Reposting my story again. Too much spamming on my other one.
The Dust
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Serpents:
Trudging through the thick mud and damp leaves, accompanied by the cool damp breeze of autumn. I wondered to myself. I wondered about many things. My mind could not be setted, even by the reassurance that life would be okay from now on. It would not stop. My thoughts that are racing can not be silenced. All of the memories, the flashbacks, the trauma, the pain. I could feel it deep within me, that tonight would be different. It is an overwhelming feeling to miss something. I miss my old life, back home, but since I chose to leave my home to be closer to myself, my spirit and these woods, I have been better. The cold, autumn walks that I took each morning before the dawn arose lightened me. I found myself pondering life itself in these woods. It is a strange phenomenon, to question yourself this deeply. Most individuals that come out here, most of them out here seeking the same as I, lose their mind from the questions brought by themselves. I, however, have fortunately kept my sanity, and actually found it more comforting to be out in a place like this. I say that as though all woodlands find themselves to be similar to these woods, but I assure you, they are not. These woods find themself to be mystical is some way. Not mystical in a way you might think. Its not like any forest you would find in a children's book, their is much more depth in these woods. You can almost feel it in the soil beneath your feet. In the air that you breathe and surrounds you. In the way that the towering limbs overhead majestically sway along with the wind. It is not normal windland, yet at the same time, I can not point out a physical difference. The difference is that of which the deep forest holds within itself and all its secrets. I have dedicated my new life to finding all of its hidden secrets buried within the centuries that have buried them. As I warned, I looked in too deeply. My world fell into a timeless void only sound or knowledge of life was that of the beating of my heart. It started out slow, but my heart rate gradually increased to become like the sound of a train. I could feel the train, its approaching. I feel as if my heart will explode. Closer, closer, the train moving at great speeds, hits me and my eyes jolt open to find myself in the woods still as before. I stand up, only to find that my knees are weak. I feel colder with every passing second. Just as I thought I regained my balance, a great, cold gust of autumn air blows into me. It hits with such force that I am pushed to my knees. My head went spinning and I stood up again. It hits me again with the breeze, only this time, is was harder, much more powerful. It all hit me at once. I had found what people come here to find. The forest is alive. The way the ground moves slightly with each breath. The forest can control things. It was the forest that had pushed me to my knees. I can not handle this, I feel a cold, sharp pain built in my chest. I slowly lose myself as I collapse into my eternal slumber amongst the forest and all her beauty, to aid others if they attempt to find this great gift as I have, but for now, I shall enjoy my slumber.
MarioMx64:
Nice
Story
MarioMx64:
And i bet has a hidden message
hannahj:
yee yee so nice, so nice! xD
L8RVAL:
Nice story
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Beanie:
Make it into paragraphs
DorianIsHere:
paragraphs would make it better to read, and more clear
L8RVAL:
Fr
DorianIsHere:
ts
Serpents:
@dorianishere wrote:
paragraphs would make it better to read, and more clear
I agree, I'll also add to the story too.
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DorianIsHere:
k
KIllerwolfdaone:
That’s a nice story just add paragraphs
TETSXPREME:
oh my
L8RVAL:
Ight
HotPockets14:
it good, I like it
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hellokitty265:
cool
hellokitty265:
@l8rval wrote:
Ight
emotional damage
swordtotheheart:
I enjoyed this much, having a somewhat connection with the story as I love the forest myself. I just had a problem with how clumped together it is. It's easier to read if the one huge paragraph was separated into smaller ones. Other then that, great job. I noticed how at the end, it says 'for now'. Does this mean the person in the story could be reincarnated or something like that?
Serpents:
@swordtotheheart wrote:
I enjoyed this much, having a somewhat connection with the story as I love the forest myself. I just had a problem with how clumped together it is. It's easier to read if the one huge paragraph was separated into smaller ones. Other then that, great job. I noticed how at the end, it says 'for now'. Does this mean the person in the story could be reincarnated or something like that?
I'm trying to finish the story itself, but yes, the character is being reincarnated.
swordtotheheart:
@serpents wrote:
@swordtotheheart wrote:
I enjoyed this much, having a somewhat connection with the story as I love the forest myself. I just had a problem with how clumped together it is. It's easier to read if the one huge paragraph was separated into smaller ones. Other then that, great job. I noticed how at the end, it says 'for now'. Does this mean the person in the story could be reincarnated or something like that?
I'm trying to finish the story itself, but yes, the character is being reincarnated.
That's cool, actually. And sort of off topic, I saw that your profile picture is the South Side Serpents. Have you too watched Riverdale?
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Serpents:
@swordtotheheart wrote:
@serpents wrote:
@swordtotheheart wrote:
I enjoyed this much, having a somewhat connection with the story as I love the forest myself. I just had a problem with how clumped together it is. It's easier to read if the one huge paragraph was separated into smaller ones. Other then that, great job. I noticed how at the end, it says 'for now'. Does this mean the person in the story could be reincarnated or something like that?
I'm trying to finish the story itself, but yes, the character is being reincarnated.
That's cool, actually. And sort of off topic, I saw that your profile picture is the South Side Serpents. Have you too watched Riverdale?
Yes, I have. I love Riverdale and I'm finishing the 7th season right now.
swordtotheheart:
@serpents wrote:
@swordtotheheart wrote:
@serpents wrote:
@swordtotheheart wrote:
I enjoyed this much, having a somewhat connection with the story as I love the forest myself. I just had a problem with how clumped together it is. It's easier to read if the one huge paragraph was separated into smaller ones. Other then that, great job. I noticed how at the end, it says 'for now'. Does this mean the person in the story could be reincarnated or something like that?
I'm trying to finish the story itself, but yes, the character is being reincarnated.
That's cool, actually. And sort of off topic, I saw that your profile picture is the South Side Serpents. Have you too watched Riverdale?
Yes, I have. I love Riverdale and I'm finishing the 7th season right now.
I see. I hope you enjoy it.
Serpents:
@swordtotheheart wrote:
@serpents wrote:
@swordtotheheart wrote:
@serpents wrote:
@swordtotheheart wrote:
I enjoyed this much, having a somewhat connection with the story as I love the forest myself. I just had a problem with how clumped together it is. It's easier to read if the one huge paragraph was separated into smaller ones. Other then that, great job. I noticed how at the end, it says 'for now'. Does this mean the person in the story could be reincarnated or something like that?
I'm trying to finish the story itself, but yes, the character is being reincarnated.
That's cool, actually. And sort of off topic, I saw that your profile picture is the South Side Serpents. Have you too watched Riverdale?
Yes, I have. I love Riverdale and I'm finishing the 7th season right now.
I see. I hope you enjoy it.
Thank you, I appreciate your feedback as well.
hannahj:
I like it a lot!
L8RAaronOnTop:
W
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L8RVAL:
@serpents wrote:
Trudging through the thick mud and damp leaves, accompanied by the cool damp breeze of autumn. I wondered to myself. I wondered about many things. My mind could not be setted, even by the reassurance that life would be okay from now on. It would not stop. My thoughts that are racing can not be silenced. All of the memories, the flashbacks, the trauma, the pain. I could feel it deep within me, that tonight would be different. It is an overwhelming feeling to miss something. I miss my old life, back home, but since I chose to leave my home to be closer to myself, my spirit and these woods, I have been better. The cold, autumn walks that I took each morning before the dawn arose lightened me. I found myself pondering life itself in these woods. It is a strange phenomenon, to question yourself this deeply. Most individuals that come out here, most of them out here seeking the same as I, lose their mind from the questions brought by themselves. I, however, have fortunately kept my sanity, and actually found it more comforting to be out in a place like this. I say that as though all woodlands find themselves to be similar to these woods, but I assure you, they are not. These woods find themself to be mystical is some way. Not mystical in a way you might think. Its not like any forest you would find in a children's book, their is much more depth in these woods. You can almost feel it in the soil beneath your feet. In the air that you breathe and surrounds you. In the way that the towering limbs overhead majestically sway along with the wind. It is not normal windland, yet at the same time, I can not point out a physical difference. The difference is that of which the deep forest holds within itself and all its secrets. I have dedicated my new life to finding all of its hidden secrets buried within the centuries that have buried them. As I warned, I looked in too deeply. My world fell into a timeless void only sound or knowledge of life was that of the beating of my heart. It started out slow, but my heart rate gradually increased to become like the sound of a train. I could feel the train, its approaching. I feel as if my heart will explode. Closer, closer, the train moving at great speeds, hits me and my eyes jolt open to find myself in the woods still as before. I stand up, only to find that my knees are weak. I feel colder with every passing second. Just as I thought I regained my balance, a great, cold gust of autumn air blows into me. It hits with such force that I am pushed to my knees. My head went spinning and I stood up again. It hits me again with the breeze, only this time, is was harder, much more powerful. It all hit me at once. I had found what people come here to find. The forest is alive. The way the ground moves slightly with each breath. The forest can control things. It was the forest that had pushed me to my knees. I can not handle this, I feel a cold, sharp pain built in my chest. I slowly lose myself as I collapse into my eternal slumber amongst the forest and all her beauty, to aid others if they attempt to find this great gift as I have, but for now, I shall enjoy my slumber.
Not bad
abound:
@dorianishere wrote:
paragraphs would make it better to read, and more clear
agreed
persephone:
Wonderful story I must admit. Keep going, you'll make a fine book writer.
L8RVAL:
@hellokitty265 wrote:
@l8rval wrote:
Ight
emotional damage
Lmaoo
L8RVAL:
It's still a good story
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Prettygirl099:
nice
jessistocutelol:
ahh to good
Mexy:
i didnt read it...but it looks good ((:
carry:
That's a pretty good story. I suggest asking actual writers for suggestions though instead of the QuestionCove community lol
luhivqqcherry:
its a beautiful story 💗 , you did an amazing job on it stgg !! .
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Trudging through the thick mud and damp leaves, accompanied by the cool damp breeze of autumn. I wondered to myself. I wondered about many things. My mind could not be setted, even by the reassurance that life would be okay from now on. It would not stop. My thoughts that are racing can not be silenced. All of the memories, the flashbacks, the trauma, the pain. I could feel it deep within me, that tonight would be different. It is an overwhelming feeling to miss something. I miss my old life, back home, but since I chose to leave my home to be closer to myself, my spirit and these woods, I have been better. The cold, autumn walks that I took each morning before the dawn arose lightened me. I found myself pondering life itself in these woods. It is a strange phenomenon, to question yourself this deeply. Most individuals that come out here, most of them out here seeking the same as I, lose their mind from the questions brought by themselves. I, however, have fortunately kept my sanity, and actually found it more comforting to be out in a place like this. I say that as though all woodlands find themselves to be similar to these woods, but I assure you, they are not. These woods find themself to be mystical is some way. Not mystical in a way you might think. Its not like any forest you would find in a children's book, their is much more depth in these woods. You can almost feel it in the soil beneath your feet. In the air that you breathe and surrounds you. In the way that the towering limbs overhead majestically sway along with the wind. It is not normal windland, yet at the same time, I can not point out a physical difference. The difference is that of which the deep forest holds within itself and all its secrets. I have dedicated my new life to finding all of its hidden secrets buried within the centuries that have buried them. As I warned, I looked in too deeply. My world fell into a timeless void only sound or knowledge of life was that of the beating of my heart. It started out slow, but my heart rate gradually increased to become like the sound of a train. I could feel the train, its approaching. I feel as if my heart will explode. Closer, closer, the train moving at great speeds, hits me and my eyes jolt open to find myself in the woods still as before. I stand up, only to find that my knees are weak. I feel colder with every passing second. Just as I thought I regained my balance, a great, cold gust of autumn air blows into me. It hits with such force that I am pushed to my knees. My head went spinning and I stood up again. It hits me again with the breeze, only this time, is was harder, much more powerful. It all hit me at once. I had found what people come here to find. The forest is alive. The way the ground moves slightly with each breath. The forest can control things. It was the forest that had pushed me to my knees. I can not handle this, I feel a cold, sharp pain built in my chest. I slowly lose myself as I collapse into my eternal slumber amongst the forest and all her beauty, to aid others if they attempt to find this great gift as I have, but for now, I shall enjoy my slumber.
Not bad! 10/10
Serpents:
Thank you all!
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Serpents:
MarioMx64:
hannahj:
L8RVAL:
Beanie:
DorianIsHere:
KIllerwolfdaone:
TETSXPREME:
HotPockets14:
hellokitty265:
swordtotheheart:
L8RAaronOnTop:
abound:
persephone:
Prettygirl099:
jessistocutelol:
Mexy:
carry:
luhivqqcherry:
totallynotcrumb:
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