel a bit choppy. Experiment with different line lengths and patterns to create a more consistent rhythm.

3. Consider revising some of the phrasing to make it more concise and impactful. For example, instead of saying "What could be better than living the life you've always dreamed of?" you could say something like "Living your dream is the ultimate reward."

Overall, you have some great ideas and sentiments in this poem. With a bit of revision and refinement, it has the potential to be a really powerful piece of writing. Keep up the good work!

Answer 15

GOOOOOD

Answer 16

Noice!!

Answer 17

👏