https://www.quotev.com/story/16332051/Mountain-of-Memories Hi everyone, I finished the first chapter to the next book, please tell me any criticisms or improvements and any errors I might have put in

Question

snowie · Answer

it's amazing, it's very good, keep up the hard work

Serolitovmaytasho · Answer

@snowie wrote:

it's amazing, it's very good, keep up the hard work

that was quick, but thank you

snowie · Answer

@serolitovmaytasho wrote:

@snowie wrote:

it's amazing, it's very good, keep up the hard work

that was quick, but thank you

np :3

Maramaria · Answer

nice

mxddi3 · Answer

Hi there !
I think there is potential here for a GREAT story! 
A few things I would work on would be your capitalization and punctuation. 
There are also points here where your sentences are a little long and it wouldn't hurt to break them up. When you keep them as one long sentence, some areas can get a little wordy. 
I personally LOVE details because they really bring me into the moment, however it's important to make sure that the details have value and are important to the message you're attempting to deliver to the reader.

I would love to talk specifics with you if you are interested. Good luck with your writing (:

Serolitovmaytasho · Answer

@mxddi3 wrote:

Hi there ! I think there is potential here for a GREAT story! A few things I would work on would be your capitalization and punctuation. There are also points here where your sentences are a little long and it wouldn't hurt to break them up. When you keep them as one long sentence, some areas can get a little wordy. I personally LOVE details because they really bring me into the moment, however it's important to make sure that the details have value and are important to the message you're attempting to deliver to the reader. I would love to talk specifics with you if you are interested. Good luck with your writing (:

sounds good with me, thank you for telling me all of this by the way, I'll be sure to work on what you've said