He broke up with me first
Then he called me the worst
I was in rage
But it wasn’t the age
I asked him to stop
So he let me drop
I was down
And he wore the crown

Please rate this

Question

He broke up with me first
Then he called me the worst
I was in rage
But it wasn’t the age
I asked him to stop
So he let me drop 
I was down
And he wore the crown

Please rate this

1UPSA · Answer

dude who cares

PraiseAndPeace · Answer

this pretty solid like i give it a 7 :3

Ray13 · Answer

@1upsa wrote:

dude who cares

I asked to rate it i never said i cared. I wanted to see how i did

Ray13 · Answer

@praiseandpeace wrote:

this pretty solid like i give it a 7 :3

Thank you! :>

121024 · Answer

It sounds like something REILL would write. I love it. 8.5/10.

PraiseAndPeace · Answer

@ray13 wrote:

@praiseandpeace wrote:

this pretty solid like i give it a 7 :3

Thank you! :>

Of course! :>

Ray13 · Answer

@121024 wrote:

It sounds like something REILL would write. I love it. 8.5/10.

Thank you so much!!

121024 · Answer

Mhm!

121024 · Answer

I'm a music producer in my own right lol.

I make a lot of anime, games, and movie rock songs.

Ray13 · Answer

@121024 wrote:

I'm a music producer in my own right lol. I make a lot of anime, games, and movie rock songs.

nice

TJH · Answer

nice job

mwahnogirl · Answer

"i was down, and he wore the crown" is lwky hard, i like it fr 8/10

Ray13 · Answer

How should i improve it?

mwahnogirl · Answer

maybe clarity, its a litle confusing at the part where it says "I was in rage
But it wasn’t the age" might just be me tho

kristen000021 · Answer

ts

PraiseAndPeace · Answer

@ray13 wrote:

How should i improve it?

hmm you could add more specific details or imagery to make the emotions hit harder like for example instead of just saying "i was down" you could like describe how it felt like "i crumbled to the ground, feeling hollow." like stuff like that so you can really pull readers in and also you could play with rhythm a little more so you can flow smoother! like it is not bad like it is already good but if you were to improve it then that is what i would do so yeah :3

Ray13 · Answer

@mwahnogirl wrote:

maybe clarity, its a litle confusing at the part where it says "I was in rage But it wasn’t the age" might just be me tho

ok i was just trying to make it rymh but i understand it isnt clear

mwahnogirl · Answer

@ray13 wrote:

@mwahnogirl wrote:

maybe clarity, its a litle confusing at the part where it says "I was in rage But it wasn’t the age" might just be me tho

ok i was just trying to make it rymh but i understand it isnt clear

all good :) overall i still think its good

Ray13 · Answer

@mwahnogirl wrote:

@ray13 wrote:

@mwahnogirl wrote:

maybe clarity, its a litle confusing at the part where it says "I was in rage But it wasn’t the age" might just be me tho

ok i was just trying to make it rymh but i understand it isnt clear

all good :) overall i still think its good

THanks

luhsky25 · Answer

thats my gf did to me

TJH · Answer

did what

TJH · Answer

what did i do huh?

TJH · Answer

@luhsky25 wrote:

thats my gf did to me

???

nep · Answer

4 hawks out of 10 tuahs

0mega · Answer

From the screen to the ring, to the pen, to the king. Wheres my crown, thats my bling, always drama when I ring

Lizzyyy · Answer

SO CUTEEEEEEE

Ray13 · Answer

ty everyone

Lizzyyy · Answer

Like it is fr tho
my ex did that

carry · Answer

1/100 do better.

sllo · Answer

Its okay I can be the better person for you

NaiNoah · Answer

Ngl this kinda sucks

whypyt · Answer

ngl this  is amazing u did that i like the ending the most sounds like someone can make some nice music fr

xXAikoXx · Answer

3

xXAikoXx · Answer

3/3

jjbruh · Answer

@nep wrote:

4 hawks out of 10 tuahs

whow that's a lot of tuahs

SaltySuga · Answer

7/10

CHRiiis · Answer

10/10 trust

AddieroniAndCheese · Answer

6.5/10